And by realize that you were pretty gay, I don't mean that you just were into men and enjoyed looking at underwear ads, I mean like that you were super gay.
For me it was when I went by a gay bar and saw this guy, probably middle aged, in the parking lot in this ridiculous outfit with leather chaps with his ass hanging out, just some cod piece thing covering his dick, and a leather vest. Was like the sort of outfit you'd imagine someone putting on for some comedy movie with the most stereotypically gay leather outfit. And main thing I could think of when I saw this guy was that I wanted to get fucked silly by this guy as he called me his bitch.
Previous to that I usually felt like I was a pretty straight acting gay guy that wouldn't want to get into anything all that weird, feeling like while I may sleep with some guys that it was basically just wanting to be like hitting up a bro and having some fun, after that night I pretty much wanted to be fucked long and hard by older and/or black men that could make me feel like the only the only thing I was good for was being fucked.
If you hadn't visited this bar, you would have been married to a woman, wouldn't you?