Seeking dating advice...
Hello June 25, 2018, 02:28:56 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
 
   Home   Help Arcade Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Seeking dating advice...  (Read 2315 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
(Hidden)

« on: November 08, 2016, 07:09:19 am »

I'll try to give you as much pertinent information as I can without being too long-winded.

I met this amazing guy online about a month ago and we've been seeing quite a bit of each other. Each of us indicated on our respective profiles that we were interested in a "friends with benefits" situation with the possibility of something serious. Right off the bat, we clicked. We make each other laugh, we like the same things (he even got me into baseball!), and we have some amazing sex. Needless to say, we're both really into each other.

Now, about two weeks into the whole thing, I decided I'd ask him if we could be a couple. He said he needed time, and I respected that. He just got out of a pretty long marriage and he has a 4 year old son. I've been single since February, never married, and I have two nine year old girls myself. I can understand his hesitance. He wants to make sure all the stars have aligned before he commits to another person, and I definitely get that.

Fast forward two weeks after I mentioned it and neither of us have brought it up again. He's cooked me dinner, we've watched movies together, I even spent the night at his place once. And the sex just keeps getting better. I really enjoy being around him and I can tell the feeling is mutual. On one hand, I don't want to rush him by mentioning it. On the other hand, I don't want to just let it turn into the elephant in the room or make it seem like I'm not interested in being with him anymore.

What should I do?
« Last Edit: November 08, 2016, 07:24:43 am by (Hidden) » Logged


(Hidden)

« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2016, 07:52:40 am »

Are you a couple in every which way but name only?  Or are both of you having sex with other guys on the side?
Logged


(Hidden)

« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2016, 08:32:57 am »

Are you a couple in every which way but name only?  Or are both of you having sex with other guys on the side?

I'm tempted to answer yes to the first question. We do everything a couple would do, just without the title. I have focused all my energy on him, so I'm not having sex with any other guys. I don't know if he still has sex with other guys and I didn't really feel like it was my place to ask. But if I had to guess, I'd guess he's not. But you never know.
Logged


(Hidden)

« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2016, 10:50:42 am »

Dunno if it's a good idea but the holiday season is coming up.  It makes people more lonely and search for company so maybe you can ask him to be a couple again then.
Logged


(Hidden)

« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2016, 12:32:51 pm »

i wouldn't rush, and i'd try to be patient. i know it kills the vibe for you, but what the heck...
don't you want to see for yourself spontaneously if it's going to flower into something meaningful, without forcing anything?
i think forcing the "put a ring on it" if you see that he needs more time is just going to blur the perception of the whole thing for you too.

just chill and enjoy the moment but with an opened eye.
Logged


(Hidden)

« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2016, 01:25:44 pm »

Are you a couple in every which way but name only?  Or are both of you having sex with other guys on the side?

I'm tempted to answer yes to the first question. We do everything a couple would do, just without the title. I have focused all my energy on him, so I'm not having sex with any other guys. I don't know if he still has sex with other guys and I didn't really feel like it was my place to ask. But if I had to guess, I'd guess he's not. But you never know.

Uhmmm. Talk about this...
It's not nice to focus on someone and being disregarded.

Cleared that, don't harass him, he just need his time.
And happy boys !!!  Cheesy
Logged


(Hidden)

« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2016, 03:12:21 pm »

I read your post and immediately thought of this story I have bookmarked as a happy reminder about the nuances of falling in love and declaring relationship status:

https://www.queerty.com/guy-realizes-his-roommate-is-actually-his-boyfriend-in-most-adorable-way-possible-20160318

As fellow posters have stated, you have to be patient. The bright side is that once you wanted a commitment he didn't run for the hills immediately and continued to hang out and spend time with you. To me that is a greater indicator of one's true interest in commitment as opposed to the title itself. A guy who wants to be with you will make himself available. You've told him where you stand in the relationship so no need to bring up the topic for a while or worry about a white elephant in the room, unless you are expecting him to commit. If and when he is ready, he will tell you. Just be there, enjoy the moments, and don't fret about stuff that is out of your control.

It's about the journey, not the destination!

As a side note, How you will feel if you become aware that he is sleeping with other men while seeing you. He may or may not exercise the chance; however, it could happen and are you prepared for such an outcome. If that is an absolute deal-breaker for you, then you must consider whether things can continue as is. You shouldn't settle for less than you deserve but you can't expect him to commit when he's not ready either.

I know falling for someone can come fast and unexpected Smiley But once start making changes to the dynamics of a relationship, it's about reaching a mutual compromise with the person each step of the way or parting ways to find someone else who will be the right fit for you.

Eventually, there will be a time where you need to re-examine the direction of your relationship... BUT! In the meantime, really focus on the positives, enjoy the ride and continue having lots of sex!

Logged



Doh! Gotta be like Kyle and get off the soapbox and lay off the speeches! Yikes Smiley
(Hidden)

« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2016, 04:08:35 pm »

That last post made me wonder, what would happen if he asked you to be a third in a threesome?

Anyhow,, yeah, wait a while, like maybe a month or so when Christmas hits.  The festive mood might put things in your favor and it can't hurt with the time passing for him to analyze how things are.
Logged


(Hidden)

« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2016, 08:54:24 pm »

That last post made me wonder, what would happen if he asked you to be a third in a threesome?

Anyhow,, yeah, wait a while, like maybe a month or so when Christmas hits.  The festive mood might put things in your favor and it can't hurt with the time passing for him to analyze how things are.

If my next suitor did that...I would be quite pleased for sure  Applaud2 Applaud2
Logged



Doh! Gotta be like Kyle and get off the soapbox and lay off the speeches! Yikes Smiley
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  

* Permissions
You can't post new topics.
You can't post replies.
You can't post attachments.
You can't modify your posts.
BBCode Enabled
Smilies Enabled
[img] Enabled
HTML Disabled

 
Jump to:  

Related Topics
Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
Top 10 Gay Sugar Daddy Cities: Seeking Arrangement Dating Survey Sex & Relationships leatherbear 2 1344 Last post November 10, 2012, 08:41:48 pm
by kojote
SEEKING THE SIGHTLESS Jokes & Funny Stuff nhalizegt 0 404 Last post February 26, 2015, 12:18:56 am
by nhalizegt
Seeking two ebooks Requests kukashiffr 0 623 Last post June 14, 2015, 07:17:42 pm
by kukashiffr
Advice on hook-ups/ Dating Sex & Relationships martin526 0 448 Last post November 09, 2015, 08:53:10 am
by martin526
Bear-mode [Seeking advice] Health & Fitness Natakote 0 668 Last post May 20, 2016, 08:27:03 pm
by Natakote