At the Doctor
Hello December 13, 2018, 06:33:02 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
   Home   Help Arcade Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
Author Topic: At the Doctor  (Read 1360 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

« on: December 13, 2016, 05:15:38 pm »

This guy goes to the doctor due to a wicked headache that’s been hanging around for over a week. He asks the doc if he could provide something to make it go away. The doc has just purchased a new diagnostic machine (similar to those used to diagnose car problems, except this one diagnoses humans), and he’s been dying to try it out on his first patient.
He says to the guy “not only will this thing tell you what’s wrong with you, but it will even prescribe a remedy. All you need to do is provide a urine sample, which I will then pour into this funnel at the top." The guy does as instructed, the doc pours the sample into the analyzer, then after about 20 seconds of beeping noises, buzzing, and flashing lights the machine spits out a piece of paper into the bottom tray. The doc picks up the paper, reads it, and then says, “you have tennis elbow”.
The guy says, “that doesn’t make sense. I don’t even play tennis, and my elbow feels fine. My head on the other hand is fucking killing me…” At this point the doc interrupts and says, “nonsense, this device doesn’t lie. I want you to go home and soak that elbow overnight and then come back and see me tomorrow morning, and don’t forget to bring another urine sample with you.”

The guy leaves, but on the way home decides that this doctor is full of shit. He then has an idea. Once home, he finds a mason jar and deposits a small urine sample into it. He then gets his wife, daughter, and dog to also make a contribution. Not satisfied with this he scrapes some oil off the garage floor under where his car is parked and drops that into the mix, and for the icing on the cake he chokes his chicken long enough to get the desired results, drops that into the jar, seals the lid, and then gives the concoction a good shake. “There ya go, doc. Stick that up your computer!”

Next morning he hands the doc the jar. Doc pours the contents into the machine. This time it takes a full 10 minutes for the paper to drop. Doc picks it up and begins reading: “Your wife’s pregnant, your daughter’s fucking the entire football team at Richmond High, your Doberman has rabies, your Volvo needs an oil change, and if you don’t quit spanking your monkey you’ll never get rid of this tennis elbow!”


« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2016, 06:34:09 pm »

Old Yeller and slutty teenager... What a great funny combo Cheesy

Pages: [1]   Go Up

* Permissions
You can't post new topics.
You can't post replies.
You can't post attachments.
You can't modify your posts.
BBCode Enabled
Smilies Enabled
[img] Enabled
HTML Disabled

Jump to:  

Related Topics
Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
The doctor's convention Jokes & Funny Stuff forgetjack 0 521 Last post January 28, 2015, 11:18:38 am
by forgetjack
THE DOCTOR'S CONVENTION Jokes & Funny Stuff nhalizegt 0 548 Last post February 06, 2015, 03:07:20 am
by nhalizegt
Q: What did the banana say to the doctor? Jokes & Funny Stuff coryzinho 0 595 Last post March 04, 2015, 06:29:37 pm
by coryzinho
brunette at the doctor Jokes & Funny Stuff coryzinho 0 519 Last post March 24, 2015, 01:30:07 am
by coryzinho
At the doctor's office Jokes & Funny Stuff forgetjack 2 631 Last post October 30, 2015, 09:51:07 pm
by evukahih