Why men are more homophobic than woman?
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Author Topic: Why men are more homophobic than woman?  (Read 1678 times)
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« on: November 11, 2015, 09:35:23 am »

I just want to ask why?
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« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2015, 12:46:31 pm »

I think it probably has something to do with lack of being threatened, at least in respect to gay men.  Women aren't threatened sexually, because a gay man won't invade their space, and a gay man also isn't competition (in most cases XD).  As far as other women...in society women are allowed and encouraged to be closer both emotionally and physically to each other from a very young age--I think it is part of what is considered being feminine.  And then, in straight man land, girl on girl homoerotica is encouraged, so again, straight women are less uncomfortable with it because it's a way to get men's attention, even if they aren't into other girls. Basically, it doesn't threaten their femininity to be close to women. They can do it and still feel feminine.

Men are more uncomfortable with gay men because their masculinity is threatened by another man being too physical or affectionate with them.  Somehow, being gay means being "less masculine", the way mainstream society sees it, but this seems to be changing more or less, as far as I can see.  After all, I've met and seen many butch gay men who are so manly they'd make most straight guys feel like little girls XD.
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« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2015, 01:33:19 pm »

It's because men generally don't know what it's like to take it in the ass…  afraid

And their greatest fear (I mean the homophobic ones) is to discover that they might enjoy it!
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« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2016, 09:43:40 am »

I think it probably has something to do with lack of being threatened, at least in respect to gay men.  Women aren't threatened sexually, because a gay man won't invade their space, and a gay man also isn't competition (in most cases XD).  As far as other women...in society women are allowed and encouraged to be closer both emotionally and physically to each other from a very young age--I think it is part of what is considered being feminine.  And then, in straight man land, girl on girl homoerotica is encouraged, so again, straight women are less uncomfortable with it because it's a way to get men's attention, even if they aren't into other girls. Basically, it doesn't threaten their femininity to be close to women. They can do it and still feel feminine.

Men are more uncomfortable with gay men because their masculinity is threatened by another man being too physical or affectionate with them.  Somehow, being gay means being "less masculine", the way mainstream society sees it, but this seems to be changing more or less, as far as I can see.  After all, I've met and seen many butch gay men who are so manly they'd make most straight guys feel like little girls XD.
Pretty much. Sometimes I think it isn't that girls are allowed to be affectionate to their fellow girls but still considered as best friends, while men, even at a slightest friendly gesture to other men, may be considered gay Lips Sealed

And as of homophobic, in addition to that, I think it's because gays, as in the term suggested, has preferences of both sexually and emotionally to men, somehow, they fear that gays may be attracted to them and seek to 'rape' them in any way. That's kinda shallow mind, but most people, including some of my straight guy friends (who don't know that I'm into men) are pretty homophobic because they think that gays will seduce them. I guess they assume that gays only want sex, willingfully or forcefully...
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« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2016, 09:53:31 pm »

Well... most of the straight men think girl are always ready to open their legs for them, so they only apply their approach to other men... and if these men are gay they are afraid of that...

However I think it's all about being bully... a feminine gay man is someone we can say is weak, less man than a straight one, so "nothing wrong" about being a jerk with him... he chose to be like this and deserve that. A manly gay is seen as a thread for the reasons just said, so they are acting in the same way all animals act, if you can't run, you attack, better if two or three against one alone.

PS. Women too do this all time, only not on sexual matters, so it appears they are better than men... they are worse in general: men love to show, mostly, but to act they need to be crazy or drunk, women don't use violence, but can ruin you if they want and you find out only when is too late... simply on sexual orientation they are more open.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 10:00:17 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2016, 03:38:34 am »

I think is mostly because in patriarchal society male qualities are overly honored to the point of exacerbation.

Men are supposed and encouraged to act in a way that encompasses what the society defines as 'masculine'.  Any deviation from the norm is met with disgust.

Men are supposed to be strong,  competitive, macho and sexually agressive (both in conduct and sexual role).  Women are encouraged to be more 'passive'.  So a gay man is seen as 'passive', 'woman-like' and other bunch of sense-less stuff, since there can be gay men that are ultra masculine and straight men who can act girly (yeah, the ones that mess up our gaydars)

There's also the belief that homophobia is the result of the inability to cope with one's own homosexual desires and inquiries, transfering the self hate to others.  Keep in mind that heterosexual men are more constrained emotionally and sexually.  They can't afford to come close emotionally to another male (even among straight friends) and he can only be 'sexually adventurous' as long as it doesn't defy the strict heterosexual macho role of penetration.

Examples: threesome fantasies must be woman-male-woman (for both straight males AND females -see the patriarchal vibe on that?), any form of penetration must be done by them (there's a reason why 'pegging' is seen more of a fetish than a normal sexual option).

So basically, they purge any type of same-sex curiosity unconciously.  The fear of gay men 'seducing them' is but the manifestation of their repressed desire to try sex with another man.  Look at society's stance toward females: they are allowed to experiment with members of their same gender, and some men will be turned on by a woman who admits even a tiny lesbian experience.  If a man dares to say he had experimented or is curious about sex with another man he's met with glances of disapproval.  Do women are afraid of lesbians assaulting them sexually? No. (Well, maybe the most backwater, repressed and ignorant straight females are) A woman is more freely to experiment their sexual curiosity without a big backlash from society.  They are allowed to dispel any doubts about their sexual orientation, wether a male must always think of possible consequences.

Women are more tolerant towards homosexuality because they don't see gay men as sexual predators and we allow more emotional connections with them than our straight counterparts (and emotional connection is very treasured by females, of any sexual orientation), they don't fear lesbians because they don't have the same taboos or role expectations as straight men.


While I might (once in a blue moon) feel (very little) pity towards some homophobes, that doesn't condone heinous behaviors and acts toward LGBT people.  Hurting others (physically, mentally or emotionally) because you cannot cope with your own issues is disgusting, no matter through what glass you see it.


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« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2016, 09:01:48 pm »

Hmm
I'm not conviced they actually are.

I think they may appear more obvious about it. Though most of that is just machismo (in my opinion). By violently rejecting homosexuality they are confirming to the figurative audience (and themselves) how much of a man they are.

Tbh I often find myself uncomfortabe around straight guys. Everything feels like an act. Compare a guys behaviour amongst fellow "lads" against what the are like with a girlfriend. Ther is usually a stark difference. I am usually friends with this same girlfriend and she wil hand on heart say that she knows the "real" him.  To me that is just creepy.

I am usually only friends with heterosexual guys where I don't get a sense of acting.
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« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2017, 09:15:08 am »

The male ego is the weakest force on the planet.
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« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2017, 11:22:23 am »

Tbh I often find myself uncomfortabe around straight guys. Everything feels like an act. Compare a guys behaviour amongst fellow "lads" against what the are like with a girlfriend. Ther is usually a stark difference. I am usually friends with this same girlfriend and she wil hand on heart say that she knows the "real" him.  To me that is just creepy.

I am usually only friends with heterosexual guys where I don't get a sense of acting.
I also feel uneasy around people (regardless of gender/orientation) who act differently depending on their surroundings or who they're with. They don't seem like genuine or trustworthy individuals. Not to mention, macho posturing to compensate for how boring, weak or domesticated one is in reality is just obnoxious. Even unhealthy at certain extremes. But I think cases of men "acting out" is more a reaction to the dichotomy between professionalism/maintaining social standing and the desire of most men to feel/exude self-determination and independent strength. It's a dichotomy rooted more in class, culture and upbringing/gender roles (which is a whole other can of worms I'm not about to dive into here) than in orientation.

The male ego is the weakest force on the planet.
'Kay...
« Last Edit: February 15, 2017, 12:09:20 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2017, 05:47:36 pm »

I don't believe it's true. I've meet plenty of straight men who are nice about it as long as you don't hit on them (which I don't).

But women are vile about it because they're vile and self centered in general. I've never seen it where it is on television where women love the gays. Most hate I get is from women. If I'm friends with one of their husbands, boyfriends or even their brothers I get a lot of hate. The woman I work with...I hate 90% of them. The women in my family are hateful. Both my parents are homophobic but particularly my mother...my dad is less hateful about it. My mother thinks if a guy wears a purple shirt he's a faggot and will tell him so. When I was in high school my parents used to rag a straight friend of mine because he wore purple pants.

I've had straight male friends who are supportive. But I've never met a kind woman where I live. I had a black female friend who more or less implied she knew I was gay but couldn't be friends with me if I was open about it. Kinda hurt.
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« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2017, 06:59:53 pm »

I think porn plays a role.  Girl on girl action is porn is considered straight porn.  Two guys getting it on automatically puts it in the gay or bi category.
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« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2017, 11:01:24 pm »

Myself speaking, I think many of it has to do with the fact the male unit is supposed to shun anything and everything feminine, unmanly, womanly, etc.

Homosexuals fall under this category. Whether the gay man is butch or feminine, he still falls under this category and this disrupts the male unit and the male code sadly. I don't make the rules, I just observe and try to not find ways to bend them, but work around them so everyone is happy.

I will say guys are more homophobic to the feminine ones. The butch and masculine gay guys get the, "Well whatever, he's gay but he's still one of the guys."

The feminine gay guys most typically get, "fags, queers, don't do anything gay around me.".

I guess guys feel more scared and intimidated by more masculine gay men, and guys feel feminine or queen/flamboyant gay men are going to try to seduce them or something. Which I can't nessarily disagree on.

Men usually don't want to be sexually infatuated by other men. That includes gay men. It's just the way it is.

Reason why many transgender women don't reveal themselves right off the bat. Yes she's a woman and lives as a woman, but to other men, she is seen as another man and it's sad.

Which is why I typically don't mess with straight men that often as a more feminine queen gay guy. I know they are uncomfortable around me and that's fine.

As far as whether or not guys are homophobic to hide internalized homophobia or fear, that's another topic.
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« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2017, 11:15:40 pm »

This is easy.

The thought of having intimate morese romantic relationship with another man, has been deemed as 'not masculine'. And we men, has a natural tendency to show PRIDE and bravado in front of others. A way to prove and signify that we are the stronger gender when compared to women (although that's scientifically not the case, because women have more endurance and etc). That's why any men would naturally develop signs of resistance when they are dealing with the homosexual concept. Thanks to the help of generations of misconception planted by parents, of course.

Another major reason, is none other than FEAR. Most men might try to hide it, or it might not obviously shown through their expression nor body language, but in their hearts they are actually afraid to eventually discover that... yes, they MIGHT be homosexual too. They've developed fear that they might ENJOY doing sexual intercourse with the same gender. Which is mind you, a FACT and not a simple exaggeration on my part. I've met some men who realized this and what they truly want/desire after giving it a taste. EVERY single man (and woman, for the record) is born with the tendency to like/love another man at a deeper emotional level. That's why the term man-crush and bromance exist. It's actually a biological nature. To put it simple, they hate homosexuals, because they are afraid to discover themselves as one.

   
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« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2017, 12:57:26 am »

This is easy.

The thought of having intimate morese romantic relationship with another man, has been deemed as 'not masculine'.
   

I don't even understand this.  Isn't hanging out with a woman all the time "not masculine"?
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« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2017, 01:44:04 am »

Because toxic masculinity.

Because straight men do not see women as equals; they see them as possessions to be protected by men from other competing men. It is masculine to spend time with your woman because it's not "hanging out with" her but rather a public exhibition of your ability to "protect" her. This is why straight men naturally become more aggressive towards other people while in public with their girlfriends. You might argue that this stuff makes no sense logically, but that literally does not matter because this shit doesn't FOLLOW "logic", it follows the animal brain's instinctual desires. Women do not have this lust-driven protective streak; they instead lean toward the "motherly" motifs of being accepting and nurturing, and therefore don't really give a shit about whether something makes you look masculine or feminine (from an instinctual perspective; not a socially-constructed gender norm perspective).

Because straight men see gay men as threats to their own chastity, and therefore their own masculinity.
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« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2017, 03:22:16 pm »

I think religion is the fault of this, not male masculinity, per se.


The Greeks and Romans were the epitome of masculinity and strength. And they had sex with each other all of the time.
It wasn't even a thing.
You just have sex with your friends.

Then comes religion and says all of this sex is bad and ESPECIALLY guy on guy sex.


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« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2017, 06:32:50 pm »

Bottom line, men are assholes. That's why women should lead the world for a few years.
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« Reply #17 on: April 18, 2017, 06:41:38 am »

I don't think women are any better than men in that regard
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