Love negating sex
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« on: March 22, 2017, 03:19:10 pm »

Everytime I fall in love and engage in a relationship, I find that my sexual attraction for that person will automatically be gone... Is there anyone else out there who is like this, or is there a fix or diagnosis for this issue?

I really find this to be a problem and feel bad for my boyfriend who thinks he's not attractive when really... that's how I have always been, even in the past...

Suggestions welcome =)
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« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2017, 05:14:39 pm »

That's an odd case... in any way, sexual attraction should not just simply disappear, especially regarding to the one you love the most. But it seems like, for me, at least, once you deeply love and care about someone, you don't always need to have sex to show or express that, because while sex does matter in a relationship, love is not all about sex.

Maybe not really helpful, I know. But I bet when you want to have sex with him, you'll be into it as usual Smiley
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« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2017, 08:56:29 pm »

Thanks for your reply.. I'd figure I'd ask because this forum actually did help me resolve my previous dilemma...

Perhaps if anyone else is experiencing something similar to I am, they could elucidate their situation so that I may find my own clarification... perhaps, I'm not really even seeing the underlying issue..
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« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2017, 10:07:10 pm »

I've had it happen to me plenty of times that I'd have a crush on or fall in love with someone, then eventually those feelings would turn into a sibling-like kind of love and the attraction would be completely axed, but that included both sexual feelings and romantic love. So when it happens only to one aspect of it, that's certainly unexpected, for me at least.

Are you still intimate with your boyfriend in any way? Do you feel the desire to kiss him and be romantic with him, even if you don't feel the sexual attraction? Conversely, when you're not in a relationship, do you normally engage in casual sex without any romantic attachment and actually enjoy it? If you have complicated feelings about sexual attraction in general that could be the source of this, but otherwise, if it truly only happens after you've started a relationship, and the romance is still there, then I'm not too sure.
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« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2017, 03:28:41 am »

I've had it happen to me plenty of times that I'd have a crush on or fall in love with someone, then eventually those feelings would turn into a sibling-like kind of love and the attraction would be completely axed, but that included both sexual feelings and romantic love. So when it happens only to one aspect of it, that's certainly unexpected, for me at least.

Are you still intimate with your boyfriend in any way? Do you feel the desire to kiss him and be romantic with him, even if you don't feel the sexual attraction? Conversely, when you're not in a relationship, do you normally engage in casual sex without any romantic attachment and actually enjoy it? If you have complicated feelings about sexual attraction in general that could be the source of this, but otherwise, if it truly only happens after you've started a relationship, and the romance is still there, then I'm not too sure.

Thanks so much for your response...

I do feel the desire to kiss him... and we are romantic with one another... and I love him more than ever, and am still excited with butterflies when I see him... and he does want to have sex with me like, all the time... but when I do have sex, it feels like it's a scheduled chore and that's the only aspect of our relationship that is a problem... hence we have been in an open relationship for the past 3 years - but it's a strong one and we are very connected/compatible/happy.

Since the romance is still there, I guess I'll have to accept that you are "not too sure" about it... lol... but thank you so much for your time and reply =)
 
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