Do you tell new friends your gay right away or wait?
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Author Topic: Do you tell new friends your gay right away or wait?  (Read 28204 times)
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« on: October 24, 2015, 01:48:03 am »

I usually tell people up front
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« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2015, 12:09:57 pm »

I wait because in our coutry the people are highly against gays.So thats why i am carefull
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« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2015, 01:57:00 pm »

I tell them if it comes up or asking about why i don't go crazy about girls, so i don't lie about it and also don't advertise it Wink
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« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2015, 02:55:11 pm »

I don't ever bring it up. It's not that I'm ashamed of being gay, I just don't like the idea of bringing unnecessary attention to the fact. I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea that it may come to "define" me if I choose to discuss it without being prompted to, because I don't think my being gay should warrant any more attention than someone else's being straight does.

I don't have a problem telling people I'm gay if they ask, and I've dropped hints about it without directly saying I'm gay many times. It's not a secret any more than it is a celebration with me, it just "is".

Still, I do think people knowing off the bat would go a long way in avoiding any possible confusion or misunderstandings down the road.
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« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2015, 05:13:24 pm »

i think we should wait.. take one step at a time...we may never know how tolerant he is towards being gay..
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« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2016, 03:05:16 am »

Never, who knows if he will be your friend forever.
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« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2016, 09:36:13 am »

I'll wait. Since I live in a country where there is only a very few people who tolerate people like us, I have to be really careful when it comes about coming out. I need to really know and trust them very much then I can decide whether I want to tell them or not.
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« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2016, 09:06:09 pm »

I live in London so culture isn't too much of an issue.

But I would always wait.  To be honest I would only ever want to bring it up to someone that I felt close enough to have a discusssion about sex with. Otherwise it's irrelevant.

I usually get asked though (which I really prefer people wouldn't do).
 
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« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2016, 10:27:29 pm »

I usually wait
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« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2016, 09:54:22 am »

i think its easier to tell them when youve known them for a long time, as for new friends i prefer to wait and get a grip on their feelings about it first
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« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2016, 11:24:55 am »

Well I definitely don't immediately tell people I'm gay when I introduce myself.  Since I fit a few stereotypes I don't usually have to tell people, but if I don't tell them at some point I have to deal with that stupid game of them subtly trying to get me to bring it up.  I take the first opportunity to come out to people just to get it over with, like when they ask if I'm dating any women, or if a thing a girl is hot, or I drop the name of a known gay bar when talking about clubs and bars.  I don't like investing time in relationships with people who will have an issue with my sexuality so that's why I think it's best to get it out of the way as soon as possible. 

In professional situations, I will probably never mention my sexuality unless there's some kind of workplace diversity activity taking place or if my not saying I'm gay would lead to a lie including lies of omission.  I live in the United States and the state I live in has laws in place that prohibit workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation so I'm never worried about how it would impact my job, I just don't think it's professional to discuss these topics unless it's somehow work related.
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« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2016, 03:39:07 pm »

I wait because in our coutry the people are highly against gays.So thats why i am carefull

it definately depends on which country youre from i agree
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« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2016, 03:18:00 am »

I test the waters and wait. First I need to test the kind of person they are - as in if they'll 'out' me just because they're that kind of douche, and if they're naturally opposed to it or not. I won't be fake if they're homophobic, I'll just cut them out and go on going on!
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1982 - 2013
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« Reply #13 on: April 29, 2016, 09:37:48 pm »

Wait a long time...
If her/his mentality matches mine, then only I tell them about myself.
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« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2016, 10:38:22 am »

you dont necessarily have to tell them, just drop hints and they'll get it nowadays
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« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2016, 07:31:19 pm »

You can never really know what another person is thinking. If they cannot accept you for who you are then they are hardly your friends. I wouldn't do it because I don't want my individual identity to be lost inside a label.
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« Reply #16 on: June 27, 2016, 12:00:49 am »

I think its best to wait because you don't really know the person really well
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« Reply #17 on: June 27, 2016, 12:40:00 am »

if i don't see any specific reason to tell it i won't, if they ask i'll answer.

in my book it's a bit like religion or vegans, no need to shove it into people's face, no need to hide it
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« Reply #18 on: July 02, 2016, 07:33:31 pm »

I wait until the ask.
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« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2016, 08:58:20 pm »

Don't ask, don't tell. Simple.
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