What Should I do?
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« on: August 07, 2016, 07:56:53 pm »

I'm 26 years old, my partner is 51 years old and we've been dating for 5 years now and living together for 2 years. I always have been strictly attracted for big guys, I met him online and he was weighting +330lbs and since we started living together he joined (without talking to me) some sort of therapy to lose some weight because he was having a lot of health issues, high blood pressure, diabetes and etc… Fair enough. I love to see he ditched all the medicines he was taking, trust me, it was A LOT! Now he got all the lifestyle he never had and now he’s all about running, exercises, buying new clothes and stuff, getting a huge amount of happiness.

But, the problem (for me) is that he lost +170lbs! Ironically he’s skinnier than me (211lbs) and sadly I lost all the desire I once had for him. Actually he became a huge turn off with all that skinny belly, hand and face… It’s been 3 months now that we don’t have sex, I keep finding excuses because I’m tired of finding ways to get hard with him when we are going to have sex, I need to concentrate and think about chubby guys and everything, it’s so lame and shameful… 

I need some sort of advice, I love him more than anything else, he’s so caring, kind and passionate about me, he’s the boyfriend/husband everyone ever wanted, but I need to get rid of this big huge white elephant inside this room.
Thanks!
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« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2016, 12:36:00 am »

I feel you, but I have to say that your options are limited.

Theoretically, one of the success keys in a relationship is honesty and communication. Considering this, you should probably talk to him and try together to find a common accepted solution... I know this is hard... I am not an alien. But this is the right thing to do, cause in a relationship you don't take decisions by yourself, but you decide with your partner.

Someone would respond: Ok, let him talk to his partner, but what could they do about it? What difference it would make? Well, as I said in the start, your options are limited.

One option would be to continue as friends, another option to change the relationship type to an open relationship. Terrible choices if you ask me, because I don't think it's easy if you love someone and share your life with him to end the relationship.. But there are no miracle solutions, is it possible that he would earn some weight again?

Anyway, I wish you the best, and sorry for not being of much help.
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« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2016, 10:15:14 am »

Before you read my piece, please take no offense in what I'm going to say

Are you referring to your partner as "White Elephant" ? If you truly love him, then you must accept all the "good" changes about him physically. What is wrong in staying healthy and thus prolong his longevity?

Would you rather see him "big" but with so many illnesses or fit so that he can be with you for a long time?

It seems that you only love him just as long as he is "big"......
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