If I never come out of closet...
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« on: September 28, 2016, 08:00:35 pm »

Can I live in closet all my life? I am 22 and still cant tell people that I am gay. I have no guts to face my family. Will I be unhappy forever? Do I need to get out to be happy?
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« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2016, 09:44:18 pm »

You have to answer that question yourself. You don't sound very happy and you probably know the answer already.

Have you already told some friends? That can be helpful.
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« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2016, 10:57:27 pm »

I think happiness comes within but if you cant fulfil your desire then perhaps it is hard i mean i am in the closet 22 i do sometimes think it would be easier finding someone that is gay and just speaking to them perhaps that what i will do
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« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2016, 11:13:49 pm »

The answer is within you.

Being honest, coming out is not the same for everyone.  Some have positive experiences while others don't.  Also coming out depends on your sociological background and customs (I would never advice coming out if you're in a country that persecutes and kills gay people)

Though...you can decide to whom you come out.  You don't need to preach your gayness to every person in the street.  A progressive approach to coming out can help you establish a support group of friends in case coming out to your family goes awry.

Also, you're 22.  Probably you're in high school/college.  If you fear your family and friends turning their back on you if you come out (and some will do...and it will hurt like hell...but you'll know who truly loves you no matter who you are) I suggest you work up into getting financially self sufficient first (Having a job that helps you rent a place of your own)
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« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2016, 11:46:57 pm »

The answer is within you.

Being honest, coming out is not the same for everyone.  Some have positive experiences while others don't.  Also coming out depends on your sociological background and customs (I would never advice coming out if you're in a country that persecutes and kills gay people)

Though...you can decide to whom you come out.  You don't need to preach your gayness to every person in the street.  A progressive approach to coming out can help you establish a support group of friends in case coming out to your family goes awry.

Also, you're 22.  Probably you're in high school/college.  If you fear your family and friends turning their back on you if you come out (and some will do...and it will hurt like hell...but you'll know who truly loves you no matter who you are) I suggest you work up into getting financially self sufficient first (Having a job that helps you rent a place of your own)
I agree
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« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2016, 11:47:43 pm »

I am 21 and i came out to almost all of my friends! is liberating! but the family, however is another story Crazy?
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« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2016, 12:04:25 am »

I'm 19 and recently came out to a handful of my really close friends. Thankfully, they all accepted me openly. I only came out to them because I was going through a lot and felt distant from them. After coming out, as cliche as it is, it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I now feel open and less held back knowing they really know who I am. I don't plan to come out to my family anytime soon or at least until I'm financially independent.

If you are happy right now, there's no need to really come out. If you're considering coming out, think about who are more likely to accept and make sure you truly accept yourself for who you are because there's nothing wrong with liking the same gender.

Coming out doesn't mean you change. It just means whoever you're coming out to knows a little more of you.
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« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2016, 06:24:40 pm »

Like they say "You're as sick as your secrets"
Keeping stuff bottled up inside is not healthy
But personally I think your sexual orientation is nobody's business.
But if it makes you unhappy It's better to share it with somebody.
They say "A problem shared is a problem half solved"

You might be surprised from the outcome
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« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2016, 07:16:38 pm »

to be honest I think your sexuality is nobody's business! I'm not out but also I don't see myself " in the closet" I see myself as a private person what's the point of telling people you like dicks Cheesy and you already know that some of them ( if not most) will not get it or understand it at all because they aren't in your shoes! I think it's better to just live normally and don't make your happiness depends on others! if you accepted yourself then you're already happy you don't need to share your information to be happy. I tried it once with my straight best friend and told him I'm gay even though he was cool about it but I felt SO ridiculous and I wish I could take it back. nobody needs to know what I'm into really!
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« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2017, 05:27:40 am »

OH SNAP
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« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2017, 05:35:23 am »

@PumpingMuscl If that works for you then great. I agree that it's theoretically no-one's business. However, not putting it out there to the people who know there can cause a chilling effect on personal relationships. In my case coming out was about making it possible to have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend (i.e. not hiding his existence from all my friends and family).
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« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2017, 10:52:15 am »

Do you need to come out to be happy? Yes.
But you won't truly understand that until you've come out..
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« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2017, 03:20:53 pm »

you gotta make sure urself r comfortable for whatever decision you make first
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« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2017, 12:53:14 am »

I think I will do that at least for a long time if not forever. I do not consider coming out until a time comes when the people I know and care about now are no longer with me or close to me. As everyone said, it is different for everyone and you are the only one who is able to properly balance pros and cons.
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« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2017, 03:33:49 am »

You can talk to friends if you are not ready to talk to your family. You can also try to live alone and act as you like. Take care  with love
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« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2017, 04:32:09 am »

...I would never have truly lived.
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« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2017, 02:06:05 am »

This was my biggest fear for quite awhile, not being able to come out and be free. However, once I became financially independent, it was much easier to do so since I had back up incase shit hit the fan.
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« Reply #17 on: July 04, 2017, 05:59:17 am »

All depends on the person you want to be. Can you live a life in secret and lie's and still be happy? Some people can but I have never seen it work long term. All secrets eventually come out.
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« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2017, 03:01:18 am »

It all depends. Is it safe for you to come out? What will the repercussions be if you do come out? Will you get kicked out of your home (if you live with family), will they not support you? If that is the case- maybe when you are financially stable and independent you can come out. In the end, if you lose friends because of your sexual orientation, then they weren't true friends to begin with. If it will make you happier, then do it.
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« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2017, 12:44:34 pm »

it is very difficult in my opinion to live entirely in the closet for all you life.For me it is about honesty and truth.I mean, sooner or later, you have to have real friends, and if you want to have real friends, you have to be honest with them and BE YOURSELF with them!!
As for your family, they don't really have to know, but you would feel really comfortable telling them.But you must consider the consequences first!!
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