So for years I searched for the perfect guy. And finally I found one.. Almost all our interests are the same, both of us are each other's type, and while we do live in different town, thats just a cheap 1,5h bustrip. We've been together for over a year, and shared many happy moments, until yesterday..
So for the last 2 months, my bf started to get a bit distant and "too busy" (even though I knew he wasnt..). And that led me to be more clingy, even somewhat manipulative. And i just kept getting left on read.. And for example, I got offered a research interview in his town, so I offered him times in December when i could visit for both that interview and him. He got angry at me for "trying to force his hand by agreeing to some interview".
The air started to get tense, until last week when I finally snapped out of it after talking to a friend, and realized how I behaved was wrong and annoying. So I wrote him an apology, and asked that we leave the drama as water under the bridge. He told me he will give me the answer in a few days as he is currently working on school stuff.
And so came yesterday, after those "few days". He asked me if i had any exams or such coming up, to which i said no. He said it was good. And that we should break up. The reason? He cant "trust" me anymore, and just wants to be alone. So here i was, ready to start building a better future again, and he decides to break it up completely... What followed was an emotional rollercoaster where i just broke more and more down into desperation, while he remained adamant and cold. "Begging wont do you any good. It's over."... And eventually he blocked me everywhere, like facebook, even game applications... And ended with "It will help you get over me. I hope you find happiness and have a successful life. Goodbye". And blocked me on whatsapp...
I'm just...so lost..
I told him that the reason i wanted to meet him so badly recently was because i wanted to tell him i loved him, but it seems that ironically, my love cost me my love. During the discussion, i also asked if my love for him was so bad. "It isn't. I just cant trust you anymore. I bet after this, youll still try to catfish me and such.". "What we had were just moments of happiness."
I'm so heartbroken.. For a long time he filled my head with hopes and dreams of a happy future spent together and now..he didnt accept my apology and instead shattered me, leaving me as a mess..
What do i do?
I tried doing all sorts of activities and things to get my mind off of it, i cried to my friends, i even came out to my parents because i just couldnt hold it in and they realized something was wrong.
I want him back........I need him back... I cant sleep at night, i feel restless during the day..
Could there be hope?..
And dont say that there are more fish out there in the sea.. Because ive already seen those fish..And this was The catch.