The Gay Community's Fear and Loathing of Asian Men Must End
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Author Topic: The Gay Community's Fear and Loathing of Asian Men Must End  (Read 111 times)
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« on: February 18, 2018, 05:39:01 pm »

Opinion piece from the Advocate

An excerpt:

Talking about race is tricky. I think we can all agree on that.

Nobody wants to be the boy who cried racist. But it’s also important to reflect and dissect some of the ways that we think about, feel for, and judge others. Society has grown more inclusive in so many ways, but we still have a long way to go. I share my experience not for myself, but for the furtherance of inclusion and understanding of minority experiences. I also understand that we all have our types. Maybe I’m not yours. Maybe I am. I’m not here to convince you that you should find men of Asian-descent to be sexy. What I do want to have is a conversation about why this marginalization of Asian men exists not only in our own culture but on a much larger scale. For my battle personally, it’s the perception of race and the stigmas behind it, true or not, that is the issue. I hope you continue reading, continue thinking, and continue growing. I hope we can do this together.

In the last few years, I have suddenly become very aware of my race. No, I wasn’t adopted, and to my knowledge, I’m only partially color-blind. It wasn’t until Hollywood started to have a conversation about whitewashing Asian characters when I fully realized that I was part of a minority group who wasn’t being seen or heard.

I am mixed race. My mom was born and raised in Hong Kong, and my father is from California. In case you need further clarification, I’m half Chinese and half Caucasian (mostly German, we think). I ride the line 50/50. I was also born in Hong Kong and then raised in a mostly white, affluent suburb in Northern California; less than 20 miles outside of San Francisco. I even went by my Chinese name for the first 20 years of my life before deciding to go by my legally given first name for “professional reasons.” I never thought twice about it until I moved to Los Angeles to act and began to learn that some people just want to put you into an identifiable box. Asian (check!). Nerd (check!). Asexual (wait). Where I was told my “ethnic ambiguity” would be an asset, I later realized that it simply made me harder to define.

Now let’s set Hollywood aside and deal with another problem at hand: the desexualization of Asian males, specifically within the LGBTQI community. It’s 2018 and people still feel that it’s OK to write “No blacks, no Asians. Not racist, just my preference” in their dating profiles. (OK, fine. Hookup app profiles.) Excluding an entire group of people by calling out a specific race is the absolute definition of racism. Plain and simple. By writing that, one implies that if someone were choosing between the last two men on earth (regardless of personality, skills, size, shape, etc.) that one option could feasibly be eliminated solely based on skin color.

Behind a veil of anonymity on these apps, people feel that they can say whatever, no holds barred, and that no one will be offended. I believe that sexual racism exists. Those who are writing “not into Asians” on their profiles aren’t necessarily mistreating Asians in their day-to-day lives, but there must be something else that lies beneath the surface, subconscious and dormant. Again, I’m not telling you that you can’t have a type, but I want to question where this “type” stems from.

The media controls much of what we see and experience as a culture. When I was growing up in the '90s, there were ever fewer Asian actors/models/storytellers in the public eye. Sure, we had Jackie Chan and Jet Li, but they were known for their martial arts and were never considered to be traditionally “sexy” leading men – and it’s definitely not to say that they couldn’t be. I always think back on the 2000 film Romeo Must Die with Jet Li and Aaliyah. In an R-rated film, the two of them had a pretty PG relationship. Even as a leading man, Jet Li wasn’t ever set up to “get the girl.”

How often did we see the token Asian character as just a tech nerd or sidekick? How often were Asian men included in People’s Sexiest Man Alive issue? How often were Asian men positioned to lead a film that wasn’t just based in martial arts? We are making progress and kicking down doors now in 2018, fighting for diversity and inclusion, but you can’t help but wonder if this period of time has shaped the way many people think and feel about who or what they are attracted to. My mind races back to what we did consider to be sexy (or even just slightly scandalous) back then and I can really only think of the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogues, filled with what they wanted us to view as the male ideal – young, straight, muscled, and white.


« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2018, 02:58:17 am »

I used the remember the Advocate being very good...what happened to it?

Anyway, another rant regarding race.  Though the writer must remember he's developing in a society that, even as the melting pot it is, still groups people of certain races into certain cliches.

I find certain asian men to be incredibly sexy...yes, I had pervy feelings towards Jackie Chan.  Bruce Lee's bare and ripped torso during the mirror-maze scene in Enter The Dragon aroused certain feelings in my younger self...pretty strong ones.

What I'm trying to say is that for every Asian complaining about their 'de-sexualization' by the evil and vain white men, there are several white men who love 'em.

(Granted, there are handsome asian men and ugly asian men, just like with any race)


« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2018, 09:52:16 am »

Clearly, this is another rant at white people.   

Any other group can have a preference for their own race, but white people are racists if we do.   

No one gets butt hurt over chubby chasers, but they get butt hurt over those that aren't. 

If a white person claims to be "color blind", they are called a racist.   If they admiot they see color, then they are called a racist.


« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2018, 03:10:01 pm »

"You must be white downstairs" seems like a pretty iffy thing to say to a biracial guy, tbh.


« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2018, 01:34:07 am »

This is stupid.
Just because you don't find someone personally attractive makes you a racist?

I am very very multiracial. Got a little bit of every corner of the globe in me. But I am picky about who I sleep with.
But when it comes to being friends? Then I am color blind completely.

All people have preferences and races is one of those larger categories that people are just placed in.

People need to quit looking for racism where there isn't any.


« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2018, 03:21:21 am »

Frankly, telling others who they MUST find attractive strikes me as really, really, really wrong. A person is attracted to who they are attracted to - and no-one else but that person should EVER have a say in it. It's a very personal thing, and nobody has the right to turn it into a vehicle to shame others.


« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2018, 11:02:57 am »

Frankly, telling others who they MUST find attractive strikes me as really, really, really wrong. A person is attracted to who they are attracted to - and no-one else but that person should EVER have a say in it. It's a very personal thing, and nobody has the right to turn it into a vehicle to shame others.

The irony is strong with this one. 

You believe that gays are evil unless they adopt the name queer, but here you are saying we have the right to personal preferences.

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