Should i come out to my office colleagues ?
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« on: August 02, 2015, 12:54:23 pm »

Hello All

I work in India where homosexuality is still criminalized and social stigma against homosexuals is still prevalent.. Many people are still not aware on what LGBT issues are and they don't even know what it is like to be a Gay/Lesbian.. I feel coming out at work place might be a good idea as people may begin to understand and "see" someone they know as a homosexual... but i am also concerned about my career, promotions etc.

what you think ? Should i come out at workplace ?
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« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2015, 05:09:05 pm »

I think it's great that you're considering coming out to help present a human face on sexual minorities! This is a big decision; you could get higher quality advice if you gave us more information on your situation (especially since it's hard for those of us not in India to imagine accurately what life is like there for gays): what field do you work in, how secure is your position, where in India are you, what are your colleagues' mind sets regarding social issues, how close are you to your colleagues, are you already out to your family and friends, do you have a support group, what is your fallout plan if things go sour at your workplace or you get fired?

My shallow advice would be to gauge the mood of your office carefully---will coming our make your situation miserable and subject you to bigotry indefinitely, or do you think even if your coworkers' minds are not immediately changed, they will retain a professional respectfulness toward you?---, come out to everyone else in your life first, verify that you're in a safe enough region that you are not likely to be attacked if it becomes commonly known outside of your workplace that you're gay, and be prepared in the worst case to switch jobs or fields and maybe relocate. If you can't get a handle on all of these issues first, don't come out. Safety first!
« Last Edit: August 02, 2015, 05:12:49 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2015, 05:58:27 am »

I do not know what it is like to be gay in India, however the best advice I can give is gauging what your coworkers think about homosexuality. Even if the environment may not be accommodating to homosexuals, your work place might. If it is not a risk, you can bring up things that can be easily inserted in a normal conversation like asking what they think of the equal marriage that was legalized in the US. Try to see how they react, also depending on how they react, try to see if you can placate them. Say for example, they reacted horribly, try convincing them otherwise by saying other things. Simply it is just testing the waters. It'll at least give you an idea of how they will react. I live in Canada and when I liked this guy, I got to know him better, and a year later I just told him was bi (better than coming forth about being gay) since in their minds, being bi is safer than being gay. Anyways then I brought up this conversation me and my friend that we were bored and made this bet about whether me or her will end up marrying the better looking guy. He responded by laughing and saying that he would try and land the hottest girl. I found out that he was straight that day and just moved on.

Fair warning though, things don't always go to plan, so it's best to weigh your costs and the benefits.
For me, coming out to my parents is going to get me kicked out. So I'm just keeping it a secret until I can financially live by myself.
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« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2015, 07:59:24 am »

yes
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« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2015, 01:39:20 pm »

no... workplace is a professional scene and not a personal one
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« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2015, 11:04:15 pm »

I think you just have to considered whether or not telling them is worth any risks you might encounter. If you are suffering in any way because of their not knowing, and that suffering is greater than it would be with them knowing, tell them. If not, don't.
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« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2015, 11:29:04 am »

If you are looking to go further in this company then I would say do not do this.  If you are close with people in your office and share that connection that friends do, I may only tell them.  Until this issue is resolve in your country, you could be playing a dangerous game.  I do not live in your country so I really can not speak about your situation.  Do you have a LGBT club, group or something that you can talk to someone there that is more know more about your country and the policies?  If you want to make a stand do it with these group where things may be a little safer for you, not saying this is 100% safe either.  There are other ways of talking about LGBT issues without coming out and hurting your life.  You need your job at the present time, for you have bills to pay and need to eat too.
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« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2015, 12:25:07 pm »

No? but if your already obvious.... then.... You might not know it but they might know already and their just waiting for u to tell them straight yourself.
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