Losing friends after coming out?
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« on: April 13, 2017, 03:26:41 pm »

Did you lose some friends after coming out of closet? If so, did you find new ones who accepted you the way you are? Smiley
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« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2017, 06:09:12 pm »

I was lucky enough that every singe one of my real close friends was able to accept me when I came out to them.  with love
I did have a few who were less supportive and decided to distance themselves, but we were never that close to begin with.
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« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2017, 06:52:01 pm »

No, I didn't.
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« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2017, 09:32:05 pm »

Already had mine distanced themselves the moment they began to suspect that I'm attracted to guys.  Sad
One even told me to stay away until he or me got married. So it was not even a 'coming out' stage yet! LOL   Roll Eyes

The good news was, it was I who decide walk out on them. They never abandon me, because I took the liberty to do that to them in advance. Who needed people that can't be supportive to your true nature, right? Beside, it's their loss anyway.   Cool
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« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2017, 10:14:13 pm »

YES... and YES...

ON LOSING FRIENDS - Well, turns out I never really needed them anyway...

ON GAINING FRIENDS - They are still my closest of friends today... and I'm very lucky to have found them =)
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« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2017, 05:12:26 pm »

What it boils down to is this: if people decide they don't like you anymore after finding out you're gay, they weren't really friends with you to begin with and clearly didn't know much about you. They're not worth worrying about, and certainly not worth keeping in your life.
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« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2017, 08:47:19 pm »

When I came out, nobody had a clue about me being gay. Everyone just assumed I was a chick magnet Blind.
Then one day after I had had enough of the lie's, I just snapped.
Right in the locker room after football practice. Everybody just looked at me and thought I was joking. Then one of the guys made comment about me looking at his junk. I replied that I wasn't attracted to tiny peters and was more attracted to my friend Sams Pussy punisher. afraid
Everybody just laughed and nobody seemed to take me serious. Then after we all got dressed and we were walking to our cars, the guys started asking me if I was serious?
 When dead silence hit, that was when I figured they finally got what I was saying.
The next 2 practices were kind of quite and no one said much.
But then the curiosity started coming out and I was getting all kinds of questions. Everything from how I knew?, to what I ate that made me gay. It was weird.
But I eventually went on a date with a couple of the guys and had a blast. Sam turned out to be everything I had knew he was. The only person in my entire friends circle that had a problem was a little quite friend who was a bookworm. He became very antigay towards me and refused to hang out or even be seen talking to me.
Several years later, in college, the bookworm approached me and told me he was bisexual and that he was married and had a couple of kids.
He asked if we might go out for drinks one night? My reply was swift and to the point. "Sorry, but I don't hang around lying, deceitful people who are uglier on the inside than on the outside."  Then I walked away.

So no, I really didn't loose any friends from coming out. I did gain a few fuck buddies.

BUT!!!! I was never teased about being a faggot or called feminine. In fact, I was the guy who looked like the last person on earth that you wanted to piss off.
Many of my friends who were feminine and gay, or as they called it "fabulously flaming", they lost lots of friends and family.
Which never made sense to me. They looked and acted gay always. You would have to be blind and deaf to not know they were gay. So why get all upset when they say their gay?

I came out in 1980
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« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2017, 08:51:20 pm »

It just goes to show how shallow and intolerable some people are. If he/she acted all buddy-buddy with you before he/she knew you were gay and then rejected your friendship after you coming out, then he/she wasn't really your friend. That's what I call a "fake friendship" - someone who 'acts' like they're your friend/feels like they got your back, but really doesn't care enough about you to look past your sexuality.

A true friend wouldn't ever do that to you.

and to answer your question...yes a couple have. I kinda sensed they were jerks anyways before I came out to them. Glad they aren't in my life anymore Smiley
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« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2017, 10:25:53 pm »

Weirdly, I didn't lose any friends when I came out. However, it was when I took a stand against homophobia that my real friends remained.

An example was when I was at a party, where we were talking about our holiday travels. I mentioned I stayed at a friend's house for a few days, when a casual friend said, "So you sold your backside to him so that you could stay at his house."

I looked at him and replied, " This may surprise you, but gay people CAN have normal friendships with straight people with no sexual feelings involved. You might want to open your mind more."

Luckily there wasn't violence involved because

A) Everyone was glaring at him
B) I was 1.5 times his size. In muscle mass.



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« Reply #9 on: Yesterday at 09:47:27 pm »

sad
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