I can't decide if I want children
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« on: July 19, 2017, 08:18:54 pm »

I feel like straight people don't really think of it as a choice and just get married and have kids  because that's what everyone does. But gay men have that "choice" of either to have kids and not to have kids. Honestly, I don't know if I should or shouldn't. I don't have any childless role models who are older than I am who can tell me point blank "like is good with no kids" or "i regret not having kids".

It's just confusing. I have a fear that if I don't have kids I will miss out on what most people experience in life. On the other hand, sometimes I just feel lazy and I guess selfish and I don't want to raise kids.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm not yearning for them.


« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2017, 10:42:00 pm »

How old are you? I'm 26 and I think I can be a father when I reach 39. Anyway, for a different people it's the different expirience. Anyway, if you are great scientist or genius artist and you can make something completely new in this you must have a kids, just a biological point of view.


« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2018, 03:26:55 am »

Parenting is a big commitment.  Don't underestimate the difficulty of the task you would take on. You have to put them before yourself until they grow up (about 24), but don't think it will end then.  You will be their parent forever.  If it is something you really want to do it can be very rewarding, but unless/until you are sure, don't do it.


« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2018, 03:26:30 am »

Every child is its own experience and comes with both rewards and regrets, joy and pain.
I will say this.
It's the hardest job you will ever love.
Until they become a teenager and then you start wondering if you can get a refund on everything you spent on them. Cheers


« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2018, 09:40:38 pm »

I really want children... But i will Never have some because i do not want Thema to get bullied because they have a Gay dad.


« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2018, 11:34:58 am »

I think that if you're unsure about having kids (right now), don't.


« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2019, 02:11:18 pm »

I think one must be really sure if he wasnt to leave personal aspirations on a side for a long time before...  properly raising kids demands time, no nanny/toy/other can do it for you if you want a kid witouth resentments


« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2019, 06:01:57 am »

it all is up to you. dont be pressured by societal norms. have children when you want it

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