"Becoming" bottom
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« on: April 16, 2017, 08:25:54 am »

Hi all!
Since I've started having sex with men, I have been top. However, I have always been curious about being a bottom. Guys I have sex with seem to have a waaay better time than I do being top and I feel that sex will be more enjoyable if I can be vers.
However, I have tried a dildo (with looots of lub) and it is rarely pleasurable blow nose. Although little by little I am learning to relax, I feel that I am not quite there yet.
Any suggestion will be highly appreciated!



« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2017, 06:20:41 am »

muscle relaxers could help you. give them a shot


« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2017, 10:17:54 am »

enjoy rush Cheers


« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2017, 06:52:15 pm »

Never really thought about muscle relaxers, thanks for the idea!
And I DO enjoy rush... when being top xD


« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2017, 07:23:42 pm »

 If it isn't pleasurable for you, don't FORCE it. Period. That simple.  :Smiley


« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2017, 08:09:11 pm »

If it isn't pleasurable for you, don't FORCE it. Period. That simple.  :Smiley

I thought of that. Maybe some people are just not bottom for whatever reason. Just like that. I also thought this is a matter of not being relaxed enough.
But anyway, it is always a good idea to ask other people like you guys!


« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2017, 09:49:00 pm »

    Hey there.

    I can tell you that as a self-described "bottom" myself, I find using most dildos to be not very pleasurable at all. Maybe you're using the wrong type of dildo. A dildo can be too rigid and hard. Try using one that's more of an authentic dick-like texture and firmness. I'd also suggest maybe getting a graduated butt-plug set (sometimes referred to as a training set since they come in a back of usually three going from a small butt plug, to a medium sized, and then large one). They can be used to get you used to feeling of something in your butt.

    Also, bottoming is way more about the mindset and connection for me. Taking a guy's dick will always be more enjoyable than an inanimate object. Additionally, I'm a way more receptive bottom if a guy is willing to prep me with a bunch of hot foreplay first. Rimming, fingering, blowing me, etc. If a guy is unwilling to get me "ready" to be on the receiving end of his dick, then I am going to rate that sexual experience very poorly. After all if a guy's primary concern is just using your ass as a way to get him off then he's a bad top; at least that's the way I look at it.

    You said you've primarily been a top; I'm sure you've picked up on things that the "bottoms" you've been with enjoy, so apply them to yourself. Best recommendation, find a guy that is "verse" that you can play around with and experiment with. Be honest and say you haven't really bottomed but want to try, but you want to take things slow. From personal experience my first few times bottoming weren't very fun, because the "tops" were inexperienced and were all about just sticking their dick in me. It was uncomfortable and sometimes painful. The key is that you have to relax, breathe, and have a guy prep you with foreplay as I said earlier. If a guy rims you well you'll notice yourself being more comfortable and less tense, hence more receptive to penetration. That's also why I suggested fingering, as a finger is definitely smaller than a dick. Have him start with one, and then work up to two or three, so you can get ready for the girth of his dick. Sex shouldn't be a sprint, it should be more of a marathon. You gotta pace yourself and enjoy the ride. Those are my thoughts anyway.

    P.S. Whoever suggested taking muscle relaxers in order to bottom is stupid. You can become addicted, and if you have to take drugs to enjoy sex it means you're doing something very wrong. Same thing with poppers (which has a muscle-relaxant effect). I've done them once, thinking there was nothing wrong with them. After all you can buy them in a sex shop, so they can't be bad for you, right? WRONG. Some negative side-effects include:

  • Extremely high doses can cause the potentially fatal ‘methaemoglobinaemia’ whereby the blood is unable to carry oxygen to cells in the body (similar to what happens during Carbon Monoxide Poisoning).
  • Because Poppers cause blood pressure to drop and heart rate to rise, their use is riskier for people with glaucoma (high blood pressure in the eye) or breathing,heart or blood pressure irregularities.
  • The use of Poppers after taking drugs such as Viagra is dangerous as it can cause blood pressure to drop to dangerous, potentially fatal, levels.
  • Can cause eye damage or blindness because of blood flow decreasing to the eyes.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2017, 09:59:11 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2017, 11:18:12 pm »

That is a whole lot of VERY useful information. Cheers
My boyfriend is bottom, but I am sure I can get him to top me. And I actually know quite well where to "hit" with my dick to give him pleasure, so maybe I can apply that to myself (or give him directions so he can do it to me...).
Thank you so much for the time you have invested writing all those paragraphs, man, thay seem really helpful.


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