Is My Boyfriend A Sex Addict?
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« on: January 24, 2018, 04:54:36 pm »

Okay, so I've been in a relationship now with a guy for a bit and I think he's a sex addict.  We started the relationship open (first for me) because he said he's never had a relationship that wasn't open and doesn't think he could do it.  Okay by me, my last relationship ended because I was cheating, so I'm no saint and I liked the idea of open honesty.  Anyway, he revealed that he's had sex with literally thousands of guys and he is ALWAYS on grindr, a4a, planet romeo, daddy hunt, etc, every day, usually at the same time.  It's really damaging to the relationship and we don't have sex anymore because I'm turned off, not by the numbers but because he's ALWAYS on the sites.  Does this sound like a sex addict or maybe that we're just not compatible and should break up?  I can handle the addiction if there's help, but if this is just his behavior I don't want to dictate he change for me, since he's obviously not willing to do so anyway.  I don't want to judge him, I just want to be happy.  He can fuck everyone he wants but not at the expense of my heart.  What do you think?  Anyone had any similar experiences? How did you handle it?
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« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2018, 03:07:46 pm »

Sounds like you want totally different things from a relationship. obviously casual sex is his main hobby and past time.

makes me wonder why you both wanted a relationship with each other in the first tbh. Talk to him about it. ask him what makes you special to him that he wants a relationship rather than just sex with you like all the other guys. If you don't get an answer that gels with what you want from the relationship, maybe it's time to reevaluate it.

Just from what you said, it sounds like your want an emotional connection and he just wants someone to hang out with. It's only a thought, but is it possible he likes the idea of being in relationship because it makes his hook-ups seem more "naughty" and dangerous? If he was single and hooking up with guys, he's just another single guy, but if he's in a relationship it could be mentally increasing his currency with these randos because he's already "got". just a thought.
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« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2018, 05:44:25 am »

At least you know that no one will ever be able to satisfy him.
Some people are just addicted to those behaviors.
Straight people are getting addicted to those apps also.

But that situation and others are the consequences of an open relationship.
Maybe you two should set some rules.
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« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2018, 09:56:52 am »

It seems that maybe he is not a sex addict but just like the way he lives right now. If he is a sex addict, maybe hook up apps will not be enough for him as it always take times to find a certain target. At present, lots of people get used to the hookup apps and cannot control themselves, maybe your BF is one of them.

You may be sad about this relationship as how he acts. If you want to have a relationship that can turn you on and let you feel happy and comfortable, maybe you should reconsider this kind of open relationship.

Open relationship allows to have own sex life but still focus on the connection between two lovers. No evidences shows open relationship is harmful but only show it is not suitable for everyone. If you do want to continue this relationship, you have to talke with your BF if the talking can be helpful. If he just continue what he wants to do but ignores you as always, maybe this unhealthy open relationship should be called off and you need to move on to another one. Just remember, a great relationship will make you happy and comfortable and an terrible one will ruin your life and take disaster to you.
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« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2018, 12:00:36 am »

He doesn't sound like a sex addict but an addict to theses apss. Unless he's meeting ang fucking every guy he chsts with.
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« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2018, 12:34:19 am »

Sounds like you want totally different things from a relationship. obviously casual sex is his main hobby and past time.

makes me wonder why you both wanted a relationship with each other in the first tbh. Talk to him about it. ask him what makes you special to him that he wants a relationship rather than just sex with you like all the other guys. If you don't get an answer that gels with what you want from the relationship, maybe it's time to reevaluate it.

Just from what you said, it sounds like your want an emotional connection and he just wants someone to hang out with. It's only a thought, but is it possible he likes the idea of being in relationship because it makes his hook-ups seem more "naughty" and dangerous? If he was single and hooking up with guys, he's just another single guy, but if he's in a relationship it could be mentally increasing his currency with these randos because he's already "got". just a thought.

i like this answer. you really need to think about you. are you up for supporting him through a treatment or would it be less painful to break up? you dont have any responsibility for his actions. you have to decide if you want to take part or find your own way. (my recommendation would be to break up).
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« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2018, 01:21:30 am »

seems like it..so if he had sex with thousands, so how many average of that would be per day? thats a whole lot..does he have a job
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