Losing friends after coming out?
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« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2017, 06:44:54 pm »

My first friend I came out to when I was 18 ended up giving me up as a friend. She was a Catholic that picked and chose what she found moral, and me being gay didn't sit well with her. What's ironic is that she only did anal because she wanted to stay a "virgin" until marriage and when told me about all the guys that fucked her in the ass didn't judge and cheered her on.

Aside from her though, -every- person I've told over the 7 years since has been really accepting and I've made TONS of friends that replaced her.
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« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2018, 02:01:10 pm »

I never lost any friends when I came out. But then again I really didn't hide like lots of guys do.
I just told people my barn door was open to all cowboys or cowgirls. Nobody on my football team ever said a word to me. I was still invited to part's and out on dates. Even hooked up with a couple of my teammates years later.
The only person I lost as a friend wasn't because of my being gay so much because he was very cool with it. But his wife some years later didn't feel comfortable with me and him going fishing and hanging out. So he kind of just quit speaking to me. But that was years after the fact.
family was a totally different story.
Most of my cousins avoid me like the plaque. Because most of us have had lots of sex together when we were kids.
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« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2018, 02:16:22 pm »

so anal sex doesnt make one non virgin? how crude? isnt that worse than vaginal sex? your friend is kinda twisted
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« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2018, 02:52:48 pm »

Sadly yeah  Undecided
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« Reply #24 on: May 02, 2018, 12:18:04 am »

I never lost any friends when I came out. But then again I really didn't hide like lots of guys do.
I just told people my barn door was open to all cowboys or cowgirls. Nobody on my football team ever said a word to me. I was still invited to part's and out on dates. Even hooked up with a couple of my teammates years later.
The only person I lost as a friend wasn't because of my being gay so much because he was very cool with it. But his wife some years later didn't feel comfortable with me and him going fishing and hanging out. So he kind of just quit speaking to me. But that was years after the fact.
family was a totally different story.
Most of my cousins avoid me like the plaque. Because most of us have had lots of sex together when we were kids.

Oh dear..

 :Smiley


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« Reply #25 on: May 14, 2018, 02:12:41 am »

Never had many close friends to begin with because of terrible personality. The ones able to endure it barely paid any attention - guess that hasn't really changed anything for them.
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« Reply #26 on: May 14, 2018, 05:01:23 pm »

I at the minimum lost three friends when I blurted out that I was bisexual. The first guy kept on trolling me by pretending to whisper something to someone's ear in front of me and "encouraging" me to go all the way and admit I am totally gay. The second and third guy just got real cold towards me, it was sort of a shame for the third guy, as he was a nerd and we hung out with the same clique and I couldn't open up to him about nerdy stuff.

One time in college, I was approached by one of my classmates who also went to the same high school with me, and asked if I was indeed gay. I said no, just bisexual, and didn't treat me any differently, which I like and prefer to the other guys.
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« Reply #27 on: May 31, 2018, 09:05:30 pm »

Even though it was about 12 years ago, I came out to my long-term -- high-school + 3 years military + 2 years after military -- friend.
after I confessed to him, his answer was short and to the point:

"I already have a gay friend. I can't have too many gay friends, people would think I'm gay"

it was hurtful that he couldn't make a room for another gay friend, but to this day though it pains me thinking about it, for some reason I couldn't resent him for this. after all, just 8 years of good friendship ended with a simple sentence.

Don't mean to be melodramatic  Wink
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« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2018, 04:01:52 pm »

I didn't lose friends after coming out.  What distanced me from people was the awful guy I partnered up with.  When he bit the dust, those people came back which was good.  True friends stay by you, though.  You're still the same person it's just this new thing they know.

And a real friend is there when the bumps in the road get too much.  You're better off without those who really didn't like you for you.  It hurts something fierce initially but later that burden you don't have to carry.
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« Reply #29 on: January 13, 2019, 06:19:30 pm »

they were not your real friends to begin with and thats good riddance for you
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« Reply #30 on: May 28, 2020, 01:58:54 am »

YES... and YES...

ON LOSING FRIENDS - Well, turns out I never really needed them anyway...

ON GAINING FRIENDS - They are still my closest of friends today... and I'm very lucky to have found them =)

This is 100% true.  Coming out shows you more of who your real friends are.  Some friends come and go in your life.  It's only natural anyways.
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