How many people know you're out?
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Author Topic: How many people know you're out?  (Read 33472 times)
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« on: December 07, 2015, 06:11:20 am »

 Crazy?
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« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2015, 03:17:21 pm »

0 including me (currently living in a deep deep closet)
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« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2015, 03:41:55 pm »

everybody i know and everybody i will ever meet. they will never get the chance to gossip about my sexual orientation behind my back.  Grin
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« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2015, 06:03:47 pm »

Five. And I hope one or they won't tell anyone else since I'm not sure about my other friends' reactions, especially since there are some of them who are celarly homophobic...
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« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2015, 07:50:33 pm »

All in my family.
All in my band.
All of my friends.
All that I care about.
70% of my highschool class
90% of my college mates
The whole lesbian soccer club (don't ask)
+ couple of people in Dublin Cheesy

I don't really hide it much. I don't tell people when I meet them first because I don't think of it as a declarance or something. If there's occasion I don't try to cover it. Only people at my work don't know, beside one girl who is studying with me. Well time will show. I don't feel any need to tell them because I don't care what they think, I'm just there to work. I have a little crush on two of my bosses Cheesy But they have kids soooo.
I don't remember having any bad reactions. Like really really bad. Of course some of them heard by accident and out of my control, but never had any face to face confrontations or laughs or bullying.
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« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2015, 08:00:59 pm »

Everyone that knows me at all well knows I'm gay. Some acquaintences may not know but that's only because it hasn't come up in conversation. I haven't hidden the fact in any way since I was a teenager over thirty years ago.
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« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2016, 03:57:34 pm »

My family and friends know. Very few at work though as it is very conservative industry. I don’t make a point of telling everyone I meet as it isn’t that big a deal as far as I am concerned but if asked will tell them I am gay
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« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2016, 04:04:41 pm »

some friends, immediate family, most office colleagues..
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« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2016, 09:02:24 pm »

maybe 10, only close friends and some family members
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« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2016, 06:22:36 pm »

close friends only. some ppl guess I suppose.
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« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2016, 05:49:26 am »

Friends and half of my family... I don't hide it but I don't usually say that I'm gay, if anyone ask me I will tell.
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« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2016, 06:50:24 pm »

tricky question because i've only said out loud to some people, but here too i feel like people just assume it about me lol and if they ask i'm honest Smiley
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« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2016, 05:33:22 pm »

All in my family.
All in my band.
All of my friends.
All that I care about.
70% of my highschool class
90% of my college mates
The whole lesbian soccer club (don't ask)
+ couple of people in Dublin Cheesy

I don't really hide it much. I don't tell people when I meet them first because I don't think of it as a declarance or something. If there's occasion I don't try to cover it. Only people at my work don't know, beside one girl who is studying with me. Well time will show. I don't feel any need to tell them because I don't care what they think, I'm just there to work. I have a little crush on two of my bosses Cheesy But they have kids soooo.
I don't remember having any bad reactions. Like really really bad. Of course some of them heard by accident and out of my control, but never had any face to face confrontations or laughs or bullying.

How lucky that you were able to come out and they accept you with no prejudice. I almost can do that here... Sad

Only 4 people know. Two guys and two girls, and they are my classmates. I can never come out to my family, otherwise they will disown me...
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« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2016, 04:26:56 pm »

there is only one person at work that knows, otherwise I am 100% out to everyone.
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« Reply #14 on: February 27, 2016, 03:40:41 pm »

I came out to my best friend from highschool and she still call me her BFF   Grin.
She is the only one who know my secret.
I am still living in my old closet  Cry Cry
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« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2016, 02:37:45 pm »




How lucky that you were able to come out and they accept you with no prejudice. I almost can do that here... Sad

Only 4 people know. Two guys and two girls, and they are my classmates. I can never come out to my family, otherwise they will disown me...

I know. I am lucky, but it's not up to luck anyway, it's up to you !
If you just stick with nice people if you care about them if they see it, they will accept. They always do if their love or their kindness for you is real. Cause people may not accept homosexuality, they probably never thought about that and neither they will, they just accept you. If you come across as a good person you won't be judged. But you have to choose carefully who got your back. So it's really important to see through people and have a lot of energy to attract them to you. That is just my opinion.
I live in Poland. It's not a gay-friendly country actually. I see many un-freindly guys everyday but in every country there is a group of wise, caring, selfless people, you just have to get there.
Harder with the family as you didn't choose one, but are you sure they would disown you ? Cause sometimes we think that cause we are scared but people are more tolerant than we think actually. Ask about the topic just get to know their stuff about it. You will have to tell them eventually you know. It just comes naturally. You will be tired of them asking you about girlfriends and stuff. You will want them to know that you are happy with who you love. You will wish then that you didn't tell them earlier because you would already be in the whole different phase by now. Well I'm not forcing you or anything like that but I guess you should really think about what they are really like, do they love you, will they throw you out or if they are ready to hear the truth.
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« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2016, 04:31:41 pm »




How lucky that you were able to come out and they accept you with no prejudice. I almost can do that here... Sad

Only 4 people know. Two guys and two girls, and they are my classmates. I can never come out to my family, otherwise they will disown me...

I know. I am lucky, but it's not up to luck anyway, it's up to you !
If you just stick with nice people if you care about them if they see it, they will accept. They always do if their love or their kindness for you is real. Cause people may not accept homosexuality, they probably never thought about that and neither they will, they just accept you. If you come across as a good person you won't be judged. But you have to choose carefully who got your back. So it's really important to see through people and have a lot of energy to attract them to you. That is just my opinion.
I live in Poland. It's not a gay-friendly country actually. I see many un-freindly guys everyday but in every country there is a group of wise, caring, selfless people, you just have to get there.
Harder with the family as you didn't choose one, but are you sure they would disown you ? Cause sometimes we think that cause we are scared but people are more tolerant than we think actually. Ask about the topic just get to know their stuff about it. You will have to tell them eventually you know. It just comes naturally. You will be tired of them asking you about girlfriends and stuff. You will want them to know that you are happy with who you love. You will wish then that you didn't tell them earlier because you would already be in the whole different phase by now. Well I'm not forcing you or anything like that but I guess you should really think about what they are really like, do they love you, will they throw you out or if they are ready to hear the truth.

Well, I've been growing up with a saying that "heaven lies in the foot of a mother". I'm sure mother's love knows no limit, but I'm unsure about my mom. I live in Indonesia, and here they treat most LGBTs like some sort of sickly, mentally disturbed people. They judge us, without actually knowing us but don't make any attempt to know us personally nor even willing to treat us humanely. Now, my family also embodies a certain degree of religion values. I asked them once about how they view about homosexuals, especially since this is a trending issue here lately, since these people start to raise their voice, demanding their rights to be valued and treated equally, and they said these people are damaged. They said that I shouldn't be anywhere near them, thinking it's contagious, so... yeah, I think coming out to them won't be so easy after all. I'm unsure how would they feel about me if they ever find out that I'm actually attracted to males... I think it would devastate them, particularly my mother. Whether I tell them or they find out about it themselves (which I don't plan that to happen at all costs), the outcome would be the same... I think Cry

Even if they did, they probably won't talk to me for certain period of time... They would come in terms with that, but probably will take a very long time. I don't know... I'm not ready to tell them yet...
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« Reply #17 on: March 12, 2016, 06:07:43 am »

Only 3 realy close friends. It's Russia, babe, a very small town.
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« Reply #18 on: March 13, 2016, 11:45:45 am »


Well, I've been growing up with a saying that "heaven lies in the foot of a mother". I'm sure mother's love knows no limit, but I'm unsure about my mom. I live in Indonesia, and here they treat most LGBTs like some sort of sickly, mentally disturbed people. They judge us, without actually knowing us but don't make any attempt to know us personally nor even willing to treat us humanely. Now, my family also embodies a certain degree of religion values. I asked them once about how they view about homosexuals, especially since this is a trending issue here lately, since these people start to raise their voice, demanding their rights to be valued and treated equally, and they said these people are damaged. They said that I shouldn't be anywhere near them, thinking it's contagious, so... yeah, I think coming out to them won't be so easy after all. I'm unsure how would they feel about me if they ever find out that I'm actually attracted to males... I think it would devastate them, particularly my mother. Whether I tell them or they find out about it themselves (which I don't plan that to happen at all costs), the outcome would be the same... I think Cry

Even if they did, they probably won't talk to me for certain period of time... They would come in terms with that, but probably will take a very long time. I don't know... I'm not ready to tell them yet...

Wow. And I thought Poland is a conservative country Cheesy
Hang in there bud.
Maybe you should leave ? Go to Europe, to London, get a job. If they don't accept you. I just don't want you to waste your live in the closet and in the fear. If it's like in Russia then that's very possible. Ever thought of it ? Maybe not necessarily Europe but somewhere nearer. I mean, you won't change. That's who you are. Maybe changing your environmental wouldn't be such a bad idea. And if you got a good work you could really live your own. Maybe you got a friend somewhere with whom you could start or stay a few weeks until you settle.

My mom is a total christian. Like REALLY. She said that I won't ever be happy. I heard her praying under my doors when I was sleeping "for it to go away". Yeah she thought that it's some kind of curse. That I can pray the gay away and through the advices and rehabilitations make myself straight. I thought she lost that hope already : D Through the time she just got used to it. Not entirely, but it's enough. Hahaha she kind of rececntly told me while we were chatting about my friend that I should be with her cause she is such a good, wise girl instead of chasing those stupid men hahaha. But she was in touch with my ex-bf. She liked him, she texted with him on facebook and stuff Cheesy I know it's probably like a gay heaven to you now but it wasn't like that always. It's what we worked out through the time. The most important thing was that I didn't give up and I was very stumble. I never came out to people with those puppy eyes saying "there is something I need to tell you... maybe you won't talk to me anymore". No. That's not a way. You don't come to people as an underdog, you don't have nothing to be ashamed or to be sorry about. You don't let them scream at you or put their lectures over your head. You are proud. You are brave. You are strong. You go with I'm gay either you accept it or you don't but the faster you do the faster things will go back to the usual, cause that's not gonna change - I'm not gonna change.

If you did decide to go to another country you could always send them a letter if you are still afraid. They could think about it while you were away and combined with yearness they would miss you and want you to come back and find understanding. If not, better for you not to have any contact with them.
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« Reply #19 on: March 13, 2016, 05:31:43 pm »

Actually, I do have a thought about moving overseas. I hope once I graduate I can live my own life somewhere far away. I intend to go to New Zealand and find a job there. But it'll cost me some fortune, so... until then, that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

But if I did leave, I may have to leave my boyfriend... afraid

It's so confusing! Maybe I could tell my parents via text message instead? Undecided
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