Is it possible to have an open relationship that's absolutely honest?
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Author Topic: Is it possible to have an open relationship that's absolutely honest?  (Read 22094 times)
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« on: May 20, 2015, 07:18:15 pm »

I'm thinking Frank Underwood here. Can you sleep with multiple people and at the end of the day share your experience with your significant other and still have a strong relationship?
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« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2015, 04:16:59 pm »

sure. love is different than sex
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« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2015, 04:23:56 pm »


Anything is possible.
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« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2015, 05:36:58 pm »

Yep. Honestly has nothing to do with the type of relationship you're in.
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« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2015, 09:22:23 am »

Yep, absolutely. At least in theory.

I think most people would rather not share their open relationship experiences with their partners, though.
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« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2015, 09:37:22 am »

I know people in open relationships and they never talk about their "outside" lives with each other.
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« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2015, 09:25:13 pm »

It's possible to have an absolutely honest and open dialogue about what each partner does outside a relationship, but I think that is not as common as the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" approach usually used.

If you are with your partner because you are both kinky and love having adventurous, on the edge type sex, does either really want to know the intimate details of what the other is doing with an outside person or people?  How would you react if he said, "We can't have sex tonight. I'm still sore from the 20 man orgy I went to last night." (I didn't react too well when I heard this, lol.)

Being totally open and honest works for some couples.  For them, it is a way to allow them to stay together, while not forcing either party to give up anything they felt they need that they simply can't get from their partner.  I have experience in that scenario.  I have always been involved with kinky sex, but I was in a 7 year relationship with a decidedly vanilla, middle of the road type guy.  We were perfect for one another in every other aspect except our outlook on sex.  Rather than rule things out completely, we gave it a shot. He granted me my freedom to do what I like, and he would do the same, but if we did anything, we shared all the details with one another.

That was how he realized that what I liked didn't necessarily involve sex at all - more things like power, control, submission, domination, role play, and head games.  Sometimes I even invited him to come witness what I did. It took a while, maybe 5 years into our relationship, but he came around to wanting to try things with me - especially bondage.  Shortly after that, I had him begging me to tie him up, so he could be "allowed" to hear my stories.

In my case, being absolutely honest brought us to place we probably never would have gotten otherwise.

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Have you serviced your Dom today?
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« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2015, 09:48:23 pm »

It all depends on the couple. If it's a mutual situation and it has been discussed and agreed than the couple could make it work against themselves.
But in my life, relashionships are made of two faithful people. :p
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« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2015, 12:58:05 am »

Open and honest is one factor that's important.

But I think what's often overlooked is emotional and communicational skills. Which most most don't have. This is an extremely complicated arrangement because of the values we are brought up with and just being human.
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« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2015, 11:24:22 am »

It's....possible.

I am going to assume here that 'honest' here is in regards to the relationship and the 'big issues' and not necessarily..uh, everything. Because even monogamous partnerships have small things they don't talk to their partners about. (although yes, some small things can pile up into huge unstoppable things)

From outside looking in, I can see that the chance are probably smaller just because of maths (it's harder to communicate effectively and intimately between 3 or more people as opposed to 2; not to mention the dynamics of each participants).

You also need not just you and your partner but the rest of the participants to be open and honest not just with you but with each other.

And when there is a need or desire that is addressed, the entire party also needs to be open, honest, but also good at communication, compromises, and conflict resolution.

And again, given that it's 3 or more participants, it's probably going to be harder than the typical monogamous relationship (though even this has its liars and cheaters, yes?)

But it's possible.
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« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2015, 08:20:26 am »

Totally, better than cheating
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« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2015, 09:25:24 am »

I think it really depends on a persons mindset, views on sex and desire for monogamy.
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« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2015, 09:01:26 pm »

Honestly, I've never seen it work long term. I've known MANY couples in an "open relationship" where one of them find someone else from their "NSA trysts".

One thing for sure, if you want any relationship to work, you both must be on the same page when it comes to monogamy. If either is making a "compromise" here, the relationship is doomed.

If one really wants an open relationship, but compromises because of their desire to be with the other, he will eventually become resentful and unhappy and this festering will cause the relationship blows up.

If one wants to be with someone so badly that they swallow hard and accept an open relation, it is only a matter of time before what I think is a "natural" jealousy kicks in and things blow up. This person is the one more likely to find someone new, someone who shares his values.
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« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2015, 10:25:16 pm »

In my opinion, an "open relationship" where you do not talk about each other's adventures is simply a closed relationship where the cheating is assumed and ignored. A long-term relationship is based on communication - if you are not communicating about something this significant, I cannot see the relationship being deep, committed and long lasting. Just my perspective.
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« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2015, 01:24:58 am »

you both have to be 100% on the same page for this to happen otherwise I think it's just allowed cheating (and feelings are still getting hurt they're just hidden).

In my experience more often than not when you scratch the surface of an "open relationship" it's usually one partner wanting it more than the other, or doing it more than the other and the other one more going along with it.
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« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2015, 03:30:37 am »

My boyfriend and I are in one right now. We were monogamous for about 2 years when we decided to try an open relationship. We've been in an open relationship since around february.

The only conditions we had was that we wanted to know where and when it was happening, if we met other people. Mostly for security reasons than anything. You can never be too safe you know?

In all that time though, I have received 2 blowjobs and he went and sucked one dick. We discovered pretty fast that any sexual interactions with other people just weren't enjoyable. We're one of those couples that like to be alone together. You know? We're pretty introverted, our social groups are small, and sex just isnt our priority.

We still consider ours an open relationship, but neither of us use it. We're still very open to threesomes though and are currently looking for a sexy (american) football player to have some fun with. I guess only time will tell though.
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« Reply #16 on: November 16, 2015, 05:01:05 am »

It's possible if you're very honest and willing to be hurt a few times. It can be very rewarding too - but most people just can't manage it.
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« Reply #17 on: November 27, 2015, 03:26:27 pm »

It's possible if you're very honest and willing to be hurt a few times. It can be very rewarding too - but most people just can't manage it.
Totally agree....
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« Reply #18 on: March 23, 2016, 03:12:37 am »

I think that not only the gay community but people in general need to stop thinking that sex is bad. In a relationship you can have sex with other people as long as you are open and honest and don't get "love" or "faithful" into it. Why are we hung up on that issue? We all would be happier if we understood that the partner we are with is ours in every way and yet both can go have sex with others. So much less heartache and problems
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« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2016, 02:40:28 pm »

Yes, it's possible. Me and my bf are in an open RS, it took a while to adjust... At first, we kind of get crazy, having sex with lots of other guys, then we reduced it slowly to avoid hurting each other...
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