The Gay Kama Sutra: Positions to improve your sex life
When I was 18, I met an older man and fell in love. I was completely besotted by his charm and elegance, his ability to understand things about me that I had never even considered and of course, the security that he provided. One thing that was never really an issue for me was his lack of sex drive. In seven years, we had sex only a handful of times and until we parted ways I had no clue what I was missing out on.
At 25, I was one of the most sexually inexperienced gay men on the scene in London. Terrified by anal sex and completely clueless when faced with a naked man, I lumbered through sexual encounters like a moose on skates. I laugh about it now but I was generally terrified by gay sex. After a while I realised that I would have to either talk to my friends about it or educate myself. So after much deliberation and embarrassment I pulled out my laptop and began to watch all kinds of porn. This is when I realised how insane and amazing sex between two men can be.
It wasn’t long before I came across the Gay Kama Sutra by Terry Sanderson which put all of this new found knowledge in perspective for me. While the Kama Sutra advocates the uninhibited enjoyment of the pleasures of the flesh, it also tries to help us understand a higher purpose for those pleasures. I’m not sure how lofty Terry Sanderson’s ambitions were in his remodelled Kama Sutra but I do know that my sex life improved, or at least the awkwardness and failed attempts began to fizzle out.
Whether you are in a long-term partnership, an open relationship, or are enjoying a life of sexual freedom, here is some invaluable information on various positions that can help create a healthy, happy and satisfying sex life.Doggy Style
OK, so this one isn’t rocket science and even as a teenager I could pull this off. The receiving partner crouches on his elbows and knees, the penetrating one kneels behind him – you get the gist? Kissing in this position is a bitch but it gets the job done.The Butterfly
This one is complicated to explain. The top partner kneels and clasps the other to himself; the bottom one should embrace him like a butterfly. The ‘butterfly’ partner has to lean on his own legs and hold on with his hands. The ‘butterfly’ receiving partner is now the leading one, he can control the pace, while the knelt penetrating partner has to lean back on his arms.Two Columns
To enjoy this position, the lovers should have their buttocks on roughly the same level. They may be different in height – so the passive partner should raise or lower themselves to the level of the active one; he should interlace his legs with his partner’s and stand on his own feet to make the position more stable. Kissing in this position can be complicated but it’s worth a try.The Small Lock
The receiving partner is lying on his stomach. His buttocks are raised a little with a pillow. The top lover is lying on the receiving one. Some pairs prefer to change places after the upper top partner has his orgasm. In this case the receiving lover becomes the penetrating one, but the position itself is the same.A Column and Ivy
This position means that the lovers stand face to face; the passive partner should lift his legs and wrap them around the other’s hips. It’s better if the bottom partner is much smaller and lighter than the top one, unless the top is particularly strong! The top partner can clasp the other to his breast or move him back.Face to Face
This is an ‘open’ position and one of my favourites. The bottom partner is lying on his back, with his hips spread and knees bent; his lower back is raised with a pillow. This position is the best for both kissing and other more intimate caresses. If you don’t like the person you’re sleeping with then best to stick to ‘doggy’.The Folded Position
In the ‘face to face’ position, the bottom lover should bend his legs until his knees touch his chin.Sitting
This can take place when the penetrating partner is sitting on a chair or stool. His lover rides him, resting his own feet on the floor. The position may be more steady if the chair back is leant against the wall. This can be varied if the passive partner half stands so that they can control the speed and friction.Side Doggy/Missionary
AKA ‘the lazy morning sex’ position. After penetration, the penetrating partner can reach around to stimulate the passive partner and ensure simultaneous orgasm for both lovers. If both men have interlaced their legs, the position should be referred to as ‘the clenched’ one.On Top
The inserting partner is lying under the receiving lover who should bend his legs at the knees and place himself across his lover. Both lovers may also lie in something like the 69 position, holding each other’s leg calves for the necessary rest.A Crab
This one is a little complicated. The active lover is lying on the floor on his back. The passive lover is lying on the active one on his back. The active partner penetrates the passive partner. After this they should simultaneously raise themselves, resting on their arms and legs. This position is the best one to stimulate the receiving lover’s prostate. But it may be rather difficult to perform frictions because the upper partner is virtually hanging over the other.
For many many more ideas – try porn – it worked for me! and what about you??