Gay Fathers
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« on: June 06, 2008, 08:57:48 am »

Hey there guys, just a quick question to see if there are any other gay fathers out there?  Abit about me:  I am a 34 year old single gay father living in Halifax, NS.  I have a wonderful/beautiful 7 year old daughter (that I have sole custody of).  We also have 4 cats and 1 dog.  I am a nursing assistant for a long term care facility and my daughter will be going into grade 2.
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« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2008, 06:55:15 am »

Hi Taz,

I'm not a father....yet. But I'm 32 and for the last couple of years have felt the paternal instinct growing stronger. As a guy who hasn't been able to make a relationship last more than a few years (my three dogs have had two 'stepdads'), I'm not ready to act on that just yet.

My hat's off to you for taking on the responsibility of being a single parent. And I wish you and your daughter all the happiness in the world.

I hope we hear from other gay dads too!

luckystrike
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« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2008, 05:19:12 pm »

Many thanks for the response, luckystrike.  I do, as well, hope to find and chat with other gay fathers.

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« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2008, 01:23:54 am »

Hey guys Im 34 with a beautiful 4 yr old son who lives with my b/f and me and he couldnt be happier
His mother is currently trying to cause as much trouble as possible for us telling everyone that we are
paedofiles because we are gay but i figure she'll get hers (im a strong believer in karma!). All the power to us gay dads and all the best.
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« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2008, 06:00:21 am »

Hey guys Im 34 with a beautiful 4 yr old son who lives with my b/f and me and he couldnt be happier
His mother is currently trying to cause as much trouble as possible for us telling everyone that we are
paedofiles because we are gay but i figure she'll get hers (im a strong believer in karma!). All the power to us gay dads and all the best.

Congrats on being a gay father....It's nice to meet other Gay Fathers.  Karma is a very strong and powerful thing.  Just keep loving you son with all you got, and all will be well.

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« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2008, 05:45:20 pm »

Welcome to the club guys.....

I came out to my kid's 14 no 15 years ago and haven't seen or heard from either since  Sad
I kinda wish I had kept my mouth closed...


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« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2008, 06:23:58 pm »

Welcome to the club guys.....

I came out to my kid's 14 no 15 years ago and haven't seen or heard from either since  Sad
I kinda wish I had kept my mouth closed...




I'm so sorry to hear that.  Some times we don't know which decision is the best for all involved.
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« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2008, 02:10:30 pm »

Having said that - I am not going back into the closet for anyone....

I now know who I am - If others dont like it then its their problem and not mine...


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« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2008, 05:21:12 am »

Having said that - I am not going back into the closet for anyone....

I now know who I am - If others dont like it then its their problem and not mine...




Right on.   Wink Wink
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« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2009, 12:51:53 pm »

Not a father here but I imagine I might be one day.
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« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2010, 03:02:21 am »

i admire responsible parents. i believe being responsible is just like love - it does not limit itself to gender or sexual orientation.

i would like to have kids of my own some day but for now, i'm contented with my nephews and nieces (that i spoil sporadically).

to those of you raising kids right now, i wish you all the best and congratulations!!!

also, for those harassed because of being gay and raising a kid, just hang in there. when you're doing the right thing, no matter what others do to pull you down, you won't be going anywhere but up. love lifts up people and your kids will give you that (and those detractors will become even more envious knowing you have become successful and you proved them wrong!).
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¡ʎʇıʌɐɹƃ ƃuıʎɟǝp sı oɥɔuɐnɾ


millions have tried to sleep with me....

only thousands have succeeded!



to define oneself is to limit oneself! from my aunt, oscar wilde
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« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2011, 10:11:24 pm »

Welcome to the club guys.....

I came out to my kid's 14 no 15 years ago and haven't seen or heard from either since  Sad
I kinda wish I had kept my mouth closed...





How old are you and your kids now? Maybe it's good time to refresh contact with them? People are much more tolerant for gays than 15 years ago.
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« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2011, 04:45:43 pm »

I am a 32 year old father of two awesome boys, my oldest is 7 and  youngest is 4.  I seperated from my now ex wife before my youngest was born, I never was honest with her as to the reason.  The next two years we spent fighting in court over child custody, ending with us having joint custody, and costing over 15000 dollars and a lot of resentments.  About 6 months after the court decision was final the relationship with my boys' mother was rocky at best, no trust or respect for each other and no effort from either side to build or gain it.  We never yelled or fought in front of the boys and never talked bad about the other in front of them.  But to say that they were not affected would be very naive.  I came to the conclusion that in order for me to grow as a person, a man and as a father, I would have to be honest about who I was no matter what the consquences were.  So I decided to have "the conversation" with her.

It was the best decision I ever made.  It was almost like flipping a switch, our relationship went from being adversail to coorperative.  When I was able to be honest she was able to do the same and it really broke down alot of those resentments we had built up.  We are not best friends that have dinner and talk on the phone everyday, but once those resentments was broke down we were able to start building trust between us which allowed us to concentrate on what was the most important thing to both of us...our boys.  We now share with each other the joys and frustrations that comes with being a parent with each other and get support from each other.  It is not uncommon for the picking up and dropping off the boys to take 30 to 45 min because we are busy laughing and talking about the antics the boys had gotten into during the visit. 

If I had to share what my experience has taught me it would be this: be honest, no matter what the percieved consquence, embaressments or personal rights might have.  Your children are most valuable thing you have and you would not hand them over to someone you didn't trust.  Why would the other parent feel any differently?  I have found that by letting my ex wife in on my thought process, why I feel the way I do, why I reached the decision I did, or addressing concerns I have with her decisions, that then doesn't have to guess or make up the reasons herself, which she is the type of person that always assumes the worse thing.

Anyway, hope this helps!
Dan     
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« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2014, 10:52:15 am »

Im 31 and am a sperm donor

I was told last year that a baby boy had been born to a lesbian couple in a city 1.5 hours drive from me

I have no parental rights over the child or any idea what his name is or what he looks like but I recently tried to make contact with the family again (via the agency) as I realise the kid is going to be 2 this year and I didnt want them to think that I didnt care.  I sent them a picture of myself and my partner via the agency and had a response via the agency that they were very grateful for the picture and would be happy to make direct contact in the near future!

I am so excited - I have nieces and nephews aged in their 2s and 3s and often wonder how my son is doing and what he looks like
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« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2014, 07:36:42 pm »

I am a fairly new gay father of a beautiful one year old son. His mother and I get along very well, and support each other 100 percent. However, being new to this, it is nice to get other gay dads perceptions on things. Like I am currently in the process of potty training, and I keep being told that I need to take my son to the bathroom when I go so he can watch me. That makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Just seems kinda strange. Any opinions out there??
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« Reply #15 on: July 27, 2014, 05:02:42 pm »

At the age of 24 I am a  gay father with full custody to a 5 years old son.
At age of 18, I was still exploring even if I knew I was gay and one fateful night got my very close friend knocked up.
After she had told me she was pregnant I kinda dropped the bomb that I was gay, she wasn't mad or anything but she did asked me to be apart of her life and our son. Of course I was happy and relieved + scared to be a father at young age.

After 4 months we told everyone we knew about our situation and oddly enough they mostly supported us but were wondering how we would live. Everything went great until that tragic night, mother of my child died giving birth due to severe bleeding and heart failure, the boy survived but I was devastated, suddenly I felt so alone.


Hopefully I didn't blame anyone and by the support of her close family and mine, I was able to get trough. I am really grateful to all of them who still helps me today. She must be smiling somewhere and hopefully she is proud of our son.

It's tough and thankfully I've got help now aswell for 2 years already with my boyfriend.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2014, 05:05:09 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2014, 04:03:01 pm »

I am a fairly new gay father of a beautiful one year old son. His mother and I get along very well, and support each other 100 percent. However, being new to this, it is nice to get other gay dads perceptions on things. Like I am currently in the process of potty training, and I keep being told that I need to take my son to the bathroom when I go so he can watch me. That makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Just seems kinda strange. Any opinions out there??

I have 3 sons, 18y/o, 16y/o and 18mo. They all learned differently and the most important thing is to pay attention to your son's reactions to certain things.

    Does your son seem interested in the potty chair or toilet, or in wearing underwear?
    Can your son understand and follow basic directions?
    Does your son tell you through words, facial expressions or posture when he needs to go?
    Does he stay dry for periods of two hours or longer during the day?
    Does he complain about wet or dirty diapers?
    Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again?
    Can your child sit on and rise from a potty chair?

When your son displays any of these behaviors, he's ready to learn and  showing him how is only weird if you make it so. (the BOLD lines are the ones that my sons exhibited but not every kid is the same obviously)

All my boys started with a couple questions about why 'daddy's diaper was different' and that started a conversation about the difference between 'big boy' underpants. When put into the right context, their natural curiosity and desire to emulate you will kind of take over and almost help guide you to guide him. Kwim?  

hope this helps.


« Last Edit: July 30, 2014, 04:05:43 pm by (Hidden) » Logged



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Ajax0980
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« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2014, 08:11:07 pm »

I am a fairly new gay father of a beautiful one year old son. His mother and I get along very well, and support each other 100 percent. However, being new to this, it is nice to get other gay dads perceptions on things. Like I am currently in the process of potty training, and I keep being told that I need to take my son to the bathroom when I go so he can watch me. That makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Just seems kinda strange. Any opinions out there??

I have 3 sons, 18y/o, 16y/o and 18mo. They all learned differently and the most important thing is to pay attention to your son's reactions to certain things.

    Does your son seem interested in the potty chair or toilet, or in wearing underwear?
    Can your son understand and follow basic directions?
    Does your son tell you through words, facial expressions or posture when he needs to go?
    Does he stay dry for periods of two hours or longer during the day?
    Does he complain about wet or dirty diapers?
    Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again?
    Can your child sit on and rise from a potty chair?

When your son displays any of these behaviors, he's ready to learn and  showing him how is only weird if you make it so. (the BOLD lines are the ones that my sons exhibited but not every kid is the same obviously)

All my boys started with a couple questions about why 'daddy's diaper was different' and that started a conversation about the difference between 'big boy' underpants. When put into the right context, their natural curiosity and desire to emulate you will kind of take over and almost help guide you to guide him. Kwim?   

hope this helps.



Thank you very much for your insight. I need to pay more attention to my son is basically what I got from your post. LOL!! He is only one, so right now, no questions, but as far as taking his diaper off, he does it all the time. He's never seen me in my underwear so that might be something that I need to actually let him see so he can see the difference. Right now he pays no attention to his potty chair but I also don't make any effort to work with him on it as far as putting him on it or things like talking to him about it. I will be trying this and watching him to see if he gets interested. Thanks again man.
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« Reply #18 on: January 02, 2015, 10:34:37 am »

this is quiet insightful.. All the best!
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« Reply #19 on: February 16, 2015, 04:17:04 pm »

anch'io padre di 2 figli 24 e 21 anni...ma nn sanno della mia natura bisex,è cosi difficile  Cry
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