Where did you find your gay friends?
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Author Topic: Where did you find your gay friends?  (Read 1997 times)
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« on: June 29, 2016, 11:49:33 am »

Will gay guys automatically assume you're interested in them if you just want to hang out? My cynical experience tells me: yes, they will automatically assume that you secretly want to fuck them. But on the other hand, I've seen documentaries and stories where gay guys simply hang out.

So where do you meet these guys?
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« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2016, 02:41:20 pm »

well true story here : I met 3 guys in a backroom/sauna ! I was alone and they knew each other.. (we were around 20 something) and one asked me 'where u from '.. and blabla.. I was the new kid in town so one of them thought it was going to be fun to show me around. We never saw each other naked (other than with a towel around the waist), never asked for sex but we spent like 2 years together going to bars and to lots of clubs at least twice a week. That was fun.
But that's about the only time it happened in my life. Other friends are always friends with benefits or ex BF. (or of course str8 friends..)
(many jocks/twinks go to the sauna but never fuck or never show their naked bodies , it's mostly to hang around and watch other guys and talk.. I know It's strange and it annoys older guys who think they shouldn't be here if they're not gonna fuck - I was not like them though Grin).
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« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2016, 05:37:00 am »

OP:

In high-school I was usually wanted to date some gay guy I met, but after my first boyfriend and I split up we stayed friends for... coming up on a decade this September.

I'm the president at my LGBT Pride club at the community college, and I have no interest in sleeping with ANY of my club members.  (that's not the point of pride club, it seems inappropriate for me to be a representative of the only active LGBT organisation in my city and be sleeping with the constituents.)  But they are my friends, and sometimes, better than family.

Honestly I don't go out of my way to make gay friends.  Mostly because I don't care much about anyone's orientation, but also because I seemingly have less in common with the gay people I meet in passing, and have severely different communication styles.  This makes having  a rewarding friendship more difficult.  Just off the top of my head, recently I met some gay guys that listened to a lot of pop music, and liked to go out to the clubs and dance... I don't like any of those things.  They are not enjoyable to me.  But I FEEL like a minority within a minority saying that. 

Then again you won't see me at any gym either (maybe that's another place you can look for gay friends) IDK I'm clearly bad at this.
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« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2016, 06:15:25 pm »

Don't like clubs either and the local gyms aren't really for socializing. Mostly because they're all incredibly crowded and it's not even worth the effort to show up, as you will hardly get to use any of the equipment anyway. There are waiting lines for the thread mill.  Grin They're also too expensive. haha

And the only 'gay club' in my area is a bar with transvestites, pink disco lighting and those creepy Hawaian flower strings (whatever they're called).

I'm sure that they must enjoy themselves, but I'm more of a low-key guy.  angel

Anyway, thanks for the replies.





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« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2016, 11:57:50 pm »

I feel the same way as you, sadly, OP... I wish I had more gay friends, but I don't really know any here, and when I meet other gay guys, I worry they'll assume I'm creeping on them, or that I'm some straight person trying to ingratiate myself with them and make them my "fagcessory"... There's only one gay bar I know of here. It's a pretty diverse crowd and the atmosphere is relatively low-key, but I don't go there much (I've only been 2-3 times). It's really not a terrible place as far as bars go, but I dislike bars in general. They're obscenely overpriced, the bartenders (particularly in more pseudo-bohemian places) are frequently assholes, and they're really boring unless you're drinking or there's good entertainment.

I am more into house shows and hanging out on porches and buying/carrying my own cheap corner market booze vs. paying twice as much for the same stuff. The problem is, I hardly ever meet anyone new.

Once, I went to Idapalooza (a week-long outdoor festival in Middle Tennessee for the GLBTXYZBBQ set), and it was really fun/interesting... There's a pretty heavy "SJW" element there that kind of turns me off, but I still had a blast with all the freaks, crusties, hippies, weirdos and abnormals who were not with the humorless, fun-hating killjoy crowd. I've wanted to go back for years now, but I don't really have the money to make the trip. I don't even have any camping gear... Anyway, I met/chatted with loads of people there... Something to consider.
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« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2016, 12:11:29 am »

Don't have any  Sad
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« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2016, 01:02:13 pm »

Don't have any
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« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2016, 08:00:44 pm »

I have a few, some I meet in school or friend with benefits I met through grindr. They're far from my closest friends though. I have a few best friends, straight girls, who I've known since forever. But I'm kind of a loner, so I am fine with it, but it would be nice to have a few more. I'm so bad at mainting new friendships though, since I enjoy spending time alone so much. Ah well.
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« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2016, 09:34:30 pm »

I don't wish to speak ill of "my own kind" so I'll just keep it simple and say that gay guys tend to have other interests and priorities than me so.. aside from two or three ex boyfriends that I still keep in touch with, I only have straight friends.
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« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2016, 03:16:41 pm »

OP:

In high-school I was usually wanted to date some gay guy I met, but after my first boyfriend and I split up we stayed friends for... coming up on a decade this September.

I'm the president at my LGBT Pride club at the community college, and I have no interest in sleeping with ANY of my club members.  (that's not the point of pride club, it seems inappropriate for me to be a representative of the only active LGBT organisation in my city and be sleeping with the constituents.)  But they are my friends, and sometimes, better than family.

Honestly I don't go out of my way to make gay friends.  Mostly because I don't care much about anyone's orientation, but also because I seemingly have less in common with the gay people I meet in passing, and have severely different communication styles.  This makes having  a rewarding friendship more difficult.  Just off the top of my head, recently I met some gay guys that listened to a lot of pop music, and liked to go out to the clubs and dance... I don't like any of those things.  They are not enjoyable to me.  But I FEEL like a minority within a minority saying that. 

Then again you won't see me at any gym either (maybe that's another place you can look for gay friends) IDK I'm clearly bad at this.

I've made the same experiences as you, except for the staying-friends-with-ex-BFs. And I, too, feel like a minority within a minority. Usually it's not a big deal. But if one needs to talk to someone who can understand one's "gay problems", straight friends are often just... incompatible.  Undecided

OP: I met some at my university's gay pride club, but due to the lack of mutual interests and people moving to other countries, those acquaintances and friendships rarely last in my case. But that's okay, since you'll alway find someone you get warm with, in a plactonic sense Hug.

Also, at least here in Germany, it seems that our local hacker spaces have much higher than usual share in openly gay people. I have some ideas why that might be, but I'm still not sure why.

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« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2016, 05:00:46 am »

Ppl who are not into bar/club/disco scene are not easy to find gay friends. I tried some website like "meetup", wasn't lucky.
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« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2016, 06:28:20 am »

Honestly, Jackd. LGBTQ based activities are a good way to meet platonic friends as well
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« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2016, 06:37:19 am »


Also, at least here in Germany, it seems that our local hacker spaces have much higher than usual share in openly gay people. I have some ideas why that might be, but I'm still not sure why.



What are your ideas? I'm curious?  Smiley
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« Reply #13 on: July 07, 2016, 11:20:14 pm »

in GYM  forsure  Grin
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« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2016, 12:48:46 am »

i fund my first friend in gaybar !
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« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2016, 11:54:21 pm »

and also i fund the another gay friend in my language institute
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« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2016, 10:06:50 pm »

alot were hook ups, that turned into friends
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« Reply #17 on: July 16, 2016, 06:24:19 am »

I might want to add that I met my best friend in a dating site. We started seeing each other for sex, but never really developed into a serious relationship. We got really found of eachother nevertheless, and it's been about 4 years since the last time we had sex, but we still talk pretty much everyday and hangout every week.
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« Reply #18 on: July 16, 2016, 08:27:31 am »

Platonic gay friends, in highschool, college and now in my work
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« Reply #19 on: July 20, 2016, 05:53:01 am »

A public park at night.
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