my dad never hugged me untill i was 20
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« on: September 03, 2018, 01:46:31 pm »

so wanna disccuss with u this mainly
my dad really never hugged me untill  i was 20 and then we both cried
but it was too late i already was searching for other's hug?
i think this affected me somehow and that im aattracted to older men
what do u think?
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« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2018, 01:48:03 am »

Wow, I'm sorry. Mine had a hard time showing his emotions but it wasn't that extreme.  I'd have to say yes, only because three friends of mine who grew up without or estranged from their Fathers all had serious grey fox fever. Not that it is a bad thing, older guys are typically more appreciative, better "fixed", and more shall we say "forgiving".  My only warning would be that in most cases it fizzles because they are in two very different places in life.
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« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2018, 04:35:33 am »

well yes and thats causing a problem
we aren't at the same level
i want to experience lots of things still i love him and want nothing but him
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« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2018, 08:44:02 am »

I had a brief fling with an older guy when I was 22 and he was 48. He was WAY past the club thing, and a lot of other things that were part of my life then. Despite my best efforts to get him to come, he always encouraged me to go ahead with my friends, he would see me later.. and he always did lol. It was a fun summer, he spoiled me terribly - despite my repeated warnings it wasn't going anywhere. I had to return to College, and he knew that when we started seeing each other. A few years later when I was done with college my views and sights on pretty much everything were different. I was just starting life, he was closer to the back side of it.. We both wanted different things. We both lead very different lives.

So I guess what i am saying is what seems to simple and clear to you now - trust me it will change later and unless he is in complete denial he knows that. Want to have a fling? It can be a sweet experience, just don't get attached. In a few years time you will totally understand this conversation.. I swear.

If you are looking to begin an LTR, I would try to stay + or - 10 years of where you are now. Again, just friendly advise.
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« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2018, 04:55:51 pm »

I wonder if there's a correlation between being gay and having father issues. I always wondered.
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« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2018, 11:55:25 pm »

My personal experience says no. I was smitten with boys in kindergarten, and my dad got zero involvement in that. I find the whole "incest" line some porn sites have been pumping out really disturbing, and a total boner killer. For decades gay men have fought to fend off the "sexual deviate" thing, these sites set the cause back to the stone age with crap like that. Gross.
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« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2018, 07:13:32 am »

While my dad and I were close when I was younger, there's definitely a disconnect between us now. We barely share any hobbies/interest and most of the time I find it hard to make small talk with him.
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« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2018, 06:13:40 pm »

I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately my Father passed away before I came out. I'd like to think we would have remained close. Did you guys have any shared interests before you came out? Perhaps if you reached out to him on that level, you might be able to reconnect? I think it is natural that Fathers and sons do a bit of drifting apart, even without the "gay" thing. My father was a huge NASCAR fan. Much as I detested it, I would go with him to the races feigning interest just to be close to him. 

We had a really tumultuous relationship in my early teens, I blame myself for some of that - I was acting out and rebelling as a lot of kids do. By 16 I had it out of my system, and we reconnected over a shared love of old cars. He died when I was 17, and I was thankful we had that time to make peace. He was gone when I came out, but I'd like to think we would have remained connected.
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« Reply #8 on: November 19, 2018, 12:38:18 am »

I wonder if there's a correlation between being gay and having father issues. I always wondered.
Plenty of homosexuals have had healthy relationships with their parents. If bad parenting was a factor in being gay, the percentage of gay people in the world would be WAY higher.
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