When getting rejected on apps, would you rather be outright rejected or ghosted?
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Author Topic: When getting rejected on apps, would you rather be outright rejected or ghosted?  (Read 497 times)
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« on: April 07, 2017, 02:55:18 am »

When messaging people on app, and they clearly aren't into you.

Would you rather have the closure of having someone explicitly tell you they're not interested? No thank you?

Or would you rather have them say nothing at all?
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« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2017, 03:16:36 am »

I don't care but rejecting is polite.
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« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2017, 03:22:24 am »

I dont Care, everyone is entitled to rejection, it doesnt bother me.
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« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2017, 03:23:43 am »

I thought ghosting was more talking but then going quiet.. as opposed to just never saying a word, ever.

Either way, a polite no thankyou is nicer i think
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« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2017, 03:52:26 am »

I'd rather just be ignored. It gets annoying having to tell people you're not interested in them even though your profiles states you're not into twinks, bears etc. Happens a lot.
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« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2017, 02:07:58 am »

I'm okay with not replying.
IF I talk with the guy for the first time.
It's not rude - the guy probably sees your message but is not interested, especially if he's online. It's just a simple information - I'm not into it for whatever reason man.
I don't expect guys to answer and I as well rarely reply that someone's not my type. I usually reply if the guy is talking to me and I'm like "cool, send a photo though" and he turns out to be totally not worth it and I'm like "um, not my type", cause leaving it without a comment would be a little impolite I guess.
On the other side I hade not replying. It happens so much. A lot of guys were into me or were ready to meet and suddenly they were all like "...". Fucking silence. Not a word. One guy recently said he really likes me and loves the impression he has of me. It was the first guy since a long time that I actually hoped something will come out of and I did think of as an intelligent and attractive man. He gave me his number and went all quite. And THAT is fucking rude. I was like "well we don't have to talk if you don't want to" and he said "ok" Huh? A fucking ok.  Angry
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« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2017, 03:19:22 am »


On the other side I hade not replying. It happens so much. A lot of guys were into me or were ready to meet and suddenly they were all like "...". Fucking silence. Not a word. One guy recently said he really likes me and loves the impression he has of me. It was the first guy since a long time that I actually hoped something will come out of and I did think of as an intelligent and attractive man. He gave me his number and went all quite. And THAT is fucking rude. I was like "well we don't have to talk if you don't want to" and he said "ok" Huh? A fucking ok.  Angry

I totally agree with you- if it gets to that point where you've both shown interest and actually exchanged messages, then if he changes his mind, he should at least have the decency to say so and not just vanish into thin air. That's just rude.

On the first exchange though, it doesn't matter to me either way- no message means you aren't interested and I'll just move on. But a No thanks, you're not my type kind of reply is extra polite and the effort is appreciated.
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« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2017, 08:51:33 am »

I used to be polite and pc so I'll reply,
'Thank you for your interest.
However, you and I are not suitable.'

But after a few rare occasions where the interested person bombarded me with very nasty replies and even hounded me online, now I think it's best to not even reply. Most Asians are afraid of losing face so not replying is still not rejection as there are other possible reasons.
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« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2017, 05:47:09 pm »

I always ghosted them, because I may not be turned on first attempt.  Then they start getting desperate and showing me the hot slutty naked pictures  Surprise and i'm like, "HAAAAAY SRY MY PHONE WAS CHARGING ALL DAY  Dick.  WHAT DAT MOUF DO?"

Otherwise, if you reject them, it just brings out the crazy bitch in a guy.  And instead of being on the prowl, now he has his pride to defend. 

Plus most guys that ghost me, I see out and they're like  afraid     Cheesy     Evil
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« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2017, 08:57:16 pm »

I prefer honesty, so outright rejected
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« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2017, 10:24:09 pm »


I totally agree with you- if it gets to that point where you've both shown interest and actually exchanged messages, then if he changes his mind, he should at least have the decency to say so and not just vanish into thin air. That's just rude.

On the first exchange though, it doesn't matter to me either way- no message means you aren't interested and I'll just move on. But a No thanks, you're not my type kind of reply is extra polite and the effort is appreciated.

Yup. Exactly.
We were really even talking about meeting already with the guy. Don't understand that.
Yeah! I gotta say after few years with guys on apps (well not sure if it's only in here or wherever, but they are really coarse here) I'm automatically ironic and pretty direct in a mean way : P One guy was like "come to the hotel i'm in town let's have some fun" and said "wrong fucking address" and I was ready to shit all over him but he said "ok. then... have a nice evening and thanks for the reply Smiley" and I was like "WHOOOOAH" Cheesy haha.

Otherwise, if you reject them, it just brings out the crazy bitch in a guy.  And instead of being on the prowl, now he has his pride to defend. 

Plus most guys that ghost me, I see out and they're like  afraid     Cheesy     Evil

It's not. At least I didn't have any. Of course it does if you -as we with Brian discussed it above- talk a little with a guy but not in the first message.
But yeah it's funny meeting with guys outside. ON grindr it's like a different world. Everybody says shit and acts whatever and then it comes to the real life. Haha. I got some messages like "We were crossing the street together today". What the fuck? I'm like "cool". No better reason to start a chat, really? One guy was like "hey, you were at the club and you grabbed my butt and asked if it fits my fancies and I didn't follow you cause I was with friends". And I was like "dude. that city is 200km away and I spent the whole weekend sick in my house, don't remember grabbing any butts".
The worst thing is when you see someone really often.
Some guys are at my universities. The guy send me a message with "hi" and I just didn't reply. He's not my type so I won't start any conversation with him too, so we just pass each other at halls (he's a faculty I guess) and we know now who we are but we just awkwardly stare in different directions lol. Not many people or situations can make me awkward nowadays - believe me. But this does.
And there's the other guy who keeps stalking me and just keeps messaging. Fuck. He texted me the other day that I "walked pass by his burger king stand" XDDDDD I just keep ignoring. It scares me the fuck out.
Yeah that pretty much answers the thing of "not replying" and "ghosting". There are some guys who will not give you peace until you block them and they will text you for fucking years. I always wonder. How badly determined you have to be to stalk someone this much.
- hi
- hi
- how are you?
- hi
- hello
- will we meet?
- sup
- hi
- *PICTURE*
- hi
- *my name is ....
- *PICTURE*
- *DICK PICTURE*
- what's up
- hi
- how are you
- wanna meet?
- my name is

I KNOW WHAT YOUR FUCKING NAME IS GODDAMMIT. LEAVE ME ALONE.
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« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2017, 12:25:48 am »

I always make an effort to decline interest.

I wouldn't ignore someone face-to-face, and online is no different.
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« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2017, 09:39:02 pm »

Outright rejected
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« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2017, 09:46:17 pm »

whether on app or on real life, being outright rejected is always better than silently ghosted
The heartbreak comes faster, but goes out sooner as well
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« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2017, 06:11:54 am »

Say nothing
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