I can't get my d1ck hard for long time, help.
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« on: January 10, 2017, 08:21:39 am »

Hi guys.

So I got myself a fuckbuddy.
He's very gentle and funny, and we both enjoy many things in common so we get along pretty well.
But that's not the main subject.

The thing is, when we decide to have some moment between us, he sometimes wants me to fuck him, and that's great. But somehow, I just can't get a boner.
And he's not ugly or anything, he's got a great butt, I love playing with it, but it's like I, somehow, feel insecure or something.

At first when we start kissing and touching, I do get very hard, but as time goes by, it gets soft again.
And I don't know if I get distracted or something.

It really bothers me because I want to please him,
But if I can't keep my dick hard for long time, then that means that I probably just don't work for having sex.
I don't want to take any pill.
Maybe it's because I don't have much experience.
But he does make me horny and he's really good to me, so he deserves more from me when we have sex.

I don't know if any of you ever had a problem like this, but I hope I can get it right somehow.

I'm 22 btw.

Greetings.
  Azn
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« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2017, 10:22:13 am »


You don't need any pills or viagra, you're simply thinking too much.

It's all in your head. You feel insecure and you feel pressure and that's why it doesn't work.

You should relax, which is easier said than done. Talk to him about it.
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« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2017, 11:01:33 am »

Weed lol, or anything that helps you stop over thinking. I had the same exact issue, weed really helps. Not toooo much though.
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« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2017, 01:45:49 pm »

I'm 53 and have had this problem most of my life.
I don't have the problem after I have spent a lot of time with the guy. I have never been able to do one-night stands or quickies.
I don't think it's bad but I agree it's frustrating.

Stop thinking about things and let whatever happens happen.
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« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2017, 03:37:43 pm »

I used to have the exact same problem.  Had a regular fuckbuddy, nice body, we got along well, the sex was great.  But as good as it all was, I never got hard long enough to penetrate him.  The doctors couldn't find anything wrong.  I had taken antidepressants for years in my late teens and 20s which lowered my libido, so I thought they had just fucked me up permanently and I would never be a top.

Then seven years ago I moved to a new city.  I went on a date with a boy who wasn't exactly my type, nor I his, so I didn't expect much to happen, then we talked and walked around the city, and I ended up falling head over heels in love.  On our second date, I met his friends and we hit it off, then the two of us went for a walk by the Rhône and making out on a bench for about an hour in the cold.  After he drove me home, I so much didn't want to let him go that I convinced him to come up and spend the night.  Well, much to my surprise, from the make-out session by the river until we had both spent our loads that night, I remained hard almost the entire time without difficulty.  I fucked him, he fucked me, and I had the time of my life.

That's when I realized the problem wasn't physical, but that I just wasn't satisfied enough with a quickie or even a regular but otherwise unavailable fuckbuddy.  It took being in love with someone to unblock my cock, so to speak.  Even a deep kiss from him was enough to get me to full mast.

Now, we did eventually break up.  The good news is that after that, I was able to get it up with other guys.  I did learn, however, that I really don't enjoy random hookups 99% of the time.  If I do it too much, or with a guy who really doesn't please me, I have a hard time getting hard enough to top, or even to cum sometimes.  That's why I prefer talking to someone first, getting to know them, making an emotional connection, and then if the mood strikes us, hopefully by that time I'm relaxed and in the mood and there's no problem.

So, that's my story.  I'm not saying you necessarily have to fall in true love to fix your problem, but maybe it's time to start asking yourself if you're getting everything you need from this relationship.  At the end of the day, though, the guys above me are right.  It's almost certainly in your head.  If you're nervous about something (and that includes being nervous about performing), it will be harder to get it up.  Talk to your partner; it will probably help.  And be sure to come back here and let us know how things go, and if you need more advice.
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« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2017, 03:27:54 pm »

you are not alone..
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« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2017, 08:29:16 pm »

Just relax, the more you think about keeping it hard the more difficult it will be.
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« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2017, 01:26:47 am »

Does your username have anything to do with your erection problems?
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« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2017, 09:54:36 pm »

something that it took me a long time to realise is that all sex is just practice for the next experience;  when i was 22, i was definitely overthinking things and either couldn't get hard or cum, even though i was really horny and wanted to.
take your time to find what works for you. you might feel like you'll lose the moment if you don't jump in, but those happen plenty enough in life Wink
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« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2017, 06:51:50 pm »

I'm 53 and have had this problem most of my life.
I don't have the problem after I have spent a lot of time with the guy. I have never been able to do one-night stands or quickies.
I don't think it's bad but I agree it's frustrating.

Stop thinking about things and let whatever happens happen.

That's exactly me! I mean... I'm not 53... Okay. 24, but yeah, that has always been a problem. I was never to keen on one-night stands, but it happened a few times that the date took longer than I thought. The same as mentioned before. I'm very hard at the very begining. Totally. I don't have erection problem cause I get hard a lot during the day so for example when I study I have to really go on masturbate few times a day. That's a drag but I really need that break sometimes. So during kissing and stuff or just sitting in a car I'm really hard and good to go, but as the foreplay goes on I'm softer and softer. I don't know. I guess I just have to pike a guy the moment I see him. LOL. Well when I looked at the guy and was fingering him and thought about how much I want to fuck him right now, I just couldn't. It's so annoying. Cause I know I want to fuck, but the dick just doesn't listen to me. + I hate condoms. I get soft instantly when I put a dick into a condom. But I do bareback only with bfs. SO imagine going hard time to raise you cock and then waiting for right moment to quickly put a condom and enter the ass while it's still hard. That shit is so hard to do... Yeah but I didn't have that problem with bf. I guess I just have to get used to a man's touch LOL or smth.
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« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2017, 03:48:45 am »

Thank you all for the replies, it does help me thinking that I'm not the only one in here with this problem.

I realized that this thing of me is probably not gonna go away, because I myself, find like a very quiet person, still a good and comprehensive one, but I just don't feel like I can make anyone feel completely satisfied if I don't feel completely sure about how I feel for them.

He is great, but only 20 years old, so it's not like he gets serious about some stuff.
I'm not saying that our relationship should go any further, we are just friends with benefits, so if he wants, he can go and fuck any other person he wants, which he did.
But what I found about myself, is that I won't really be able to get it hard all the time if I'm not with someone I find really hot, or that not is my type.

Just like two weeks ago or so, I used Grindr to have some moment with someone else, to see if my problem would still be there with other person.
I found a daddy (always wanted to do it with someone between 30-40 years old), and he was very good in bed, but I didn't know he was completely shaven, I really liked his bearded face though, but not his body, so the entire time I had my dick completely soft and felt very embarrased about it.
We only found ourselves to have sex, and not even know our names, so he won't see me again, well, at least I completed one of my little fantasies lol.


It's a little sad tbh. How can people just get to know some stranger and have sex without any problem, being able to focus so well, having a full time erection, like, all the time.

When I'm with my fuckbuddy, he can cum like 3 times and still wanting to keep fucking. I sometimes can bearly reach it to the first cum.

I'm sorry I had to write to much.

I never really had my chance to be with someone that is completely my type and that I could share my histories with them, to feel safe, and to even have something else than sex with them Sad


Greetings.
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« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2017, 06:23:34 pm »

I wonder if a butt plug or dildo would help.
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« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2017, 07:05:13 pm »

Hi, I see your problem and have experienced this. I do not have the solution but I can recommend some techniques. These may or may not help. The first is a furtive imagination , in your mind when the erection fades imagine you are with someone else whom you have always found attractive use the person as a substitute - but never reveal them the fantasies you hold in your head. You could put pornography on, pornography you think you may both enjoy then if you feel the urge dwindle then look at the pornography to keep your member from going to sleep. Never judge your own sexual abilities or prowesses by the standars of others. never think that in the pornography you watch that you have to sustain an erection for 30 minutes to an hour - these men ecome flaccid, have a break, get horny again after an unidentified amount of time and then the camera starts rolling again - porn actors, i would imagine, never really do everything in one take. Their sexual stamina and longevity is to do with the way the film is cut. Try blindfolds and work on areas of the body when you are flaccid and then build up to the erection - from reading your dilemma the issue is not being able to get it up at all but maintaining the erection in your cock. As the tide comes in and out so the penis ebbs and flows . It may be down for a short period but after resting time it may very well spring to life again. One natural remedy is Macca Root which can be used and these are easily available - search online about it . It needs to be taken over a period of time to receive the benefits. Another is using lube which has an active ingredient for mainaining an erection one contains guarana and is a massage and lubricant 2 in 1 this has a warming sensation which will assit to stimulate and maintain an erection. Finally a penis pump will help, this is exercise for the member basically and using this twice a week will help the blood flow in the capillaries. Should you resort to alcohol then this will do very little altough cannabis which is legal in some states of America is an excellent stimulant if used sparingly however constant use will have the opposite effect on your penis. A furtive imagination and some of the above may assist you. An understandning partner will not really bother whether you can get it up all of the time but will certainly look forward to the moments you can. It's the same as orgasms, I have had wondeful dry orgasms where there is little or no ejaculation but it doesn't mean I didn't feel the earth move. Be natural and remeber the ebb and flow .
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« Reply #13 on: February 23, 2017, 12:56:31 am »

Not that I'm judging you Mr. Coke000 but have you considered canning the coke that shit can mess up a hell of a lot including an erection. Short of that I can suggest looking on youtube for a mantra to heal what ails you, thoses Hindus have a mantra for everything
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« Reply #14 on: February 23, 2017, 01:01:44 am »

i think you said already what the problem is:  "i feel insecure or something"  ....
now the solution? ... probably a terapist would say  Undecided
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« Reply #15 on: February 23, 2017, 10:42:07 am »

Does your username have anything to do with your erection problems?

Not that I'm judging you Mr. Coke000 but have you considered canning the coke that shit can mess up a hell of a lot including an erection. Short of that I can suggest looking on youtube for a mantra to heal what ails you, thoses Hindus have a mantra for everything

I never tried coke, I just like coca cola, lol.
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« Reply #16 on: February 23, 2017, 01:09:58 pm »

Hahahahahah I just fuckin died
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« Reply #17 on: February 23, 2017, 05:25:45 pm »

I'm not a psychologist, so I can't really help with the mental and emotional part of it, but for the physical part: Try using a cock ring.

When I'm alone and horny (and have time on my hands lol), I love to edge a lot, like I like to go for like 2-3 hours or even more sometimes, and during that time, I do get soft sometimes, obviously.
But when I'm using a cock ring, (or even a substitute, like even a shoelace around my cock lol), I don't get soft as much.
So try using a cock ring when you're trying to have sex with this guy.

But, if it is a mental issue, I'd have to agree with some of the others here. Just try and relax. Try not to be insecure, and just enjoy the sex. Don't think about anything else.

Hope that helps! ;P Wink
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« Reply #18 on: February 23, 2017, 08:02:08 pm »

It's very hard to me to get and erection (If i got one) when im stand up and even when i'm kneel down. Try to stay on your back this position is more easy for me.
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« Reply #19 on: July 12, 2017, 06:41:29 am »

Hey guys, I'm back.

I'm reviving this thread just to update my status about the subject.

So, I don't know if some of you guys are still around this page, and if anyone is interested in knowing how I solved my problem you can continue reading. But I just want to say that I did it! I was finally able to maintain an erection for at least like half an hour.


So how did it work?
I had this huge doubt about myself: "what if I wasn't working properly because I was never able to get a chance with some guy that I'd find truly hot?"
So I had this chance with this guy that was actually my type (hairy chest, ass and nice face)
When we met up we talked a lot, just to know each other and see if we could go any further.
And it all went pretty good so I stayed at his place all night.

We didn't fuck because he said wasn't ready for that though.
But that night, for the first time I felt like I was secure, I felt safe, I felt wanted, and he was hot, so when I was with him that night, everytime we would kiss and touch, I would get so hard, and I would love every moment of it; it was probably the best night I had in a long time.
And let's be honest. Who doesn't like to feel loved and wanted?
That night I felt like that, I felt like I could rest with him, like he would take care of me hugging, like everything was going to be just fine.
I know that I might sound a little corny, but I don't feel like I'll ever going to be like those guys who can get hard with any stranger that they find (I actually envy those who can).
So yeah, we just met that one time, and I won't ever see him again (that's another story).
But tbh, I feel very happy to know that at least now I can have a long erection if I'm with someone that I find very attractive, and that in the end it was all in my mind.

Sometimes some of us just can't randomly hook up with someone and go straight to action, I really wish I was able to do that, but I don't think I can, I feel like I'm full of emotions, and I never saw that part of me before.

Anyways that's it, I would like to thank you again for the comments and advices, it was very kind of you to share your knowledge and experience.

If you have more to share you still can.

Greetings.
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