So I've been talking to this guy online for a while. We get along great, have similar interests, like many of the same things. In fact, we first just sort of got to be friends without even thinking about a relationship (we were both dating other people when we met), so I feel like we have this really good basis for a relationship. Well, a few months ago we both got dumped out of the blue at almost the same time. We did the friendly console each other thing, but, after a few weeks, we started talking about the possibility of us getting together. Which is great with me.
But, we've been talking a bit more about sexual stuff. He'd said before he doesn't like to bottom. Ok, I'm very versatile and like bottoming and hey, that's why god made fleshjacks, right? I can deal with this. So the other night we're talking on the phone, things got a little horny, and I said something about wanting him to pound me. There was a distinct lack of enthusiasm on his part. The mood was sort of instantly dead, and I started thinking "Ok, so he really doesn't find me attractive" and I said something to him about it.
He assured me that he does. And he tells me he's not into anal sex. At all.
Ok, I've heard about the mythical percentage of gay men not into anal. But in the last 15 years of talking to and hanging out with gay guys, I've never met one, not once. So then I say something about sucking each other off and he says "Really, I'd rather just focus on you. I'd rather give you pleasure and I don't matter." So now, this just seems really weird to me. I try to explain that I like
having a sort of sexual equality--that's actually a major turn on for me. He's just like "Meh." So I asked him if he's never been with a guy who likes doing stuff to/with him, and he says "Not really. Besides I don't matter." Yeah, he said it again.
This got me thinking back to previous conversations about things, like when he told me "Yeah, my childhood was less than ideal"--of course at the time I thought, yeah, you were the gay kid, who's childhood wasn't less than ideal? But now I'm thinking maybe he's got some abuse/trauma in his past. Does that seem like a possibility? Or am I making too much out of this?
Also, anyone else ever dealt with a guy who wasn't into anal? Any hope of coaching him into it?