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« on: October 19, 2016, 12:17:28 am »

As a personal experiment, I haven't jerk off in three days for now, and I went to NoFap community to ask something that I'm curious about the lifestyle of those that really get into that. But it seems that no one wanted to answer. I'm going to ask the same here, and I hope that you can answer thinking in “what would I do If I ever start this commitment of quitting PMO...?” So, this is gonna be a hypothetical question and I expect honest answers.  police

P.S.: PMO is porn, masturbation & orgasm.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2016, 12:19:58 am by (Hidden) » Logged



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« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2016, 05:39:19 am »

I've seen many people talking about that and accepting the challenge. But honestly, I don't really get the point of it. What is it about no fap? Is it only because it's such a hard thing to do? Fapping is so good! Hahahaha
I have thought, though, about leaving porn for some short periods of time - but that has an actual reason: I think that sometimes porn occupies too much time in my life, time that I could use for better, more productive things. So, I can get the logic of quiting porn. But a quick fap in the shower or before sleep? It's actually harmless.
But I'm curious to read some answers here. I want to understand that =)
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« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2016, 06:24:18 am »

I have abstained from sex for a period of 10 months before. There is no way in hell though I'd give up PMO for like a day.  Cheesy

Although I think I recall a friend of mine giving up sex/jerking off for lent. Thought he was crazy but the lengths some people do to please a Jesus or two. 
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Doh! Gotta be like Kyle and get off the soapbox and lay off the speeches! Yikes Smiley
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« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2016, 03:16:21 pm »

I think it's more in terms of people who are on porn overload. Where someone has issues having sex because they need the porn or something.
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« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2016, 10:16:38 pm »

I've seen many people talking about that and accepting the challenge. But honestly, I don't really get the point of it. What is it about no fap? Is it only because it's such a hard thing to do? Fapping is so good! Hahahaha
I have thought, though, about leaving porn for some short periods of time - but that has an actual reason: I think that sometimes porn occupies too much time in my life, time that I could use for better, more productive things. So, I can get the logic of quiting porn. But a quick fap in the shower or before sleep? It's actually harmless.
But I'm curious to read some answers here. I want to understand that =)

Well, they say that fapping lets to many undesirable consequences. A guy said this, for instance: At this point, porn only leaves me with a sick feeling of guilt and shame. Never again, I'm done.

Another one said this also: I'm 19, never been in a relationship, or even kissed a girl. And I want to badly. NoFap helped bring me to Earth and show me how much I crave human interaction and the touch of another person. But even then, I still struggle with intense social anxiety and awkwardness around women. I tried online dating sites but rarely does someone ever seem interested. I constantly look forward to trying to improve myself socially and physically, but still, it seems too difficult for me. I want help, it makes me feel depressed

And the thing goes on and on.

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« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2016, 10:32:56 pm »

Talking about myself, I also have feelings of guilt and shame in those moments after cumming. And, some times, I even cry when I'm stil jerking off before all my cum go out my body. I feel much more alone after fapping, too. From time to time, I broadcast in cam4 and Chaturbate just to feel less lonely, even if the only guys that write me usually are a lot older (like I could call them “dad” or “grandfather”).

I still think that everything gonna be fine when I finally find the right guy, but everyday I'm more resigned to the idea of “you'll stay alone till you die”. I'm neurotic, a psychologist told me so before quitting the treatment, explaining that she felt incapable of helping me. That's probably the reason no guy stand me for more than a few months.

So, yeah, maybe I should embrace POM as the only way of trying to satisfy my needs. Even if I need love more than sex.  Sad
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« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2016, 05:10:36 am »

Frankly, it's unhealthy to artificially create this restriction on yourself. It's not comparable to resisting the urge for a doughnut or a little bag of potato chips ... you're SUPPOSED to ejaculate, and regularly (like, daily, no joke). If you don't have a current partner available to help meet this need, that doesn't really matter -- you need to do what you need to do to be a psychologically healthy man. Feeling shame over your own need to let loose is not psychologically healthy.

The rough equivalent of what you're doing to yourself is like a person who wants to lose weight simply deciding to stop eating. It doesn't work, and it's not a ticket for "health."

http://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/news/20040406/frequent-ejaculation-prostate

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Not-Ejaculating-is-Very-Dangerous-to-Men-039-s-Health-43586.shtml

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ejaculation-frequency-could-have-serious-consequences-for-mens-health_us_571e557de4b0d0042da9e154

http://themodernsavage.com/2009/05/01/fapping-with-4chan/

Failing to ejaculate at least once per day, as a healthy male in prime reproductive years, CAUSES your body to begin diminishing the rate at which it produces testosterone. This is not something you want -- it comes with all sorts of negative consequences:

http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/health-benefits-more-frequent-ejaculations

http://www.healthline.com/health/side-effects-of-low-testosterone

To the young people that talk about their feelings of shame, those who go on that subreddit:

True addiction to masturbation (using the definition of "addiction" to mean that you literally can't make it to work, or function in any other aspect of your life, because your need to have your hand on your dick is so great that you'd be willing to call in sick to jerk it all day) is exceedingly rare. That subreddit isn't about the very, very small minority of true porn addicts. Most of what drives that subreddit is based in guilt and culturally ingrained feelings of shame. It's people who blame all that's going wrong in their romantic lives on what they do to relieve their perfectly natural, perfectly normal, internal sexual pressure by themselves.

Again, if you're not whipping it out at work because you can't stop yourself, or trembling with the effort of self-control in public (as an example, food addicts often experience those things) -- you don't have a problem with this.

As for what they preach about it "increasing energy," productivity, emotional health, yadda yadda ... BUNK. None of that is backed up with the actual good science out there on the subject. What those people are experiencing is relief from internalized emotional pressures. They never were quite able to shake off the cultural programming of seeing something wrong or shameful in the behavior.

/r/NoFap is one of the subreddits that do a lot more harm than good. Even letting yourself go down this road of thinking is you hurting yourself. Please stop hurting yourself with this nonsense -- it's only making your personal journey harder. Don't go back to that subreddit, don't post there again, and IMMEDIATELY call a halt to your personal experiment. That's my advice.

Jerk it when you need to. Give up on this idea of it "being bad to do" completely. You're extremely young, and it's a lot more normal than you think it is to have never had a long-lasting relationship at your age that included a sexual aspect. To try to blame your fondness for venting off steam on your own for your current loneliness, you're on the wrong track completely -- the two things are not related. I promise.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 05:38:47 am by (Hidden) » Logged
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« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2016, 10:44:35 pm »

Frankly, it's unhealthy to artificially create this restriction on yourself. It's not comparable to resisting the urge for a doughnut or a little bag of potato chips ... you're SUPPOSED to ejaculate, and regularly (like, daily, no joke). If you don't have a current partner available to help meet this need, that doesn't really matter -- you need to do what you need to do to be a psychologically healthy man. Feeling shame over your own need to let loose is not psychologically healthy.

The rough equivalent of what you're doing to yourself is like a person who wants to lose weight simply deciding to stop eating. It doesn't work, and it's not a ticket for "health."

http://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/news/20040406/frequent-ejaculation-prostate

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Not-Ejaculating-is-Very-Dangerous-to-Men-039-s-Health-43586.shtml

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ejaculation-frequency-could-have-serious-consequences-for-mens-health_us_571e557de4b0d0042da9e154

http://themodernsavage.com/2009/05/01/fapping-with-4chan/

Failing to ejaculate at least once per day, as a healthy male in prime reproductive years, CAUSES your body to begin diminishing the rate at which it produces testosterone. This is not something you want -- it comes with all sorts of negative consequences:

http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/health-benefits-more-frequent-ejaculations

http://www.healthline.com/health/side-effects-of-low-testosterone

To the young people that talk about their feelings of shame, those who go on that subreddit:

True addiction to masturbation (using the definition of "addiction" to mean that you literally can't make it to work, or function in any other aspect of your life, because your need to have your hand on your dick is so great that you'd be willing to call in sick to jerk it all day) is exceedingly rare. That subreddit isn't about the very, very small minority of true porn addicts. Most of what drives that subreddit is based in guilt and culturally ingrained feelings of shame. It's people who blame all that's going wrong in their romantic lives on what they do to relieve their perfectly natural, perfectly normal, internal sexual pressure by themselves.

Again, if you're not whipping it out at work because you can't stop yourself, or trembling with the effort of self-control in public (as an example, food addicts often experience those things) -- you don't have a problem with this.

As for what they preach about it "increasing energy," productivity, emotional health, yadda yadda ... BUNK. None of that is backed up with the actual good science out there on the subject. What those people are experiencing is relief from internalized emotional pressures. They never were quite able to shake off the cultural programming of seeing something wrong or shameful in the behavior.

/r/NoFap is one of the subreddits that do a lot more harm than good. Even letting yourself go down this road of thinking is you hurting yourself. Please stop hurting yourself with this nonsense -- it's only making your personal journey harder. Don't go back to that subreddit, don't post there again, and IMMEDIATELY call a halt to your personal experiment. That's my advice.

Jerk it when you need to. Give up on this idea of it "being bad to do" completely. You're extremely young, and it's a lot more normal than you think it is to have never had a long-lasting relationship at your age that included a sexual aspect. To try to blame your fondness for venting off steam on your own for your current loneliness, you're on the wrong track completely -- the two things are not related. I promise.

Well, I'm certainly will take time to read all the links that you shared with me.

The thing is that I'm currently having forced holidays bc I'm not gonna start college until January of 2017, so these past few weeks I only had been jerking off (like 4 or 5 times per day) and watching TV shows or movies. I was actually scared that doing it too much per day would do a harm to my dick or the capacity of getting hard.

And that's why I stopped doing it since the beginning of this week, but... Idk. I guess that I'm still confused.
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« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2016, 10:59:10 pm »


Well, I'm certainly will take time to read all the links that you shared with me.

The thing is that I'm currently having forced holidays bc I'm not gonna start college until January of 2017, so these past few weeks I only had been jerking off (like 4 or 5 times per day) and watching TV shows or movies. I was actually scared that doing it too much per day would do a harm to my dick or the capacity of getting hard.

And that's why I stopped doing it since the beginning of this week, but... Idk. I guess that I'm still confused.

I doubt there are severe long-term consequences to jacking off that many times, especially for a young person.  I definitely was that horny from 15 onwards. Perhaps only performance anxiety when having sex (maintaining proper stimulation to remain hard or to cum) can be attributed to porn overload, but then it's more psychological than physical. 

Lately, I've been getting into edging so make my jerk off sessions from quick cums to a long rollercoaster of fun  Cheers
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Doh! Gotta be like Kyle and get off the soapbox and lay off the speeches! Yikes Smiley
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« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2016, 10:59:45 pm »

4 to 5 times a day? Sounds like someone has an extremely high sexual appetite. Theres nothing wrong with that just don't let it rule your life like you need to take time out of doing other things to masturbate.
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« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2016, 11:21:22 pm »

NoFap is ridiculous Puritan bunk!
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« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2016, 12:00:03 am »

4 to 5 times a day? Sounds like someone has an extremely high sexual appetite. Theres nothing wrong with that just don't let it rule your life like you need to take time out of doing other things to masturbate.

This a good advice, certainly!

Sometimes I feel like I could do different things with my free time instead of jerking off always. I use to read a lot before, and nowadays I almost do it just for a duty and not for pleasure. I use to write some short stories too, and I left that too saying to myself that no one of those writings worth anything... So yeah. I feel like a rabbit just thinking in sex in my free time.
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« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2016, 03:52:29 am »

I've always gone with the philosophy of simply doing it when I felt like it, and it's always worked for me. I never choose to not do something productive or fun socially so I can jerk off instead (frankly, I can do it quickly if I need to and get it out of the way).

Do it when you need to. Stop worrying about it, bud. ;-)
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« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2016, 04:45:11 am »

I've always gone with the philosophy of simply doing it when I felt like it, and it's always worked for me. I never choose to not do something productive or fun socially so I can jerk off instead (frankly, I can do it quickly if I need to and get it out of the way).

Do it when you need to. Stop worrying about it, bud. ;-)

The funny thing is that I don't really feel the need of jerking off until I see a little bit of porn. So, it's not the same as feeling hungry or something. If I don't see two handsome guys kissing each other or more, nothing happens.  blush
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« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2016, 06:00:19 am »

When I was in high school, I remembered had this challenge, no jerking at all as long as its possible (but I don't really remember why I did it, guilty feeling, cold, idk). So, I crossed the date on my calendar with red marker every morning. The first week its the worst, but after a month it was almost felt like 'usual' (no need or feeling of jerking anymore).

But, it broke eventually after about 2.5 months of red crossing my calendar. Learning from that experience, I was probably on my unsecured state as my teenage world overcome me. Now, jacking off is one of sexual lifestyle, which mean I don't think that I could live without jacking for a long time. I do it because I need it, that's part when I feel free.

Just sharing an experience here.
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« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2016, 03:28:42 pm »

When I was in high school, I remembered had this challenge, no jerking at all as long as its possible (but I don't really remember why I did it, guilty feeling, cold, idk). So, I crossed the date on my calendar with red marker every morning. The first week its the worst, but after a month it was almost felt like 'usual' (no need or feeling of jerking anymore).

But, it broke eventually after about 2.5 months of red crossing my calendar. Learning from that experience, I was probably on my unsecured state as my teenage world overcome me. Now, jacking off is one of sexual lifestyle, which mean I don't think that I could live without jacking for a long time. I do it because I need it, that's part when I feel free.

Just sharing an experience here.

And do you always do it while seeing porn or do you like to fantasize yourself from time to time?
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« Reply #16 on: October 22, 2016, 05:44:32 am »

Quote
The funny thing is that I don't really feel the need of jerking off until I see a little bit of porn.

Well, you're a guy, like all of us. It's normal for us to be "triggered" with visuals. The only answer I have for you is a return question ... so what?

So what? What difference does it make if the visual lights the fire inside of you? The day that I no longer got horny by watching two handsome men kissing ... mark that day as the one in which I want to stop living. Why does it matter what starts the process rolling? Some people need to bring something to read (or their phones) into the bathroom in order to relax enough to have a bowel movement, too ... does that mean the outside stimulus is "unnatural" and should be avoided? Or ... does it mean, that it's simply an aid to help trigger your body's natural responses in order to do something healthy and good for yourself?

I think that our wild(er) male ancestors were genetically programmed to be that way, triggered by what they see, because everywhere they looked ... there were sexually appealing partners, nude or in loincloths. Without organized religion and judgemental overseers that made all sorts of arbitrary cultural rules surrounding sex, I'm willing to bet sexual openness was a lot less dramatic, too (as in, if you look to your left, you'll see a couple "doing it" with no shame). To be turned on by what's taken in by your eyeballs was simply the shortest evolutionary route to making sure that the male gender was going to be as cum-ready as possible. If your species' survival depends on men with boners, how are your eventual genes going to learn how to trigger said boners? Probably ... when you visually recognize a situation in which you would get to actually USE that boner.  laugh

Bottom line, when you do finally nab that cute boyfriend, his live, warm presence ... the sight of him naked in front of you, the smells of him, the sound of him, the sensation of him, is going to be the best "porn" of your life. Using porn to jerk off with is not a reason for you to worry -- you're not ruining yourself. Again, I promise you this -- I've had sexual partners from both genders in my lifetime (actually, even a FTM transgender), and I continue to enjoy porn alone (or even with my partners, if we both want to watch a little). I was always able to meet the need of the moment, even if I had fapped twice the night before to something on my computer. It's a non-factor.



In fact, my firm habit of making sure I cum at least once a day, and not fighting myself over it if I feel like more, is part of why I can do that. My testicle-testosterone-cum-factory is in healthy working condition, because I've exercised it enough to keep it that way (in my early 30s now). I can fap or fuck live any day I want to. This isn't a bad thing, friend.  Wink

I'm also not saying that I'm just a free-loving slut, either. I want monogamous love, just like you do, and I've had it before. I actually haven't had sex in over a year, because I'm recovering from a heartbreak ... but I'm about over it and ready to get back out there. No sex doesn't mean I stop cumming, though. I absolutely will NOT give up jerking off. I just don't worry about it if I'm meeting my sexual needs without shame in the interim moments.

Here's a couple of fun articles on what our closest genetic relatives, bonobo chimpanzees, act like to keep social balance and psychological happiness in their little tribes (hint: the key is lots of sexual venting, and lots of that sex is actually what we would call "gay").

https://psmag.com/bonobos-have-lots-of-sex-are-awesome-may-hold-key-to-our-past-d89e75f7d5a3#.j4w83hnwu
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/bonobo-sex-and-society-2006-06/

And a video to a documentary on our sexuality, in which bonobos are mentioned:

https://youtu.be/oyOZyN88RBU?t=40s
« Last Edit: October 22, 2016, 06:12:36 am by (Hidden) » Logged
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« Reply #17 on: October 22, 2016, 08:00:22 am »

And do you always do it while seeing porn or do you like to fantasize yourself from time to time?

When I was in high school, its hard to find porn, so fantasize was the best scenario. Now, I'm jerking off while watching some porn about 2 times a week.
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« Reply #18 on: October 22, 2016, 11:07:17 am »

Quote
The funny thing is that I don't really feel the need of jerking off until I see a little bit of porn.

Bottom line, when you do finally nab that cute boyfriend, his live, warm presence ... the sight of him naked in front of you, the smells of him, the sound of him, the sensation of him, is going to be the best "porn" of your life.

Well, I kind of know this from experience, bc even when I only had three bfs till now (now all ex's, of course), when I was with each one of them, I didn't even need to jerk off bc their kisses and hugs were all I wanted. The only thing that I regret to not doing it so much is cuddling, bc with my first bf I had the best beauty sleep while I was in his arms.  
« Last Edit: October 22, 2016, 11:10:04 am by (Hidden) » Logged



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« Reply #19 on: October 22, 2016, 11:11:39 am »

And do you always do it while seeing porn or do you like to fantasize yourself from time to time?

When I was in high school, its hard to find porn, so fantasize was the best scenario. Now, I'm jerking off while watching some porn about 2 times a week.

Oh ok. Nice  Wink
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