Shut down sexuality
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« on: April 02, 2020, 12:18:46 pm »

So, I have nasty skin condition, meaning nothing physical is allowed, and in recent years I've got some mental issues, so platonic relationship is kinda hard too (I tried to keep self-control, still several good guys are now pissed at me).
And in Russia with all these "propaganda laws" available pool of potential partners is pretty small even without such problems.

Is there any way to, er, turn off all sexual and romantic needs? Rationally, I understand my predicament, but not all parts of me want to listen, and that frustration adds to stress and makes mental issues worse.
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« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2020, 05:35:23 am »

I'm sorry to hear this, i don't think i can be of help since i've always been a loner/Lonely boy, i've never been with anyone at all (except some experiences as a kid)

This year i wanted to work on myself, feel happy of who i am and maybe that way i would get the courage to seek romantic relations, but this coronavirus situation has just set me back so much :C

i've never felt what it is to miss the connection to somebody, i'm afraid of it. i Wonder sometimes if i experience being with somebody and we separate, will i feel even worse?? what if i get rejected, will i fall into even more terrible shame?

i'm sorry to hijack this thread, but reading your experience made me want to share mine.

i hope you can be happy, remember to treat your mental issues professionally, i think i should do the same.
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« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2020, 09:12:19 pm »

The skin problem is causing you to feel shame. That with the Russian laws and all he pressure makes you feel like you should hide and repress a part of you. Obviously it is possible to hide and supress all desire. Is it healthy no. It will ruin your mental and physical health. You should try and seek therapy to help you deal with the image issues from your disease.
Its okay to want to be alone its not ok to think you deserve to be alone.
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« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2020, 03:28:32 pm »

Hi!
Sorry to hear about you.
Maybe you can find some chat friend on this platform and develop some frankness with them.
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« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2020, 08:06:08 pm »

Is there any way to, er, turn off all sexual and romantic needs? Rationally, I understand my predicament, but not all parts of me want to listen, and that frustration adds to stress and makes mental issues worse.

No, there is no way to turn off your sexual and romantic needs.  You can ignore them, suppress them, etc., but you can't turn them off. 

I watched this film the other day, about a pedophile.  The film was just okay but in one scene, a psychiatrist he seeks help from is very blunt with him about the fact that all he will ever be able to do is suppress his desires and not act on them, but he will never "get well" or be able to "cure" his pedophilia and rid himself of his sexual desires.

https://www.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=744a6386642ad7776fddec564644bbb99cc37cd8aa2ad892

I am so sorry that you are in Russia where there is so much persecution.
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« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2020, 06:09:33 am »

No, there is no way to turn off your sexual and romantic needs.  You can ignore them, suppress them, etc., but you can't turn them off. 

I watched this film the other day, about a pedophile.  The film was just okay but in one scene, a psychiatrist he seeks help from is very blunt with him about the fact that all he will ever be able to do is suppress his desires and not act on them, but he will never "get well" or be able to "cure" his pedophilia and rid himself of his sexual desires.
I am so sorry that you are in Russia where there is so much persecution.

Living in Russia is just an icing on the cake - at least in my city you can hook up with someone. The main trouble is skin and head problems, with which I wouldn't get any even in country with legalised gay marriage, but anyway.
Thank you for the answer. Not comforting, but at least definite.


Sorry to hear about you.
Maybe you can find some chat friend on this platform and develop some frankness with them.
You know, I tried chats. For some reason they make me only ennuous and sick. Maybe it's the chats, maybe it's me and stunted ability to make connection.


Its okay to want to be alone its not ok to think you deserve to be alone.
Yeah, so I deserve to not be alone, but being unable to get it? What's the difference besides semantics?
I hate this tune - "okay, you won't achieve anything, but you still must toil and not give up, because otherwise your life is a failure". Because, I don't know, I'm ruining the image or something, for the ones who do not have my problems? When you're already the failure, what's the point?
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« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2020, 01:54:54 pm »

And now for the funny stuff. Roughly once per year I fail self-restraint and create a profile on dating site. Each time it's a mistake.
This time I've found someone at least willing to humour me for a while. I tried to escalate a bit...
Then it turns out he doesn't even live in my city (or in Russia at all, and yes, I made him do a video confirmation of his surroundings) anymore, and has a constant boyfriend too. He was just too lazy to update his info, and chats for fun.

If fate stoops to such bullshit to remind me of my place, I... it's... well, fuck it. Now I regret fearing death, 'cause suicide really starts looking like a valid option.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2020, 02:09:33 pm by (Hidden) » Logged


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