The "expiration date" for a bottom vs a top
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Author Topic: The "expiration date" for a bottom vs a top  (Read 1987 times)
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« on: June 19, 2016, 03:47:38 pm »

So I just started randomly thinking about this topic (potential stereotypes incoming).. I'm 20yo at the moment, but I already feel like i'm "expiring" as a bottom because i'm no longer the "innocent 18yo twink" or whatever guys seem to love..It's true that the older you get, the less other people usually want you.
But at the same time, it feels that with tops it often works the other way around, where the bottom wants the top to be older than himself.

An older top is more likely to find someone than an older bottom.

So now I'm basically scared that if i don't find the "One" soon, i'll live the rest of my life alone and miserable. (And i'm not even having luck with finding anyone.)

Opinions? What do you think is the "age limit" for a bottom and a top?
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« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2016, 04:05:12 pm »

Oh, how I wish I had no idea what you're talking about..

I'm afraid I have no answers either.
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For the glory of The Star Empire.
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« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2016, 04:22:01 pm »

Heavens, life is complicated enough without having to invent problems.

There are no entry requirements to be a bottom or a top. You don't suddenly become a top after you turn 20.

I have known tops from 18 to 80, I have known bottoms from 18 to 80. Sometimes the same person.

At your age you shouldn't be worrying about what you do, just do it!

PS It is possible to be alone and happy Smiley
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« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2016, 04:45:29 pm »

Food and drinls have expiration dates so does a raffle ticket but top or bottom.....heaven, no way
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« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2016, 07:36:08 am »

Thinking that someone has an 'expiration date' to be loved is just delusional, dude. Chill out.
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« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2016, 08:58:31 am »

So I just started randomly thinking about this topic (potential stereotypes incoming).. I'm 20yo at the moment, but I already feel like i'm "expiring" as a bottom because i'm no longer the "innocent 18yo twink" or whatever guys seem to love..It's true that the older you get, the less other people usually want you.
But at the same time, it feels that with tops it often works the other way around, where the bottom wants the top to be older than himself.

An older top is more likely to find someone than an older bottom.

So now I'm basically scared that if i don't find the "One" soon, i'll live the rest of my life alone and miserable. (And i'm not even having luck with finding anyone.)

Opinions? What do you think is the "age limit" for a bottom and a top?

That's just ridiculous. Age becomes more irrelevant as you grow older. As someone that usually preferred younger guys, i'm now dating a 37 y/o bottom, which is 6 years older than me, and this is actually the first time i've thought about his age in... a year? (Excluding his birthday of course)

Although, I remember having the same thoughts when i was your age, so I understand your concern. But no, you don't expire. And anyone that thinks so don't deserve you anyway.
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« Reply #6 on: June 20, 2016, 12:08:38 pm »

The point that i'm trying to make is that there seems to be the "ideal" condition for both roles. And once you have gone past that, it's harder and harder to find someone. (especially in a country like mine where people aren't that open and it's not as easy to find someone at all)
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« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2016, 01:06:53 pm »

Still none, whether you're a top or bottom
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« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2016, 02:11:09 pm »

I think you're making more problems than we actually are. Sure, it's easier to find a top when one is very young, but also with the passing years do not become impossible. I'm 46, bottom, and I can always find someone who wants to play with me. I find people much more mature than me, but I also find guys for the first experiences about sex.
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« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2016, 04:23:10 pm »

Im pure versatile and always have been , like email , ive always sent and received so  i just don't get the pure top pure bottom shenanigans  IMO sounds really boring

*grabs bag of popcorn and waits patiently for top/bottom arguments*
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« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2016, 10:53:05 am »

I'm top an even if i like young people, for now I'm fucking mostly people older than me. Maybe not much older, but I'm 34 and my favorite at the moment is 41. I prefer muscled or fit men and if they are handsome and have a nice body it's not a problem for me.
I found also that younger people, at least in Italy, have much higher expectation than people of my age or more... if they are muscled and young usually they prefer equally muscled and young partners (I'm not that fit at the moment even ìf I'm working on it), older people even if they are fitter than me are more open even if I'm not like them.
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« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2016, 09:04:18 pm »

I can say with complete confidence that you're clearly looking in all the wrong places. Age wise, I was where you are at now 10 years ago. It may be that in your general physical region of your country people have a set mentality, but I can assure you that if you travel around a bit, you'll find many people who are more than willing to have some play time. Even with the weight I have gained, causing me to lose my self-sense of sexy, I found that by changing venues, I got a very different result.
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« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2017, 09:28:48 pm »

I think you're conflating two issues here. I think there is an "expiration" to being a twink, as the older we get the more our bodies change. It's very difficult to maintain a skinny/twinky look, because our metabolism slows as we age, and then the only option is to start eating healthier and working out to stay at a healthy weight (unless you're extremely lucky in the genetics department and never have to worry about weight gain). For example when I was in my teens, I could literally eat a horse and not gain a pound. I was so damn skinny. But just before hitting20 I noticed that I was starting to gain weight. I'm definitely not the type to work out, but I changed my eating habits. I'm more of an average build now, so I don't fit one of the stereotypical gay "body types" (twink, jock/gym rat, bear, cub, otter, etc.). I'll be 27 next month, and I have this mindset/struggle about not feeling like I fit into one of the "categories" that we gay men love so much. However, I'm definitely a bottom, and I don't see a situation in which I am going to "expire." When you're young men prioritize different things than they do when they're older. For example when I was 18 I found twink or jock/college-porn to be what turned me on the most, but now that I've gotten a bit older, I've noticed that body type and age is less of a "hang up" for me. I find men of all body-types, shapes, colors, ages attractive. I can see myself with a younger or older top. Hell I'm even more interested than ever in wanting to try being more versatile. So long story short, don't worry about feeling like you're going to "expire" as a bottom; your outlook will change as you get older, and you'll realize that whatever notion you have about what the "ideal" bottom's age, body type, etc. should be is all in your head, and there really isn't any specific mold that a bottom, or top for that matter, has to fit into.
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« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2017, 09:52:00 pm »

The point that i'm trying to make is that there seems to be the "ideal" condition for both roles. And once you have gone past that, it's harder and harder to find someone. (especially in a country like mine where people aren't that open and it's not as easy to find someone at all)

There is no ideal condition as well as the 'One".
These are ideas that people put on others to put labels on things.

Bottom as long as you enjoy it.
If you find the one and make it last forever than great, if not just enjoy the 'one' for now.
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« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2017, 11:11:09 pm »

Heavens, life is complicated enough without having to invent problems.

/thread
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« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2017, 11:28:55 pm »

I think you may be struggling with a cultural problem.
You should know that at the end of the day, age and being the "ideal" top or bottom are completely unrelated.  It is just a "social" belief.
For example, I am top and I am younger than my boyfriend who is bottom and our different ages were never an issue when we started dating.

So, if someone doesn't want you or love you because you are not young or old enough to fit some stupid stereotype (meaning they don't love you for who you are) you are better off with that person out of your life. Really, knowing this could save you a lot of trouble in the long run.
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« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2017, 12:24:37 am »

Oh, for fuck sake. That's possibly the stupidest thing I've ever read. Pukey

I'm 20yo at the moment, but I already feel like i'm "expiring" as a bottom because i'm no longer the "innocent 18yo twink" or whatever guys seem to love..It's true that the older you get, the less other people usually want you.
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« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2017, 12:31:52 am »

Here is something you will be glad to hear- there are problems with STDs in nursing homes, because geriatric people love playing bedroom roulette.

Yes, even people in their 70's and 80's are having sex.

Heck, just look at the porn on this website- plenty of it is of fat old men with other fat old men, and somebody out there likes it enough to upload it, and other people presumably are downloading it.

The only "Expiration date" is the last, and most literal one.
And there are even people into that.
The expired are exclusively bottoms, of course. Smiley
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« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2017, 05:32:47 am »

That reminds me a lot of how homoerotism used to work in Ancient Greece and at some extent in Ancient Rome too... maybe we haven't changed that much and this is just an echo of that time. But in Ancient Greece older men were expected to initiate young boys in sex and the rule was that the older men would always be top whereas the young ones should always be bottoms. In Ancient Rome homosexuality was not a big deal, as long as the adult, free man practicing it was a top; to be a bottom was considered a dishonor, something that only very young boys would do, or something you would expect of effeminate men and slaves.
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« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2017, 11:07:40 am »

I started as a bottom but haven't in a while.  I'm going to get fit again then I'll bottom once again.  I miss it.
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