"Should I include that I am disabled in my dating profile?" -- Josh Galassi
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Author Topic: "Should I include that I am disabled in my dating profile?" -- Josh Galassi  (Read 458 times)
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« on: September 17, 2017, 09:03:57 pm »

Link to article: https://www.queerty.com/include-disabled-dating-profile-20170917
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« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2017, 08:37:36 am »

That's a great topic, Zeitgeist.  I see that in the article, the subject has cerebral palsy, which is currently incurable and long-term.

Personally, I would share that information before a first date, because some people simply aren't willing to accommodate serious medical conditions in their pursuit of "perfect partners."  Although that's their right, why should he waste a date that will go nowhere?
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« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2017, 03:52:07 pm »

That's a great topic, Zeitgeist.  I see that in the article, the subject has cerebral palsy, which is currently incurable and long-term.

Personally, I would share that information before a first date, because some people simply aren't willing to accommodate serious medical conditions in their pursuit of "perfect partners."  Although that's their right, why should he waste a date that will go nowhere?


Grindr is a mess of self-interested and shallow people, tbh. I would bring up disabilities in person but not over text. The imagination is the worst enemy.
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« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2017, 04:41:12 pm »

One of the first things I noticed on the profile is a check-box for HIV status - which is a disability status.

I think it's complicated -it's essentially chosing at what point you want to get rejected.  Do you want to get ignored from the get go or would you prefer to get to know someone first before they tell you they wouldn't have spoken to you if they'd known.

Then there an issue that wasn't mentioned about people who fetishize certain disabilities.  I know a woman who met her husband through an amputee-fetish site.

I have an invisible disability.  My choice is to talk about it only when it becomes relevant - usually at the time we're talking about meeting.
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« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2017, 04:54:29 pm »

One of the first things I noticed on the profile is a check-box for HIV status - which is a disability status.

I think it's complicated -it's essentially chosing at what point you want to get rejected.  Do you want to get ignored from the get go or would you prefer to get to know someone first before they tell you they wouldn't have spoken to you if they'd known.

Then there an issue that wasn't mentioned about people who fetishize certain disabilities.  I know a woman who met her husband through an amputee-fetish site.

I have an invisible disability.  My choice is to talk about it only when it becomes relevant - usually at the time we're talking about meeting.

Would you characterise HIV Positive as a disability, though? I never thought of HIV in that way.
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« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2017, 04:19:59 pm »

It's not my personal opinion.  Anti-Discrimination laws for HIV+ status are organized under Disability rights.
ie.
Quote
If you are living with HIV or AIDS, you are protected against discrimination under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA).
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« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2017, 01:05:33 am »

It's not my personal opinion.  Anti-Discrimination laws for HIV+ status are organized under Disability rights.
ie.
Quote
If you are living with HIV or AIDS, you are protected against discrimination under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA).

 Evil


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« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2017, 12:56:49 am »

I've seen a few people on dating site mentioning it.
One of them was like the whole wall of text (it was a couple I guess) and then there was that last sentence "One of us doesn't have an arm since they were born" and I was like "aha". It was kind of funny writing about all the expectations they have and all the details and then going like "oh  and one of us has one hand". Like it's a big deal but it's not at the same time. It shouldn't be. But it still is. Hm, still can't figure it out. Some guy I saw had just a profile pic on the wheelchair, and I think that was kinda cool. "This is how I look. It's not who I am, but this is how I look, and that wheel chair is a part of my appearance" at least I took it that way. I kinda feel sympathy for guys like this. I think you should be upfront with it. Well it's like with being gay. We tend to say and shout that being guy doesn't describe us as people. So you don't introduce and say "I'm Josh, I'm gay", the same way you wouldn't say "hi, I like your photos, I'm disabled" but on the other hand it's such a big info. Someone might feel disappointed or just cheated if you don't say it.
For me it's like with other guys. If a guy is disabled and not my type well, just no. But there are some disabled people I find attractive. I guess I follow two or three of them on instagram, and they're post are really great. One guy is on a wheelchair and still hot. You know it's like it's easy to let go when something happens to you and while the disabled thing doesn't describe you as a person it probably reflects itself in your insecurities and lack of confidence. But there are guys who take care of themselves, go to gym don't get a belly despite being immobilized and that's really attractive. They're full of energy and infect you with it. There's also a guy (bionicguy) who has an artifiical leg and well... you wouldn't tell. He's such a pro with it, always hitting gym and just looking fucking badass and I would totally date this guy and that's hardly a disability in my eyes.
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« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2017, 09:34:36 am »

I've seen a few people on dating site mentioning it.
One of them was like the whole wall of text (it was a couple I guess) and then there was that last sentence "One of us doesn't have an arm since they were born" and I was like "aha". It was kind of funny writing about all the expectations they have and all the details and then going like "oh  and one of us has one hand". Like it's a big deal but it's not at the same time. It shouldn't be. But it still is. Hm, still can't figure it out. Some guy I saw had just a profile pic on the wheelchair, and I think that was kinda cool. "This is how I look. It's not who I am, but this is how I look, and that wheel chair is a part of my appearance" at least I took it that way. I kinda feel sympathy for guys like this. I think you should be upfront with it. Well it's like with being gay. We tend to say and shout that being guy doesn't describe us as people. So you don't introduce and say "I'm Josh, I'm gay", the same way you wouldn't say "hi, I like your photos, I'm disabled" but on the other hand it's such a big info. Someone might feel disappointed or just cheated if you don't say it.
For me it's like with other guys. If a guy is disabled and not my type well, just no. But there are some disabled people I find attractive. I guess I follow two or three of them on instagram, and they're post are really great. One guy is on a wheelchair and still hot. You know it's like it's easy to let go when something happens to you and while the disabled thing doesn't describe you as a person it probably reflects itself in your insecurities and lack of confidence. But there are guys who take care of themselves, go to gym don't get a belly despite being immobilized and that's really attractive. They're full of energy and infect you with it. There's also a guy (bionicguy) who has an artifiical leg and well... you wouldn't tell. He's such a pro with it, always hitting gym and just looking fucking badass and I would totally date this guy and that's hardly a disability in my eyes.


++1

 Smiley


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« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2017, 02:02:28 pm »

I am not disabled so I can only hypothesize, but I would include it in my profile for no other reason than to weed out the asshats and jack-offs.
there are a lot of great people out there, but I don't have the time nor inclination to start chatting with someone and half an hour in mention it and them back off because their imagination runs wild. Or worse meet up with people who clearly came for one thing but arrive and see another and have them grimace awkwardly through a date, knowing their "I'll give you a call sometime" lines were as empty as their heads.  police

If you are upfront about it in your profile, without excuses or overly long explanations, I think anyone worth your time and who likes the cut of your gib in general would not see it as inhibitive to dating you. In fact they might view it as a positive that you were straight forward about it. I would think here's a guy that has his head and heart in a good place, I'm going to shoot them a message.  Cool
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« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2017, 06:30:34 pm »

I am not disabled so I can only hypothesize, but I would include it in my profile for no other reason than to weed out the asshats and jack-offs.
there are a lot of great people out there, but I don't have the time nor inclination to start chatting with someone and half an hour in mention it and them back off because their imagination runs wild. Or worse meet up with people who clearly came for one thing but arrive and see another and have them grimace awkwardly through a date, knowing their "I'll give you a call sometime" lines were as empty as their heads.  police

If you are upfront about it in your profile, without excuses or overly long explanations, I think anyone worth your time and who likes the cut of your gib in general would not see it as inhibitive to dating you. In fact they might view it as a positive that you were straight forward about it. I would think here's a guy that has his head and heart in a good place, I'm going to shoot them a message.  Cool

 Cool


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