Probably done before but Curious about everyones sexuality?
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Author Topic: Probably done before but Curious about everyones sexuality?  (Read 3701 times)
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« on: March 03, 2014, 04:14:42 pm »

I am just so interested in how people identify with their sexuality

I am particularly interested in anyone who can agree that we should have a Free Spirit category.

I have always found it difficult myself to categorize myself as any of the classifications because to me they put so much emphasis on one aspect of human interaction, the persons gender. For me, that shouldn't be the number one priority. when i am with someone it is not because they are Male or Female, but because i love them for them, not for what they keep between their legs (So obviously that fits the bisexual category) but Bisexual doesn't really sit right with me either because that still seems to put gender too far up the list of prioritize than on who they are as a person.

My Utopia would be a world no one has to identify with any particular sexuality if they don't want, and they can do what they want with who they want, to treat each other with equality and love. I think excessive categorization and classification of individual groups of people just creates a climate whereby we think we are different from those in a different group, which makes it easier for us to bear hatred and inflict violence.

I hope this makes sense anyway, its a concept that i find actually very difficult to explain to people, because it is just something that i feel intuitively/instinctively, as opposed to something that i logically think.

I am very interested to hear a variety of views on this concept, and would love to chat with anyone who has something to add or a different way to look at it. Either comment here or if your a bit shy i'm open for a PM Smiley
« Last Edit: March 03, 2014, 04:19:30 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2014, 11:32:55 pm »

I don't really consider myself gay, I don't identify with gay movements or politics (I support equality for all fundamentally, regardless of sexuality etc.)

I'm not into anal and I'm not really into men, I'm mainly interested in teens/youth up to 22 or so and just fellatio/kissing them.

Never been attracted to females in any way, the idea of having sex with them doesn't sit well with me  afraid

Should I identify as a pederast then? It seems to be the term which best fits me, yet it's one which will automatically prejudge people against me.
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« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2014, 09:32:16 am »

The idea of everyone being free spirited as you put it is indeed utopic people will always discriminate though even if we were all that way Smiley

i for one think of myself as bisexual because in the end im a very sexual person.. but when all said and done the important thing is the connection i have with the other person not their sex/sexuality
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« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2014, 03:06:20 pm »

Anarchy, I'm assuming by your statement that you don't fit into that age bracket yourself?
Depending on the situation I don't see anything wrong with an attraction to youth? Provide your actions are within the limit of the law I suppose.
I completely agree with you in regards to anal too. Never done it and have no intention of doing so. I have been with guys and they have asked me to fuck them and I just have no attraction to that part of them. As likewise I have no attraction to a females backside. I don't look at the anus as an object of affection.
I do however look at people as objects of affection. I would say I am split fairly exenly down the middle in terms of my bisexuality. Provided they are young no matter their gender I'm equally attracted to the thought of my skin making contact with theirs. I could happily survive with just skin to skin contact and nothing else. Exploring a partners body. And not just a mad dash to the finish line.
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« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2014, 07:31:38 pm »

Well I do and I don't. I'm in my 30s and yet I look to be in my early 20s (according to everyone). The trouble with the law is it's a murky area, the age of consent is an idiotic concept based on nothing concrete, empirical or scientific. Furthermore it varies wildly, from 12 in the Philippines to the 20s in some Islamic countries. In most of Europe it's 14-15 which seems sensible.

Like yourself, my attraction isn't limited to just their looks but also personality. I'm not attracted to immature youth any more than I am to immature adults for friendship. I suppose I like the carefree aspects of their personality, and the way they carry themselves unselfconsciously.

Do you not appreciate a backside just for the way it looks? For example, I like a voluptuous behind which can be fun to pet and stroke while I would not wish to stick anything in it. I also appreciate a nice pair of hands or feet but they're not objects of sexual desire, I have no fetish.

What sort of category would I fit in? I suppose all "right" thinking people would consider me a monster and paedophile lol.
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« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2014, 04:56:24 pm »

I don't see there being a problem with your sexuality. As you said age of consent is an idiotic concept however by proxy so are many other laws but that doesn't mean we should not observe them. I don't suppose your display name is just a coincidence regards your views on this subject Smiley

The question of age is not normally considered in these kinds of questions though is it. You either like boys or you like girls and there is purely no shade of Grey in between normally. Heaven forbid you should be bisexual, and accused of just not being able to pick a team. People just can't fathom that kind of anarchy. How dare you not fit the labels we have made you. Now we will need to create another one just for you.

As for the buttock side of thing yes I can find them pleasing to look at on a perfect specimen but they are few and far between, and they do not instill in me any feeling of lust. Only a sort of...appreciation for the human form I suppose. Like a peck or forearm or something. I don't want to rub my penis necessarily on those parts of a person but as part of a package it can create an effect in me that makes me appreciate what I see if nothing else.
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« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2014, 12:27:18 am »

I consider myself gay. In my early teen years 14-17 I considered myself straight until I started to get different feelings and urges that I had never had before.
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« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2014, 01:28:16 am »

I think sexuality is a difficult thing to just slip into small box with a tag attached to it. When asked what's my sexuality I immediately say gay, that doesn't necessarily mean that I regard myself as 100% gay.

At present I do have on the very odd occasion some attraction to females, but even then I cannot imagine myself actually being physically and emotionally attached to a woman. I can see what men see in some women and I can understand why men are aroused by them physically, but I can only go so far before i hit a wall. I remember spending almost all my teenage years trying to break down that wall and I only succeeded 5-6 times, and that did not include my failed relationship with my first girlfriend. It frustrated me because I knew since I was 8-9 that girls wasn't my thing.

As time progressed I gradually accepted the way things were, but then.. when I was about 23 I remember seeing a woman sitting next to me and it was the first time in my life I felt sexually turned on. It confused the hell out of me cuz I felt like I fought so hard for this and never got it and when I was comfortable I discovered bisexual urges. I decided to grab some straight porn, cuz it was my only outlet as I was in a steady relationship at the time and it was surprising how I was able to get very far, but on each count I had to revert to gay porn to finish myself off cuz I would hit another wall.

This lasted for almost 6-7 months and since then I am back to where I started. I do notice attractive women now, but the sexual feelings are detached.

I would regard myself as bi, but my feelings lasted for a small phase and who knows it may return again, but for now I make it simple for everyone and just say am gay as it's been the most dominant feeling so far in my life.
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« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2014, 11:05:36 pm »

Firmly, definitely, deeply, faithfully 100% GAY.
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« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2014, 05:39:14 am »

MrE .... I think you and I interacted briefly in my thread about "pretty twinks" and Frank Wolf. I can't believe I missed this thread of yours, because it speaks to me!

Look at my avatar, and I think you'll have the answer about me. I do hate labels ... for a long time, I felt uneasy about revealing what I really am to either gay or straight people, because the few times I had tried when I was young and naive (and believe me, I've had a difficult time "choosing" a gender to be attracted to since my very first grade school crushes) ... I always met with confusion, resistance, and even (especially in the gay community) outright hostility. I eventually learned that most gay people (and a lot of straight people) have known at least one guy that at one point used the "bisexual" label as a sort of stepping stone on their personal path of coming to identify as 100% gay. Unfortunately, it has also been my experience that this fact has lead a lot of people to draw blanket conclusions and assume that any male that claims an attraction to both sexes is "lying" or "in denial."  I mean, we've all heard of that biased, bogus study that "PROVED" that there was no such thing as a bisexual man, right?

I actually just now tried to find an old Family Guy joke I remembered, where some random character desperately tried to assert that there was a big difference between a "gay" guy and a bisexual guy. I couldn't find it ... but it always did speak to me. I know that kind of desperation. There's a kind of identity crisis that people with a strong enough preference to pick a side can never understand, when it comes to that. They rarely have to face accusations that they don't even exist.  afraid

As I got into my late twenties, I started to realize that even "bisexual" was a label created by a society that obsessed with putting people into little, neat, categorical boxes. I'm very much with you -- I like a person, not a gender. I do like different things in men and women on a superficial level, and I imagine different things with them sexually when I fantasize, and have done different things with them when I've been with them ... but all the same, I can work in that range and find myself pretty open to adapting.

My sexuality is absolutely fluid. I've only realized this very recently, within the last couple of years or so, because I was also obsessed with finding the best label to put on myself. At the end of the day, though, as I fluxuated between attractions to someone of on one gender, then someone from the opposite ... I realized that I was nothing more than a completely blank slate. I tend to be most attracted to whatever gender that represents *THE PERSON* that I'm most attracted to in that point in my life. We all have these little mini-crushes that mean little, I think ... but in my singleness, they can actually influence the kind of stuff I jerk off to. ;-)

I like a person first ... and of course, like any man, I like sex ... but the details of the *kind* of sex to have with that person generally follows my attraction to the person. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I feel.  Smiley

I've found that many people are surprised to learn that all of that fluidity doesn't necessarily mean that I want to fuck around with anything and everything. My ideal of a "good" relationship is monogamy. I'm a romantic softy! It's just that I want the human being, not necessarily the details of how we fit together physically ... and as I can find both genders beautiful, it's pretty easy for me to adapt my sexual role to fit.

I generally like to see myself in a dominant, masculine role at least 70-80% of the time, though, male or female partner. I'd be curious to know how many men there are out there like myself and MrE ... I think there are for more than will admit it. Society's pressure to "pick a side" has claimed so many of us. :-(
« Last Edit: May 22, 2014, 05:59:06 am by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2014, 07:50:02 am »

Emotional attachments aren't the same as sexual attraction.

I could be emotionally attached to a woman, but I couldn't see my self eating her vag.
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« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2014, 07:40:45 pm »

I identify as "gay", but I see that as a "verbal shorthand" primarily.  It tells other guys that if they want to cruise me I won't react with hostility.  I hope that it tells women that if they're interested in a physical relationship with me (how I flatter myself here!) that it's pretty unlikely, but not impossible.  There have been and very occasionally are "special cases"...  Wink  As an aside, I agree with previous comments about some people being too eager to "classify" others into overly simplistic categories that fail to allow for all the complexities and nuances of the human condition.  The binary logic of gay/straight, yes/no, 1/0 is simple.  Multiple dimensions all consisting of shades of grey are harder to work with but I think they're usually more accurately descriptive when dealing with life.

I also agree with the previous poster who found sexual attraction to be different and separate to emotional attachment or bonding.  For me, I think this has to do with my upbringing which taught that 'sex' was base and low and dirty while 'love' was pure and spiritual and beautiful.  I don't actually believe in those categorizations (any more) but sex for me is still something qualitatively different from love and friendship.  I find that it's rare to meet someone with whom I have both a good emotional connection and a good sexual connection.  It seems that the emotional connections (usually friendships) last, but the sexual interest lessens over time. 
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« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2014, 07:47:35 pm »

I don't know what the hell I like but I know I am not 100% straight.
I just know that not being out of the closet while not making a big deal out of it at the same time is the best carefree way to live with it.
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« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2014, 11:14:37 pm »

I don't think the biggest problem is the naming of things, but more how people see it. When you say gay, straight, bissexual, people think only about the sex thing, but it's not like that. Of course sex is involved, but it's also about the emotional aspect. I consider someone gay if he has both sexual and emotional attraction.

But human mind is really complex, and it's hard to categorize, so there are many people who believes that they don't fit in any of those Oo. And about the free spirit thing, to me it's bisexuality. You think that only because you're not into the sex, you're not bisexual, because you believe it's only related to sex. Although relationships start mostly based on appearance, they always evolve into personality itself. So basically, I think real bisexual people search for someone that makes them happy, not only for sex. Like everybody else.

But to me when you take sex away, it becomes like a regular friendship. Sex is one of the most basic human instinct, and it is needed. So most people need sex, and that's why it's categorized like that.

And answering your question, I always considered myself gay (starting on my puberty of course Oo), but took me some time to accept it. I actually have some emotion attachment to some women, but it's nothing compared to what I feel about men, with men it's not only the emotion attachment, but the physical attachment too. And also I think I would never be able to date a women, our minds are so different, I see straight couples fighting all the time about the most stupid things, I wouldn't be able to handle this kind of relationship, hehehe.

And to me I have no age requirement, I really don't care, as long as I like the guy. And contrary to some answers, I more into bears. I have no attraction at all to slimmer guys, with hairless bodies, it's easier to me to feel attraction for a women than a guy like that Oo. So yes, I really into appearances. If I don't feel any sexual attraction, to me is just simple friendship. To consider it a real emotional attachment, it must have some physical attraction.

Yes human mind is extremely complex, I can't explain why I like that kind of men, or why sometimes I have emotional attachment with women, although I would never have a relationship with them Oo.
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« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2014, 04:20:45 pm »

I think a lot of people don't realize that who you fall in love with might not be the same gender as who you want to have sex with, which also may be different from who you like in your porn.
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« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2017, 11:33:33 am »

Bi 'til I die! Cheers
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« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2017, 12:52:06 pm »

I chose gay. By and large, that is accurate in every way. But I've never been very sexually motivated in the first place, so it does not seem inconceivable that I could potentially fall in love with and have physical relations with someone of the opposite sex. The way I look at it, sex can either be merely a form of glorified masturbation, or something totally transcendent that people with a profoundly deep, indelible bond can communicate "spiritually" through. That's not to say that sex is ever absolutely one or the other, but real (read: consensual) sex always exists on a continuum somewhere between the two.

While I don't see myself ever getting that close to a woman or someone transitioning MtF, FtM or somewhere in between, I certainly don't consider it out of the question. I do believe in my own capacity for love/interconnection that goes beyond gender and corporeal presentations. I just think it's much more likely to happen with another man because I naturally default to my physical/romantic predilection for men before ever getting very emotionally invested in people as individuals.
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