One reason for being gay....
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« on: May 02, 2020, 10:20:39 pm »

I am sure there is no single reason why people are gay, but here is one reason I think is valid.

It is a FACT that in families with multiple sons, the YOUNGEST son is far more likely to be gay than the older ones.
Being a youngest son, I have an explanation for that.
Parents typically pay a LOT of attention to their first born child.. and lesser for each child after that.
Quite often, the last child was not wanted in the first place - but was the result of thinking that the parent's child bearing years were over with, but they got a SURPRISE.
I think the last sons are often neglected.  I certainly was.  Both of my older brothers were encouraged to be in Boy Scouts, drum & bugle corps, etc.  I was pretty much ignored, and left to rot at home.  Whenever my parents would go out with my older brothers to a restaurant or to the beach, they would leave me at home, with no baby-sitter. 
I think that when a child is neglected, he realizes that it is more important to have a friend than it is to have a family that can't be depended on.


« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2020, 12:34:59 am »

When I read your post, it was like looking at myself in a mirror. As the youngest of 3 boys with age differences of 12 and 16 years, I grew up in an adult world.

My dad died shortly after my 6th birthday. About a year 1.5 years later my mother remarried. Starting around the age of 9, I was left alone all the time. My parents were quite social. Their activities had no room for a little kid. Plus, our neighborhood was older, so there weren't any kids my age to hang out with. Sometimes a friend would sleep over, but most of the time it was just me. I was certainly envious of my closest friends and their families. Their grand parents were the age of my parents, for fuck's sake.

Similarly, I've always felt like my friends are my real family. My sophomore year of undergrad, I came out to my mother. She burst into tears, blamed herself for not giving me the attention I needed as a child. Sadly, I know she harbored that burden of guilt for the rest of her life.

My step-dad was an abusive dick, but mom was good person and although I never felt loved, she did her best.

It would be interesting to share more experiences, if you're up for it.


« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2020, 01:10:50 am »

It's better being gay that pretend we are not, that is my point of view, we can't choose to be but we do choose how to live this.  Wink


« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2020, 11:49:09 am »

I dont' think there is a reason "for being gay"... we are who we are  Smiley

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