well i have some sort of obsessive compulsive behavior...
when i do something, i do something alot till i burn and i lose interest...
happened with sex... (even 3 times a day with 3 different guys... morning, afternoon, night)
after about 10 years on having alot of sex, and doing hardcore stuff (bondage, electro stim)
i just simply lost interest in doing it with real people... i feel it is a drag

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the fact about people being males, but sex not always being easy, and people disappearing, not calling you... is quite normal and happens to everyone...
15 years ago i was worried it was my fault, that i was flawed and broken... but it just happens to everyone.
here is 1 story:
years ago i meet this guy at his home, i am not self confident so i get some cialis (it made my cock go hard in few seconds from soft just from watching it... and no matter how many time i came... it went up almost immediately just by touching it...)
me being a 25yo top i give him 35-40yo the ride of his life... *cough cough* ok now i am being just a bit too arrogant, lets just say i gave him a very good ride... and he called me his "young stallion"
do you think he bothered to call me back, to be his fuck buddy ?
of course not... and i was thinking it was my fault at that time, that i wasn't enough...
months later... i am at the home of 1 of my friends, who knows this guy... as they lived in the same small town during childhood... they chat using the computer... i am helping him mounting a furniture while he calls me...
here is what happened: they were boasting the good sex encounter they had, and that guy talked about a very good sex encounter he had... with a young stallion, and described me... since my friend knows the story of my life, he found out it was me... my friend gave the guy my profile link to be sure it was me... and it was really me... i was described as a young stallion who gave him 1 of the best rides of his life...
then why he didn't call me back ? why he didn't want to be my fuck buddy... i always put myself down my whole life... i thought i wasn't enough...
i also, in the end, ended up using sex enhancing drugs i didn't need... since i was feeling i wasn't enough...
and then... it ends up... people are just lazy and easily bored, and would rather not give a fuck... and just swipe at a new encounter secretly hoping it would be better than the previous ones... why bother with 1 person only... when you got a virtually infinite amount of males on apps these days ? (it was gayromeo/gaydar 7 years ago)
guess what... that night, when i came back home... i received a message from this guy... (to which i didn't reply and just deleted it)
do you think he was really interested in meeting me ?
nope... and not because i am worthless...
but simply because he had full balls and wanted to unload them with the first random person he could meet...
i was just 1 random dude from a bunch to which he probably sent the same identical message.
i realized this thing when i was 26yo