Is it racist to post that you're not interested in black/asian/other non-whites?
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Author Topic: Is it racist to post that you're not interested in black/asian/other non-whites?  (Read 2564 times)
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« on: March 12, 2017, 09:48:15 pm »

Just curious to see how other people see this.
I know it's hurtful for someone not being attracted to certain types of people but is it racist?
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« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2017, 11:07:16 pm »

To be honest, it does sound racist when you blatantly say it out loud.

But on the other hand, it's not wrong either. You have your own preference, and are entitled to that. So it's your freedom of choice. I'm Asian, but even I have some people I'm not 'fond of'. For example, eventhough I like 'white men', but there some types from a selective state/region whom I probably want to avoid as best as I could. In a way, that might make me racist too, right?

Just try not to offend people of other races just because you do. And probably opt to use a more subtle manner of speech to convey the message. Something like "Sorry, you're not my type" instead of "Sorry, I don't like Black/Asian/POC". Be considerate of other's feelings, that's all that matters.
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« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2017, 11:32:20 pm »

To be honest, it does sound racist when you blatantly say it out loud.

But on the other hand, it's not wrong either. You have your own preference, and are entitled to that. So it's your freedom of choice. I'm Asian, but even I have some people I'm not 'fond of'. For example, eventhough I like 'white men', but there some types from a selective state/region whom I probably want to avoid as best as I could. In a way, that might make me racist too, right?

Just try not to offend people of other races just because you do. And probably opt to use a more subtle manner of speech to convey the message. Something like "Sorry, you're not my type" instead of "Sorry, I don't like Black/Asian/POC". Be considerate of other's feelings, that's all that matters.

I totally agree. your preferences based on ethnical origin should be totally respected and personal preferences has nothing to do with racism.
Yet, seeing things like 'no asian/black/etc' written openly(often in capital letters) in a public profile page, you can pretty assume the kind of those person.
I think the thing is weather you express it openly in public or not.
Then, the way of saying it to concerned ones is another problem, of politeness.
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« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2017, 12:26:22 am »

Like both replies above stated, we can't control what type of guys we are attracted to, just like we didn't choose to be attracted to men. Personally I find it is narrow minded and presumptuous to exclude an entire race of people from your potential partner whether it's for a quick fuck or long term relationship, I'm sure we can at least pick out one guy from each race from all the videos posted on this site and say yes I find him attractive.

While it's ok to state your preference and you can't help if other people that will be offended by anything, it's easy to be considerate and polite, instead of saying "No (race), No (body type), no (age range)", just tell people what you like - "After fit latino guys around my age", you don't even have to type more letters with that and you can practice being tactical when express your views.
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« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2017, 01:03:20 am »


While it's ok to state your preference and you can't help if other people that will be offended by anything, it's easy to be considerate and polite, instead of saying "No (race), No (body type), no (age range)", just tell people what you like - "After fit latino guys around my age", you don't even have to type more letters with that and you can practice being tactical when express your views.

I've struggled with this question as well, and I think sakyo here has given one of the best and clearest solutions. It boils down to respect and HOW you present your preferences. Better to just let people know what you prefer, rather than come off rejecting whole classes of people based on race, age, etc.
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« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2017, 04:43:12 am »

In the end it all comes down to a few simple things. 1) Be respectful. 2) State that it's a personal preference. 3) Be prepared for the more extreme idiots that exist out there to bash you for stating a personal preference.

That's pretty much all that it comes down to. There will be those, with little to no common sense, intelligence or good manners, who will attack you for stating a personal preference. Why we attack people for not liking a particular person or even group is beyond me, but it is what it is.
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« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2017, 05:33:01 am »

Just curious to see how other people see this.
I know it's hurtful for someone not being attracted to certain types of people but is it racist?

I think it is HOW it is represented.. e.g. I am not attracted to women but am certainly not sexist.. the issue is it can come across badly
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« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2017, 05:47:10 am »

according to people i've talked to on grindr it is lmao
but imo no having a preference isn't racism. no one's entitled to sex or a relationship just because of their race
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« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2017, 07:47:07 am »

It's not "racist" to have a preference or an innate attraction to certain features/skin tones.

And just for the record, "racism" doesn't exist, we are all the same race - the human race. When people say only into white guys, or only into black men, it's an ethnic preference for those specific features/skin tone. You can't be "racist" when only 1 race exists.

Personally I would never date a Muslim, won't even be friends with them. Many people would cry out that this makes me a "racist", meanwhile Islam is not a race, it's a fucken religion - well more of a cult if you ask me. But it's something I don't like, so I have every right to not like it and avoid it.

Honestly this world is becoming WAY TOO politically correct and way too obsessed with not hurting people's "feelings", and it's coming at the cost of people not being honest with other people and turning people into disingenuous fakes. I'll take the ugly truth over a pretty little lie any day. But for some people, remaining in ignorance truly is bliss.
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« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2017, 08:28:53 am »

I don't think it's racist. I'll try to justify my statement. I have lived here in South East Asia for 23 years or so. Before I met my SE Asian man, who I've been with for 17 years, I used to get very frustrated when I'd meet two or three very handsome local guys when I'd be told that "I don't like Asian guy for sex". Is that racism?

Again, there are guys who really do nothing for me. Middle Easterners, Sub Continentals (India/Pakistan) amongst them. I'm not sexually turned on by them. I have the droop. I don't go around saying I'm not interested in them. Saying so would be racist.
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« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2017, 10:45:30 am »

No it's not racist.  We all have our own preferences.  I am mainly sexually attracted to latino/latina/latin men and women, and white men and some white women.  Why? I have no idea but those are just my preferences.

It's racist when someone admits they are sexually attracted to someone that's black because of racist myths and stereotypes like "black=hung/large cock" or "black women and men are freaks in bed/sexually aggressive, etc.", and "East Asians are feminine and have tight butts" that you see on sites and hear about.

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« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2017, 11:06:24 am »

I think it would be in how you worded it.

We all have preferences to what we like and don't like and on the apps we are looking for specific things so stating that you're not interested in Asian or Blacks would not be racist. It would be the same as not interested in old or fat, as I am; I see this in many and I am not offended as I know I am not liked or wanted by all.

People should focus on the things that are positive instead of always looking to the negative; unfortunately we have a president now who supports out right hatred and dislike for many things so it has become acceptable to be to "real' with things.
It is so sad.

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« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2017, 11:23:30 am »

It's not racist, but I would say it doesn't reflect well on you. At the very least, it seems superficial and rather tactless. Or at least, it does to me.

When you say something in a public forum, people may draw conclusions about you. They may draw conclusions about your depth of character, your intellectual capacity, your personal beliefs, your maturity and wisdom (or lack thereof). They may form conclusions about whether you are the kind of person they would like to get to know, or even meet fleetingly.

This goes a lot further than just the simple question of whether something is or is not racist. Another poster on this thread has said the following:Personally I would never date a Muslim, won't even be friends with them. And this poster defends this statement on the grounds that it is not racist. This is probably correct: the comment is not racist, but to my mind it reveals quite a lot about the character of the person who wrote it, and some readers will draw conclusions about him (I will assume it is a male - I don't know many women who write such things) on the strength of it.

Finally, I would add that while it is true that we all have preferences (and perhaps even prejudices!), we don't necessarily all have to say everything that we think. The fact that we may have the right to say something doesn't mean that it's a good idea. There is something to be said for moderating things we say, not only out of a wish to avoid causing offence (what we old-fashioned types used to call 'politeness' and is now sometimes labelled 'political correctness'), but also because we recognise that things we say might come back to bite us.  It's not always bold and brilliant and daring to say something just because it's true. Sometimes it's just being a jerk.
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« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2017, 12:35:19 pm »

Just curious to see how other people see this.
I know it's hurtful for someone not being attracted to certain types of people but is it racist?

Simple answer is NO.  Attraction is a subconscious brain reaction to which the individual has no control over and therefore a person can not be held responsible for said attraction reaction.  HOWEVER any conscious action an individual takes based on this CAN be racist.

If a white guy flatly refuses to go out with a black guy then yes he is a racist.

If a white guy goes out with 20 different black guys and finds no attraction with any of them, that does not make him a racist.  However if said white guy them consciously decides never to date another black guy, even if he states "I've dated 20 and found no attraction what so ever", he is a racist.  Why? because he is being prejudice and discriminating based on those 20 guys, this is the same whether he had dated 1 guy or every black guy on the planet.

Basically not one person on the planet can be classed as racist for their feelings of attraction, however I would look at 90%+ could be classed as racist for there following conscious actions.

It's racist when someone admits they are sexually attracted to someone that's black because of racist myths and stereotypes like "black=hung/large cock" or "black women and men are freaks in bed/sexually aggressive, etc.", and "East Asians are feminine and have tight butts" that you see on sites and hear about.

This is not racist as attraction/sexual attraction can not be racist and admitting it does not make you a racist, just tactless and stupid.  However the action of targeting black men based on the wishful thinking that they will all have a huge cock is racist, especially if you choose to discriminate against all other men as you are then racist against them.
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« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2017, 12:36:35 pm »

You could just say you don't find the person attractive. No need to bring up race.
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« Reply #15 on: March 13, 2017, 12:38:14 pm »

it is racist. Just because you have these preferences doesn't mean it isn't racist I'll try and explain as best I can.

As kids (in western societies especially) absorbing media and the society around us we learn to find non-whiteness unattractive, everything shows us the the ideal person to date is someone white and when the majority of non-white roles are usually criminals or stuff overtly stereotypical played off for laughs we absorb this into us and so we tend to perpetuate and continue to uphold these societal beliefs.

You need to ask yourself 'why', why are you not attracted to one race? If what you come up with is a stereotype of physical characteristics or racial behaviors then you are racist, because you are saying everyone of said race has these characteristics (even if it's skin color, not everyone in one race has the same skin tone). You are lumping them together and saying that one group of people all act and look the same and that is racist. Racism isn't always explicit, a racist person doesn't always know they are racist or go out of their way to be racist.

To fix the issue we need to be self critical, which is something not everyone is open to or comfortable with doing. Racism is a very ingrained and taught behavior that is why people defend the racial preferences with dating. It is so ingrained if feels like it's part of us. I used to be one of those people who thought I didn't find any race but white attractive, it just took me having a wake up call and actually examining my own ideas on preferences to realize it was stereotypes and negatively taught associations that was subconsciously controlling me. I still have trouble with it, I need to think to myself "am I dismissing this person because of race or because I just don't find them attractive" because everyone has preferences and even still their are just people you wont find attractive even if they are your usual 'type', but you need to be wary of the real reasons why you feel the way you do. This is why it's such a problem with people and why people defend it with such anger sometimes (not here but other places I've seen) because no one wants to 'feel' racist because it makes them uncomfortable, so rather than face themselves they just keep defending it and wont try and see how it is racist.

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« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2017, 04:37:32 am »

Normally I just kind of lurk... but reading some replies has managed to get my blood pumping so i guess i gotta respond. :/

1) No putting "no blacks or Asians or what evs" is not racists... If a guy is not into those races/ethnicity then they just arn't. They all have their "reasons" why they are not interested... some may be shallow some may have deep subconscious reasons. but it is their tastes ... and there is nothing wrong with it (after all if a gay man doesn't like women it does not mean he is a misogynist.) you can't (shouldn't) go around shaming them for their preferences.

2) To the guy who says its discrimination... That's wrong... you are not entitled to sex with a person... as such if someone does not want to spend time with you regardless if its because of your skin tone, politics, lifestyle, hygiene, fashion, personality. its again their right and you nor i can dictate or should make them feel guilty for whom ever they decide to or refuse to spend time with or have sex with... Rejection hurts. Get over it move on... its not discrimination because again you are not entitled to people... its not like a job where there's an expectation that as long as you fill the qualifications you are entitled to a job, position, seat or what ever. I can only assume you've never experienced discrimination if you think that some dude not wanting to date/sex you because he isn't interested/turned on by your skin color is discrimination. Or you're just some shallow person who wants to guilt some dude into having sex/spending time with you.

3) To the guy who tried to say that... guys put that because media and society is going around pushing some idea of white beauty... you are also wrong. I'm not saying porn or basic media isn't full of white guys(it is....) although ironically its filled with varying types of guys with VERY different physical appearances to just boil it down to "generic white guys". I mean that the theory that white guys being common in media as the reason for guys (people) not finding "non whites" unattractive doesn't have weight when you consider that billions of guys(PEOPLE) are bombarded with these images are actually attracted to non whites...so that theory doesn't hold that much sway.

4) You guys also need to take into account that UNWANTED affection (aka someone your not attracted to being attracted/hitting on you) is Honestly the worse. I am a long time sufferer of that. ever since i was 16 (younger too) I've had old guys 65+ constantly hit on and proposition me both on online dating apps/sites and real life. Its like im cat nip for grandpa types.... I dunno if they all have some weird Latin fetish, or maybe my resting sad face makes them think i'm emotionally weak enough to fall prey to their advances. But boy do i get constant barrages of it... (and I've tried to do it with an older guy and i came out of it feeling like i was molested... he was pushy, made me uncomfortable, wasn't even pleasurable and i felt more like i was a living flesh light for his enjoyment then a partner... till this day i have Vietnam level flashbacks and i wasn't even in nam.) I'm a nice person... mother taught me to be polite and i fell into the trap of try it once (stupid green eggs and ham story)plus i was young and stupid. I put on my profile no one old enough to be my grandpa (i actually am okay with older guys just not grandpa level old)and i get messages saying im ageist, people telling me one day you gonna get old and wont have your looks. So i 100% sympathize with guys who state their preferences. and this isn't even takeing into account all the blocks you have to hand out to weed these people out.

5) People need to stop getting personally offended by things and toss out buzzwords like Racist, homophobia, and misogynist. Im pretty sure 95% of the guys who put no black or what not are not racist. they would never treat someone else like they are sub human (short of bdsm stuffs). or even less then. So to call these guys racist is unfair to people who actually have to experience racism. and its unfair to force people to i dunno date someone they are not attracted to (for what ever their reason whether legitimate , based on ignorance / misinformation or foolishly believing stereotypes) because there's a .000001(gross over exaggeration and i mean it in appearance I.E. a tall Mexican) chance that some individual might be an outlyer in his ethnicity and is not like the others. and he should what? try it. Just like straight people who say that a gay guy isn't gay he just hasn't met the right girl yet to give him good "pussy?" these "no Asian" guys haven't met some Asian guy to give him good Asian dick (or booty) and turn his life around?

6)  Never mind the hypocrisy of how an Asian guy can exclusively only be attracted to white guys and its somehow acceptable. Its come to a point that when ever i see a topic about racism it somehow only ever talks about or uses white people as an example(as if racism has changed meaning to something only white people can do.) ... and ignores that there are black people who also put no Asians, no whites or no Latino aswell. Or the black guys who only want white guys.

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« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2017, 06:22:41 am »

Okay this was a doozy, I'll see if I can clear up some stuff about what I said

Normally I just kind of lurk... but reading some replies has managed to get my blood pumping so i guess i gotta respond. :/

1) No putting "no blacks or Asians or what evs" is not racists... If a guy is not into those races/ethnicity then they just arn't. They all have their "reasons" why they are not interested... some may be shallow some may have deep subconscious reasons. but it is their tastes ... and there is nothing wrong with it (after all if a gay man doesn't like women it does not mean he is a misogynist.) you can't (shouldn't) go around shaming them for their preferences.

Gay men not liking women is a false equivalency, it's not actually the same thing. Being gay is not taught to us, it's who we are. Barring an entire race is taught to us, we learn to find non-whites unattractive.

2) To the guy who says its discrimination... That's wrong... you are not entitled to sex with a person... as such if someone does not want to spend time with you regardless if its because of your skin tone, politics, lifestyle, hygiene, fashion, personality. its again their right and you nor i can dictate or should make them feel guilty for whom ever they decide to or refuse to spend time with or have sex with... Rejection hurts. Get over it move on... its not discrimination because again you are not entitled to people... its not like a job where there's an expectation that as long as you fill the qualifications you are entitled to a job, position, seat or what ever. I can only assume you've never experienced discrimination if you think that some dude not wanting to date/sex you because he isn't interested/turned on by your skin color is discrimination. Or you're just some shallow person who wants to guilt some dude into having sex/spending time with you.

No one is saying that anyone owes sex to anyone, that's not the point of this. It's the outright exclusion of a specific race or multiple races that is the problem. Everyone has preferences and no one can fault anyone for that, but when those preferences are built on racist ideology, it's racist. The daily show actually did a good cover of sexual racism a little while ago. Even though it's a comedy show it was pretty informative.

3) To the guy who tried to say that... guys put that because media and society is going around pushing some idea of white beauty... you are also wrong. I'm not saying porn or basic media isn't full of white guys(it is....) although ironically its filled with varying types of guys with VERY different physical appearances to just boil it down to "generic white guys". I mean that the theory that white guys being common in media as the reason for guys (people) not finding "non whites" unattractive doesn't have weight when you consider that billions of guys(PEOPLE) are bombarded with these images are actually attracted to non whites...so that theory doesn't hold that much sway.

Okay.... the media affects us in so many uncountable subconscious ways. It has been well documented and well observed. Just looking online briefly you can see studies showing how advertising works, how the media shapes our social beliefs. You can't just say "that's not how it works" because it's been a proven fact. This also isn't just about porn, in all media most guys in roles that show them as desirable are typically fit white dudes. Most of the happy gay couples in shows and movies or even in most gay media are young fit white guys. Why do you think there is such pressure today for people to look certain ways? why eating disorders are hugely present even in men? It's because of what we see, it shapes how we think we need to look and who we need to date in order to be happy.

4) You guys also need to take into account that UNWANTED affection (aka someone your not attracted to being attracted/hitting on you) is Honestly the worse. I am a long time sufferer of that. ever since i was 16 (younger too) I've had old guys 65+ constantly hit on and proposition me both on online dating apps/sites and real life. Its like im cat nip for grandpa types.... I dunno if they all have some weird Latin fetish, or maybe my resting sad face makes them think i'm emotionally weak enough to fall prey to their advances. But boy do i get constant barrages of it... (and I've tried to do it with an older guy and i came out of it feeling like i was molested... he was pushy, made me uncomfortable, wasn't even pleasurable and i felt more like i was a living flesh light for his enjoyment then a partner... till this day i have Vietnam level flashbacks and i wasn't even in nam.) I'm a nice person... mother taught me to be polite and i fell into the trap of try it once (stupid green eggs and ham story)plus i was young and stupid. I put on my profile no one old enough to be my grandpa (i actually am okay with older guys just not grandpa level old)and i get messages saying im ageist, people telling me one day you gonna get old and wont have your looks. So i 100% sympathize with guys who state their preferences. and this isn't even takeing into account all the blocks you have to hand out to weed these people out.

This is an issue but this isn't what this topic was about. Fetishizing a group of people is just as bad as baring one. They are just different ways of expressing ingrained racism.

This is an aside but if you are having flashbacks to the event and you feel like you were assaulted you might want to see someone about it. Flashbacks to an experience like that can be a sign of PTSD, I'm not trying to mock you or be funny here. I have friends that have experienced sexual assault and it's left them with PTSD. I've seen how hard it is for them to deal with it and I don't want anyone to try and go at it alone. You blocking the age range of people because it reminds you of this is okay, but this is different still to sexual racism.

5) People need to stop getting personally offended by things and toss out buzzwords like Racist, homophobia, and misogynist. Im pretty sure 95% of the guys who put no black or what not are not racist. they would never treat someone else like they are sub human (short of bdsm stuffs). or even less then. So to call these guys racist is unfair to people who actually have to experience racism. and its unfair to force people to i dunno date someone they are not attracted to (for what ever their reason whether legitimate , based on ignorance / misinformation or foolishly believing stereotypes) because there's a .000001(gross over exaggeration and i mean it in appearance I.E. a tall Mexican) chance that some individual might be an outlyer in his ethnicity and is not like the others. and he should what? try it. Just like straight people who say that a gay guy isn't gay he just hasn't met the right girl yet to give him good "pussy?" these "no Asian" guys haven't met some Asian guy to give him good Asian dick (or booty) and turn his life around?

Racism isn't always explicit like I said before, it comes out in many ways ranging from actual assault and hate crimes to minor everyday things that people don't even realize they are doing. This is not about forcing people do date or fuck people of a specific race, it's about getting people to understand what their racial 'preferences' actually mean and where they come from. Grouping everyone of a specific race into one category is racist, it is saying everyone of a race is the same. You aren't treating them like individual people anymore, you are looking only at their race and you are making judgements based on it. And again with the women thing, this is a false equivalency. Gay is who you are, racist preferences are not. They come from what is taught to us through society, if being gay worked the same way then people wouldn't even be gay because of how it use to be depicted.

6)  Never mind the hypocrisy of how an Asian guy can exclusively only be attracted to white guys and its somehow acceptable. Its come to a point that when ever i see a topic about racism it somehow only ever talks about or uses white people as an example(as if racism has changed meaning to something only white people can do.) ... and ignores that there are black people who also put no Asians, no whites or no Latino aswell. Or the black guys who only want white guys.

An asian guy saying no asians is still racist. This is internalized racism, the same way gay people can have internalized homophobia. Being racist to other discriminated minorities is not a white only thing, it just is mainly a white thing because of how whiteness is seen as what everyone wants and what is desirable. It is also much easier to see the mass example of sexual racism from white people as they tend to be the biggest group of people with the blanket statements on profiles. you should look at the daily show video, I think it does an alright job at introducing the topic of sexual racism. http://www.towleroad.com/2016/04/sexual-racism/ (the video is embedded in that article, you don't have to read that article just the video is important)
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« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2017, 06:29:42 am »

I thought he was spot on with most of his answers. No matter how hard you try to shoe horn in a PC mindset, it still sucks for the majority and will fail.
It is not racist to not be attracted sexually to someone. That is stupid.
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« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2017, 06:35:32 am »

I would like to think no that its not racist to say what preferrence(s) a person like but I guess its in the manner of how someone would say it.
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