Being gay in the 80s vs 90s vs 00s vs Now ??
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« on: October 27, 2016, 11:42:36 pm »

To anyone who was an adult in the 80a and the 90s ... Can you tell me how was it back then ?
I want How was living in the 80s and 90s vs now ??

I mean remembering in 2008 i thought that Same sex marriage Will NEVER see the daylight ..
So i want to know your P.O.V of How life was back then AS AN ADULT vs now ..

If you may please tell me .
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« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2016, 01:05:06 am »

In terms of then and now one must also take into consideration the where in order to get a true picture.  Being raised in Northern British Columbia, Canada, as a young gay teen, one was definitely in the closet or you were ganged up and if you were lucky just beaten badly and if not so luckily you could easily end up dead   It wasn't an issue you could talk to your parents about or anyone for that matter.  So many young teens ended up in psych facilities so they could be cured or end up in a juvenile centre for as long as it took to cure you of this horrible sickness (there words.. not mine).  At the age of 15 1/2 I ran away from home to Alberta because the age to be considered an adult there was 16 and I hoped I could hide out from my family.  If I had only known that Alberta was more homophobic than where I came from.  Still in the closet I tried to live my life under the radar of the homophobic community and fortunately for me made some friends in the underground gay community who taught me how to live my life and the things I needed to do to keep out of the homophobic eye.

Unfortunately all the hiding did was sent me into confusion and I worked so hard to fit into the straight crowd that I ended up married.  Fortunately for me my wife became my best friend and our life wasn't bad.... just not the life I would have chosen if being gay was more accepted.  We had 3 children and I stayed faithful to my marriage vows for 29 years until one day I just knew that I couldn't continue to live a lie and asked for a divorce. As I said, my wife was also my best friend and worked with me to bring our children, our friends and relatives up to date.  Some people were pissed that I had lied to them all that time, but most understood that I was also lying to myself.  I wish I could say they all remained friends, but that was not the case.  Most did, but these were people who I just knew would support me in my coming out and others that didn't want anything to do with me again. My kids were surprised but supportive with my son constantly bugging me to get a boyfriend. 

That's when my life began  for true, at 50yrs old, basically starting all over.  I ended up selling my business and moving to Montreal.  The gay pride flag hangs from my balcony 365 days a year and all my neighbors are great people and slowly becoming great friends as well.  I live an openly gay lifestyle now and love my life.

Not sure if this is what you are looking for, hope it helps.  If I had to do it all over again I must admit that with all the bad came my 3 kids, worth every minute of the hassle and would do it the same all over IN THOSE TIMES.  If it was today I would move forward in live as a gay man knowing I can have children and a loving partner and be true to myself. True
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« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2016, 01:40:00 am »

Great post, Bluesurfer!
I spent the 80's and 90's in Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and France. Urban areas of Canada were less threatening than Bluesurfer described, but still in Ottawa in the 80's it was definitely something I had to keep hidden from my employers. But the downtown core areas of Toronto, Ottawa and especially Montreal were pretty tolerant outside of the office.
Had a few issues in France, but outside of the usual haunts. Back in the Marais district of Paris people were pretty open and accepting. You just didn't have to move too far out of there to find lots that weren't.
In the late 90's, my partner and I left France and moved to Toronto, and within a year my new employer voluntarily introduced same-sex benefits and signed up my partner for full coverage. After that, our attitudes changed to "people are just going to have to deal with us". My job was secure, our benefits were secure, and now HR had our back. Again, this is in downtown Toronto, and things were certainly different in other regions of Canada. And clearly Canada as a whole was a bit ahead of most of the world at the time, save northern Europe.
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« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2016, 01:56:49 am »

In terms of then and now one must also take into consideration the where in order to get a true picture.  Being raised in Northern British Columbia, Canada, as a young gay teen, one was definitely in the closet or you were ganged up and if you were lucky just beaten badly and if not so luckily you could easily end up dead   It wasn't an issue you could talk to your parents about or anyone for that matter.  So many young teens ended up in psych facilities so they could be cured or end up in a juvenile centre for as long as it took to cure you of this horrible sickness (there words.. not mine).  At the age of 15 1/2 I ran away from home to Alberta because the age to be considered an adult there was 16 and I hoped I could hide out from my family.  If I had only known that Alberta was more homophobic than where I came from.  Still in the closet I tried to live my life under the radar of the homophobic community and fortunately for me made some friends in the underground gay community who taught me how to live my life and the things I needed to do to keep out of the homophobic eye.

Unfortunately all the hiding did was sent me into confusion and I worked so hard to fit into the straight crowd that I ended up married.  Fortunately for me my wife became my best friend and our life wasn't bad.... just not the life I would have chosen if being gay was more accepted.  We had 3 children and I stayed faithful to my marriage vows for 29 years until one day I just knew that I couldn't continue to live a lie and asked for a divorce. As I said, my wife was also my best friend and worked with me to bring our children, our friends and relatives up to date.  Some people were pissed that I had lied to them all that time, but most understood that I was also lying to myself.  I wish I could say they all remained friends, but that was not the case.  Most did, but these were people who I just knew would support me in my coming out and others that didn't want anything to do with me again. My kids were surprised but supportive with my son constantly bugging me to get a boyfriend. 

That's when my life began  for true, at 50yrs old, basically starting all over.  I ended up selling my business and moving to Montreal.  The gay pride flag hangs from my balcony 365 days a year and all my neighbors are great people and slowly becoming great friends as well.  I live an openly gay lifestyle now and love my life.

Not sure if this is what you are looking for, hope it helps.  If I had to do it all over again I must admit that with all the bad came my 3 kids, worth every minute of the hassle and would do it the same all over IN THOSE TIMES.  If it was today I would move forward in live as a gay man knowing I can have children and a loving partner and be true to myself. True

Yes i'm sorry i want to hear from everyone's point of view , Country doesn't matter .
Also was that in the 80s ?

Also thank you for the reply it . IT really Hurts to know you could fear for your life but i know what you mean by that !!
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« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2016, 02:02:17 am »

Great post, Bluesurfer!
I spent the 80's and 90's in Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and France. Urban areas of Canada were less threatening than Bluesurfer described, but still in Ottawa in the 80's it was definitely something I had to keep hidden from my employers. But the downtown core areas of Toronto, Ottawa and especially Montreal were pretty tolerant outside of the office.
Had a few issues in France, but outside of the usual haunts. Back in the Marais district of Paris people were pretty open and accepting. You just didn't have to move too far out of there to find lots that weren't.
In the late 90's, my partner and I left France and moved to Toronto, and within a year my new employer voluntarily introduced same-sex benefits and signed up my partner for full coverage. After that, our attitudes changed to "people are just going to have to deal with us". My job was secure, our benefits were secure, and now HR had our back. Again, this is in downtown Toronto, and things were certainly different in other regions of Canada. And clearly Canada as a whole was a bit ahead of most of the world at the time, save northern Europe.

i know in the late 90s people were more open to the idea of gay people , what i want to ask is Do you all had fun in that time ??
Do you think Dating was More fun Than now ? OR do you like Now is better ??
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« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2016, 12:31:46 pm »

So . no one wants to talk about their stories ?
Come now people don't be shy  Wink
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« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2016, 03:23:49 pm »

Dating was different in the 80s/90s, even in a town like Berlin.

I think for some it was about the forbidden fruit because it wasn't widly accepted to be gay or people were forced to REALLY look at the other person (part of it because of the AIDS fear).
So people in the community talked more to each other (forced or not), which I prefer to the modern times with call a dick apps.

I had more fun in the 90's because people were more relaxed, real friends (read FRIENDS) with benefits were more common than nowadays and porn was present, but not a roadmap of how sex should be.

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« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2016, 04:11:14 pm »

Dating was way more fun in the 90s, up to the late 2000, I'd say. There's always a part of it's so wrong, but it feels right kind of feeling and it was such a huge turn on. Also, people would mingle in the pubs, in book stores, in Tower Records, in gyms, etc. It was that semi forbidden feeling that made it so great. There were different outlets as well, e.g. support groups or Chorus. Like someone said, it was a friendlier time. These days, first of all, age and time has no mercy. I have never won the genetic God lottery to begin with, though I look excellent at my age, when the young boys see my profile on click a date apps, they automatically have that wall. Oh, you are OLD.  blow nose It's hard to imagine, I can hardly call these hook ups 'dates'. They are merely hook ups, let's fuck and then say good bye. Don't tell me your name either. So for that part, I really miss the dating scene. The days when we'd start with a hello at a mutual spot, shake hands and talk polite. That smile, that glance, did I dress right? did I look OK? When can I hold his hand? Is it OK to kiss him? That's what makes dating exciting. Then you move on to exploring each other, both sexually and non sexually. I had made some great friends that way. It is difficult to find someone, or anyone at all on that wave length now.
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« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2016, 04:27:21 pm »

I think it will be hard to get a fair comparison, because it's not just the era, but it's how people experienced dating in their 20's & 30's versus their 50's & 60's.  In other words, anyone who is younger (regardless of the decade) is going to experience dating differently than when they're older.  Time has a way of adding extra ZING to the past, and "The Good Old Days" often seem to have been better.
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« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2016, 04:30:25 pm »

In 1983 I graduated high school. I was 18 and couldnt wait to go down to the gay area where all the gay clubs were. I'll never forget my first night in a gay bar, and they had a big drag show that just amazed me! I was in utter shock that men could put on make up and dresses, and look more like a woman than a real woman! The men was so hot, hotter than I have ever seen, just like in the dirty magazines I had read as a young kid. It was a wonderful night. There was however lots of chatter underneath it all about a really big unknown disease that seemed to be killing gay men.

It was very hard being young and gay and 18 in a southern state. Although it was very progressive in the gay area, there were a lot of bashings and killings that always went unnoticed by the media. The attitude among the masses was "dont be gay, dont get aids" and everyone blamed it on the gay people. I remember people didnt care until it started going into the straight community. All the stories and rumors you have heard over the years about what happened in the AIDS crisis are true. Since that time I have watched so many friends die needlessly. Most of them would probably still be here if we had the meds we have today. Can you imagine when there were none at all? Back then if you went to the doctor with some weird spot on your body, chances are 6 months or a year later, you were dead. I've sat in so many hospitals watching friends take experimental drugs, that made them worse than they were in the beginning, or even kill them because it was something so strong their body just couldnt handle it anymore. I've also watched them die because they had no insurance, and because the doctors were so afraid to come into their room, they had red quarantine tape across the door, and they were just laying in the bed alone, and the staff was waiting for them to die. All the horror stories are true, not myths, they all happened.

I almost feel like my gay youth was taken from me, but thats just an after thought and I had to accept it. I did have some great times at the club, but for many years there was so much we didnt know. Then your hard dick is just driving you nuts the whole time because all you wanna do is suck and fuck, but if you do theres a good chance you will die. What fun huh? I see guys today with all this bareback stuff and all I can think is WTF?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?! After everything we have been thru?

Gay people today are so very very very lucky! You got gay marriage, something my generation thought that would never happen, NEVER! I feel like so many gay people today take that for granted. I dont think they realize everything that happened before that. There were a lot of fights and deaths over gay rights. I talk to young gays today, and it shocks/scares me the things they dont know about or never heard of.

Gay life in the 1980's could've been great, I'm sure it was for so many, but for me it was very hard because in a time when I should've been running wild thru the sweat peas and kicking up my heels, we all had to worry about what was safe, and not safe, and what was true/false information, and you had to sift thru it all on our own, because our government abandoned us.

Holy smokes can you young guys imagine, going out to a gay bar, and the whole time standing there wondering who had the ticking time bomb inside them, and was this your night to catch it, and then possibly pass it on to others? No one knew because there was no test to see who had it, you could be full blown with no T cell count and look like a million dollars, and then in a week laying in a hospital bed, sheets soaked with sweat, tubes hanging out of your arms and one stuck down your throat, and oxygen mask on your face.

Sorry for not giving you guys a nice hot story about how wild the sex was (it was), and how hot them men were (the hottest), but sadly most of them are dead, and the ones that made it thru we know how lucky we are. We remember how awful it was being gay in the 80's with a nation that mostly thought we brought this on ourselves, and then turned their backs on us.

You young guys are so lucky today. You basically have the yellow brick road to skip down in your red high heels compared to what we had. We had to take the back alleys and back doors, while we dodged baseball bats and fists. It's a different world today compared to how it was for us in the 80's.

Oh let me give you one little nugget. I worked at a gay porn shop while in college and for fun, and it was so funny there! One of my best friends was manager there. I learned so much from the most amazing gay people I have ever met. I learned what happened in the backs of bookstores and arcades. I learned about so much gay culture! I also learned a lot about gay sex and also realized what married men do when wifey is gone or what hubby lies about. That part was kinda shocking at first. One of my close friends her father came in one day, and I looked up and he was looking right in my face. He just turned around and walked out after he saw me LOL They were weekly raids by the police, thank God they never got me, but they would have these long chains with cuffs and they would cuff like 10 guys together and then put them in the paddy wagon. Oh and in case you're wondering, the police would come in and take everyone they could for public lewdness, hoping to ruin their records so they would never come back. No, they arent supposed to do that BUT in the 1980's you couldnt fight it because #1 the law at the time said that homosexuality was a crime, and you couldnt be in the back of a porn store sucking cock or getting your ass fucked. We had a lot of fun with each other though, and we were pranksters on everyone. We had video cameras in the arcades and theaters, and we could see what was going on, so sometimes we would wait until someone was in the middle of the theater about to blow a big load for everyone, and we would turn the lights on full bright so when they came, everyone would come screaming out of the arcades, because they thought the vice squad was coming in, so we had some laughs.  Evil

Sorry for yet another of my long posts. Cannabis makes me type a lot  Cheesy

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« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2016, 05:05:57 pm »

Gay life in the 1980's could've been great, I'm sure it was for so many, but for me it was very hard because in a time when I should've been running wild thru the sweat peas and kicking up my heels, we all had to worry about what was safe, and not safe, and what was true/false information, and you had to sift thru it all on our own, because our government abandoned us.

Holy smokes can you young guys imagine, going out to a gay bar, and the whole time standing there wondering who had the ticking time bomb inside them, and was this your night to catch it, and then possibly pass it on to others? No one knew because there was no test to see who had it, you could be full blown with no T cell count and look like a million dollars, and then in a week laying in a hospital bed, sheets soaked with sweat, tubes hanging out of your arms and one stuck down your throat, and oxygen mask on your face.

Sorry for not giving you guys a nice hot story about how wild the sex was (it was), and how hot them men were (the hottest), but sadly most of them are dead, and the ones that made it thru we know how lucky we are. We remember how awful it was being gay in the 80's with a nation that mostly thought we brought this on ourselves, and then turned their backs on us.

 True
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« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2016, 07:02:17 pm »

I grew up in Tennessee in the late 80s and 90s. It wasn't good at all. I didn't come out until I was 26 years old and only to a few people. Gay people got bashed all the time. It was horrible. 

I'm still not involved in the gay community here. I guess it's just not my scene, but I'm working through all the psychological damage that growing up here did. I still have a hard time accepting myself, but thankfully I have a network of friends that are cool and supportive.
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Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky. - Ojibwe saying
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« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2016, 07:48:25 pm »

I was at a catholic all male boarding school in the UK until I graduated age 18 in 1983. Forget the stories you hear of loads of adolescent experimentation, at least in my school, where there was zero activity. It was like being a kid in a candy shop, being able to look but not touch. I was pretty repressed by the time I left.

As other have mentioned it depends on where you were. The UK is a smallish country, but there were gay bars in most towns and all cities. I went to University in Leeds. At first I was not going to come out, but in my 2nd year I developed a testicular teratoma and once I had recovered after going through the "joys" of chemotherapy, I exploded out of the closet with a blast. I discovered that Leeds had one of the largest gay scenes in the north of England. Nowadays it is Manchester, but in the 80's the Manchester gay scene was tiny - a couple of bars and a club that was gay on certain nights. Leeds main rival was Blackpool and to a lesser extent Newcastle. People would visit on mass at the weekends.

In the 80's the gay scene developed in the parts of town or city that reputable or respectable businesses would not touch. There was definitely a sleaze element to it, though I never saw sex on site myself. The main nightclub was called Rockshots, with themes on 4 or 5 floors. SO pop in the cellar, twinks on 1st floor, leather on the 3rd and can't remember the 4th.

Music was the main thing. The end of disco was merging into HiNrgy, whilst prog rock was taking the mainstream. Donna Summer with I Feel Love was the start, Sylvester, Hazel Dean, Divine, the Weather Girls, Miquel Brown, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Bronski Beat, The Communards and Dead or Alive among others had us spinning round the dance floor like dervishes.

AIDs was starting to be discussed in 82/83. It was still an American disease, with the first UK death in 82, but it was restricted to London and didn't make it northwards for a few years. The Scene of clubs and bars was the main focus and as always it was youth focused. It was a great time to be young and pretty. Sex was plentiful and affairs short-lived. It was certainly not-safe. I think if I was born a few years earlier, I would have suffered from the AIDs epidemic as would probably have gone to San Francisco or New York.

My main recollection of sex in the 80's was that it wasn't very satisfying. It was closer to an addiction, chasing Mr Goodbar and the chase more exciting than the capture. Then the insecurity of "will he call?". 3 weeks was a typical affair, though I met my first partner and we were together for 8 years (not always faithfully).

Gay porn was illegal to own or distribute in the UK through most of the 80's. I got my first taste of video in Europe - probably a bar or nightclub in Bordeaux. The first video I saw was Bigger Than Life and I was instantly hooked on both porn and Jeff Stryker.

Being gay wasn't a problem in itself, but it wasn't helpful if you were in a mainstream job. I was a graduate trainee in operations for Unilever and a 2nd girl from my Uni course also got a position and outed me a week before I arrived. Turned out the Production Director was very homophobic and did his damnest to get me to quit. The way he treated me wouldn't be allowed today. Fortunately the other director's hated him and I was offered a position in marketing to keep me around to piss him off. I was part of the team that launched the Clearblue Pregnancy test worldwide, so I am probably responsible for more women knowing they are pregnant than any other man alive. I also did more useful products, such as Chlamydia kits. I'll never forget taking the artwork for the male swab collection kit around the various directors to sign off - you could see by their body language which ones had personal experience of the collection technique  afraid

For 2 years I exported to Europe and on the frequent trips was able to indulge in my porn video habit. More often than not, I would hit the bath-houses (I did mention sleeping around), until it came home to roost and caused serious damage to the relationship, ultimately ending it in 1994.

I was a bit of a tramp in 94-96, until I met my 2nd serious BF, which lasted 10 years. Having seen the trauma infidelity had caused I was able to commit and remain faithful for all those 14 years (it helps that I was older, the hormones were less active and frankly I had done just about everything I was prepared to do, so a little jaded perhaps). Unfortunately this fidelity was not reciprocated.

In 94-96 I was in Manchester as Canal Street relaunched itself as the gay mecca of the north and probably England. It was a blast. I had several short relationships and many one-nighters. One of them had been particularly insulting in their actions and offended my pride enormously. This was a couple of weeks before the Annual Manchester Pride long weekend. Pride is sort of Mardi Gras. Several blocks are closed off and marquees erected on open carparks which are filled by clubs from nearby cities. My apartment overlooked this so during Pride, you either joined in or went away for the weekend - you wouldn't be sleeping otherwise.

My apartment complex was well designed for the UK regional cities at the time. It was a converted warehouse and included a parking space in security controled garage and a gym, swimming pool, sauna and Jacuzzi for the residents and their guests. Whilst the official party started on Friday, the un-official one started on Thursday night, which I joined. A group of Irish lads had come over and one was the archetypal Oirish boy - short, dark hair, green eyes, killer smile and cute as hell. The next morning, my friends were polite enough to exclaim in disbelief - no way, you couldn't have scored him, you are not good enough!!!!!! If I recall, he was the first of 18 that weekend - I had a lot to work out of my system  Cheesy

A year later, I was in Dublin for business and went into the only gay bar at the time - the George. I mentioned to the regulars that I was from Manchester and there had been a troupe from Dublin at Pride the previous year. They immediately regaled me with tales of this young chap who had scored really well - "He topped off with a Millionaire who took him back to his pent-house apartment with a swimming pool, sauna and Jacuzzi, where they had sex all night!" - the Irish gift of the gab if every you needed evidence of it  Cheers. I was a little crest fallen as it also turned out that he was the local bike  Cry

The rest of the 90's was a little subdued in comparison. All work, the new relationship, a year working in Dublin, which was hell and then the other half getting a job at a top 10 law firm in London, which slowly pulled us apart.

Whilst there were a lot of prejudice and harassment in the 80's we had bigger problems such as unrest with the Unions and Thatcher, the dismantling of our manufacturing industry and the push for finance and services to replace it. The ongoing negotiations in Europe. Being gay wasn't that big an issue, unless you wanted to make it one. The English are a very tolerant, but priggish people. They really do not like to talk or face sex openly and if it is forced into the debate, whether its is straight or gay, they will react badly. That is still true today in the older generation, of which I am one now.

I am more concerned for the future now as I can see unrest in the regions, which have been betrayed for the last 30 years and no alternative strategy apart from bailouts from London in terms of benefits.

I don't have much contact with gay people today, mostly through inactivity and therefore my choice. On the positive side it appears that it is easier to come out at an earlier age and to build relationships. Being a slut can be great fun, but chasing Mr Goodbar too much is ultimately self-destructive. The advent of gay marriage is not something we would have expected and lets hope is does see many long and happy partnerships.

My main surprise is how similar so much is and that we do not seem to learn. The youth focus as an obsession. Chasing any fame at any cost. People are claiming fame because they are an Instagramer. Looking pretty has become excessive. Respect for people is replaced with cock size and how good your body is. One of the main things I learnt is that there is limited hours in the day and anything you do to excess means that the same time is not available for something else. In my youth the excessively pretty / hunky ones were pretty vacuous as they devoted all their time and energies to their looks and not to other parts of their character. I would suggest that if it isn't far worse now, the social media platforms give so much more visibility worldwide to those who want to promote this side of themselves.

As a specialist in the health field, the rejection of condoms in the young strikes me as suicidal. I know far too much about disease, biology and microbiology in particular and even if we have drugs that combat HIV, the side effects are significant and this is one hell of a virus that can mutate, as is Chlamydia and the others. Its just not worth the risk.

Porn has become mass produced and dull. The Corbin Fischer style has damaged it for me - sure they are very cute hunky athletic guys, but they approach doesn't work for me - am I cheesy enough to say I miss a story? I mainly collect vintage stuff and its salutory what people define as vintage now. Stuff I would say is modern, i.e. 90's Falcon is being called vintage - its part of getting older I guess.

I have a mixed reaction to Gaydar etc. It's caused me tremendous pain and led to the end of my 2nd relationship. On the other hand how else do people meet nowadays. Grindr just seems unpleasant at my age, though I am sure it would not have done when I was in my early 20's.

So no real conclusion - life move's on. Some of us move at a slower pace.
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« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2016, 01:26:19 am »

Oh .. my god .....Too much , the thing is i'm from the middle east and what you said seems really close To 10 years ago and such .
Thanks to meindallas and Pornbaron and everyone .
Funny , Films Didn't really go that far in what you said , i know i wasn't there but i feel like i was ... maybe i just now what it feels like to be repressed .........
That's why it piss me off when i hear young gay men say that I hate when gay people are TOO GAY ..Sorry for being androgynous you PRICK  Angry
It's like saying that we need to cater For straight people so they feel comfortable , while they get to talk about their sex stories .
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« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2016, 06:27:43 am »

I think part of the excitement was also finding yourself, exploring your horizons. I used to tremble, heart pounding whenever I go to the dirty magazine section. There are so many titles to choose from. It's that feeling. Am I being seen by other people? You know there's an urge inside of you, not talking about horny, but there's an urge, you want to find out what it is. Why is this man attractive to me? Can I see more? I remember buying huge amounts of VHS tapes. It all started with a small "sample" collection from Falcon, then Colt, then Channel 1, etc. Then it got more and more. The age of DVD was amazing, I could have more porn than I could ever imagined!  Evil That's still part of exploring yourself. When something is wrong, it just tastes better. These days? I think the kids are missing out a big deal. They aren't nervous about anything anymore. They have seen it all on their phones, on a daily basis. So where's the fun? The first time I've ever been to a gay bar, my heart jumped out of my chest. I was so nervous and awkward. Gone are those feelings and I'd give anything in the world to have that innocence back.
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« Reply #15 on: November 03, 2016, 07:38:45 am »

The first time I've ever been to a gay bar, my heart jumped out of my chest. I was so nervous and awkward.

I remember the first time I went to a gay bar... many moons ago (The Centaur Phase II, in Hickory NC), I sat in my car in the parking lot for about an hour polishing off a six pack of grape flavored Malt Duck before I could muster up the nerve to go inside.  And WHY did it turn out to be Drag Night?!?  Shocked  Once I went inside, I was just sitting there in the only available seat I could find, minding my own business, trying to be invisible while acting casual at the same time, when the music started and the first drag queen I had ever seen came out, lip-syncing to some old Judy Garland tune or another, sashayed right up to where I was sitting (...and of course the spotlight followed), threw her feather boa around my neck, "sang" a bar or two, then continued onward with her routine elsewhere around the bar.  Talk about "nervous and awkward"!  But as soon as I realized no one was going to "attack" me, and I saw the sense of humor behind it all (I learned the meaning of the word "camp" that night), I began to relax, met a couple of cool guys, and actually had a great time.
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« Reply #16 on: November 03, 2016, 03:07:56 pm »

I'll share my "most embarrasing moment" with you  afraid

I was standing in front of this small stage (more like an upside down box) and there were 3 strippers dancing on it, getting tips. This was in the 80's remember. One of the dancers came to me to get me to tip him, and decided he was going to reach up and run his fingers thru my hair . . . . . . needless to say, I had used nearly an entire can of Aqua Net hairspray on my "do" to make sure it didnt get destroyed in the hot sweaty club. Well his hand got stuck in my hair in front of everyone  Crazy?
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« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2016, 06:08:42 pm »

My main surprise is how similar so much is and that we do not seem to learn. The youth focus as an obsession. Chasing any fame at any cost. People are claiming fame because they are an Instagramer. Looking pretty has become excessive. Respect for people is replaced with cock size and how good your body is. One of the main things I learnt is that there is limited hours in the day and anything you do to excess means that the same time is not available for something else. In my youth the excessively pretty / hunky ones were pretty vacuous as they devoted all their time and energies to their looks and not to other parts of their character. I would suggest that if it isn't far worse now, the social media platforms give so much more visibility worldwide to those who want to promote this side of themselves.

Something to think about seriously...
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