You sound like a really sweet person, and sadly, having cheated with some who were âattached,â I donât think Iâve ever took into consideration the feelings of their significant others.
Going back to my college days, totally closeted
, and in the midst of a four year relationship with my âhigh school sweetheart,â I had a âthingâ with another female during my freshman and sophomore years. Ironically, out of the blue
, and after those four years, that âsweetheartâ dumped me
; and I couldnât tell you how long I cried and begged, and was bummed about it all.
After that, there was one other girl, who happened to be the girl I was âgoing withâ back in high school, before the âsweetheart,â and years later we somehow reconnected, etc., etc
. I never really thought about it until now, be she might have been the very first one I âcame outâ to, seeing that the âother womanâ was a guy who ended up being what Iâve termed as my âlive and die guyâ--the one I live for, and the one Iâd die for, the one who continues to put up with me and my shit, and has always been there for me since we got together in 1982.
One of the countless pluses in our relationship for me, is that from day one, taking into account the 20+ years age difference between us, he made it clear that he didnât want me to miss out on any âopportunitiesâ that might come my way (probably reflecting on his last 20 years, in âThe Cityâ (San Francisco), the âbaths,â and all that stuff). I, on the other hand, said, âIâm selfish, self-centered, and insecure; and I DONâT âshare.â
Anyway, he pretty much said, âJust know where âhomeâ is and donât bring home any âbugsâ.â
The only other thing was to give him a âgood nightâ call just to let him know Iâm okay. Since we donât live together, thatâs come to be a nightly thing; however, now he calls me--everyday at 2AM, to let me know all is well with him.
So, without having to cheat, I still have been able to take advantage of those opportunities coming my way over the years, both with guys and girls. Iâve always been upfront regarding having a partner and essentially guilt-free--on my part that is, since most of the females were in solid
relationships with boyfriendsâŠoh well.
The flings ranged from âone-night standsâ to your so-called ânormalâ relationships lasting years; as is currently the case, with my other SO of over 20 years.
A this point in my life and relationships, I canât imagine it happening, but In spite of having been a cheater, fuck all that âwhat goes around, comes aroundâ bullshit, I still know how badly Iâd take it, if I was cheated on.
These days, the only âcheatingâ I do with someone else are the rare, but highly pleasurable occasions via the phone, as in âphone-sex.â (Anyone interested, let me know.