Issues on assuming I'm gay.
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Author Topic: Issues on assuming I'm gay.  (Read 5334 times)
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« on: March 21, 2016, 03:15:53 am »

So I'm thirty and by 26 years old I finally found out I liked man. Bears actually. Since then I've been keeping this hidden from family and friends and I don't know how to approach to them with this sucject, 'cause it seems harder than it looks.

What tips would you give to me? Is it always better to assume? Tks.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2016, 03:22:46 am by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2016, 07:55:25 pm »

You know your friends and family much better than any of us could. I would start with the person I think would have an understanding of the idea, and someone who thinks it is okay to be gay. But it is always better to open up to your very best friend and then build a bit of confidence towards telling your family. I told my best friend who is straight, and even though he is uncomfortable around gay people, he said its perfectly fine and nothing has changed. I really wish that you can find someone who can understand you in this way. It is also advisable to see a therapist because they really can help you understand what you are actually afraid of and I spoke to my school counselor who is a very nice lady.
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« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2016, 09:41:41 pm »

I'm a little bit confused on what you meant by "to assume" in this, your case. (Is it always better to what?) But anyway, I totally get how it's not that easy or simple to just come out -- esp. when we don't totally understand ourselves or how exactly to go about our lives with new goals that some of our loved ones won't understand.   

We all have our preferences and different time tables with regards to these events (i.e. coming out, etc.), and I would suggest to just take it easy and take your time. Also, try not complicating things too much. You like guys; you already know that. Try sharing this special part of you -- even if you don't have to totally explain everything -- to someone you trust (e.g. even new gay friends that you make and can talk to about these things), and you'll find that it becomes more and more easy to talk about. 

It took me some time to come out myself, and I was surprised with the support I got from friends and family when I did.
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« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2016, 07:10:44 am »

I'm a little bit confused on what you meant by "to assume" in this, your case. (Is it always better to what?) But anyway, I totally get how it's not that easy or simple to just come out -- esp. when we don't totally understand ourselves or how exactly to go about our lives with new goals that some of our loved ones won't understand.   

We all have our preferences and different time tables with regards to these events (i.e. coming out, etc.), and I would suggest to just take it easy and take your time. Also, try not complicating things too much. You like guys; you already know that. Try sharing this special part of you -- even if you don't have to totally explain everything -- to someone you trust (e.g. even new gay friends that you make and can talk to about these things), and you'll find that it becomes more and more easy to talk about. 

It took me some time to come out myself, and I was surprised with the support I got from friends and family when I did.

I'm sorry in how I tried to express myself. I meant exactly coming out. It's just "to assume" has a different meaning around here at Brazil and I just typed by mistake. But anyway, tks for the advice, it was of great help.
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