Being Versatile is a Nightmare
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« on: July 18, 2017, 10:26:24 am »

Hello everyone,
I'm currently going through a very difficult situation.

I've been in a relationship for over 6 years with my partner who I love. I'm versatile while he's top, so for all these years I never had the chance to express my top energy if you know what I mean, it stays there dormant and every time it comes up I push it aside, under the carpet.

For the first time ever some guy started hitting on me, he's younger and I assume he's bottom. He's very sweet and I have this urge to get to know him but I know that I'm committed. So at this moment I'm stressed and confused, also sad. Am I stupid to think twice on my relationship because of my top-sid not being expressed, is it stupid of me to want to get to know another person and for once in my life be the older guy.

Tops normally have that leading role, sort of like a dad, while bottoms are more on the passive and young side. I'm getting a bit fed up being the bottom, but I love my partner. So I really don't know what I'm doing
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« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2017, 01:54:04 pm »

It is best that u talk to ur partner about ur desires otherwise it may lead to stress for u
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« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2017, 02:15:01 pm »

Thx 4 the reply,
I have talked with him but he's top, he doesn't want to do something that isn't him, which i fully understand. He's ok with me trying with somebody else but first of all I think it's strange while in a relationship, second,I might fall for the new life style, and right now my mind really wants it. Sadly
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« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2017, 06:38:04 pm »

Thx 4 the reply,
I have talked with him but he's top, he doesn't want to do something that isn't him, which i fully understand. He's ok with me trying with somebody else but first of all I think it's strange while in a relationship, second,I might fall for the new life style, and right now my mind really wants it. Sadly

Well since you two talked and he agrees with you doing it, maybe you should try so at least you know how to feel about. And I understand that he doesn't want to try to be a bottom for you, but you've been a bottom for him for 6 years and you're clearly not happy about it.
I think you should try with someone else since he says it's ok, maybe do a threesome, I don't know if that's something you guys are open to it.
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« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2017, 07:54:36 pm »

I don't know how i can disconnect myself from being in a relationship to trying out other guys. I just might be fed up being bottom and that results in a big issue in a relationship  blow nose
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« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2017, 11:22:04 pm »

Tops normally have that leading role, sort of like a dad, while bottoms are more on the passive and young side. I'm getting a bit fed up being the bottom, but I love my partner. So I really don't know what I'm doing
That isn't always the case, by any means. Have you considered suggesting to your partner a scenario where he's a passive top and you ride him like a dildo or something? Perhaps taking a more dominant role while bottoming could help scratch that itch?
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« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2017, 12:51:15 pm »

Does he really really love you? A man in love will do anything to please his partner, including being a bottom once in a while.
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« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2017, 04:58:16 pm »

Yes we did all sorts of kinky stuff in which I sorta capture him or tie him up, undress and so on so forth. It's all very thrilling, but there's still a but.

He loves me i know, he did many things for me, but you can't just wake up day and think about getting the dick from your bottom.Sure it may sound fun to some but not to everyone. I don't even see him as a bottom, he's that "straight-ish", riding him would be like he's doing me a favour, and in sex, that's that's huge turnoff.

We're talking relationships here, not one night stands,
In a relationship, it's nice to see the bottom wanting you to top him badly, and the top wanting to top that bottom. When I tie my parter and stuff, he doesn't get stimulated, so he's doing me a favour. When I ride him as a bottom, his dick doesn't remain hard. You get where I'm going?

A top is a top, a bottom is a bottom, a versatile is a mess unless met with another versatile.
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« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2017, 08:24:54 pm »

Versatile guys have the same "problem" that bottoms and tops have. They needs to find men who are also vers.
I would never date someone who is exclusively top or bottom. (I'm vers). It just would not work out sexually Sad
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« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2017, 09:59:22 pm »

Versatile guys have the same "problem" that bottoms and tops have. They needs to find men who are also vers.
I would never date someone who is exclusively top or bottom. (I'm vers). It just would not work out sexually Sad

Exactly that's what I'm saying.
Would you leave your long term partner who's exclusively top or bottom cause you want to experience being top or bottom? That's whatwhat's freaking me out, am I being an asshole for considering that?
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« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2017, 10:19:06 pm »

So you have a choice, siting on your ass and being dissatisfied with your relationship or face your fate. Sounds like you have no choice.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2017, 10:25:44 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


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« Reply #11 on: July 21, 2017, 09:10:31 am »

Versatile guys have the same "problem" that bottoms and tops have. They needs to find men who are also vers.
I would never date someone who is exclusively top or bottom. (I'm vers). It just would not work out sexually Sad

Exactly that's what I'm saying.
Would you leave your long term partner who's exclusively top or bottom cause you want to experience being top or bottom? That's whatwhat's freaking me out, am I being an asshole for considering that?

It's a really unfortunate situation you're in. How old are you? If you're young, leave. If you are older, have a long talk with him. Consider opening your relationship if that's at all possible.
Many gay men are in relationships that have sexual issues because either the attraction is not strong enough (yet they are in love) or the top/bottom ratio doesnt work out. Sad
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« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2017, 04:21:46 pm »

We had a talk and we opted to having me go out with this fella if he's up for it, then we can see how it goes and how it influences the relationship.
Guess I'll be topping... hopefully! The fact that he's ok with me experimenting is a bit of a relief. I was committed to a relationship at a very young age, 19, and I knew what I was getting into, but not the whole versatile issue.

I always tried to ignore it and express in minor doses, but I guess it's not enough to the mind (if there's even such a thing as enough).
However I look forward for this, if the guy doesn't like it, are there any clean volunteers?   Cheesy 
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« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2017, 07:28:59 pm »

Trust me it is better to be in relationship than have great sex. If you open your relationship you will spen your most free time on romeo and grindr and not with your partner.
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« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2017, 06:46:18 am »

Trust me it is better to be in relationship than have great sex. If you open your relationship you will spen your most free time on romeo and grindr and not with your partner.

 Evil


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