What does it mean to be gay?
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« on: November 02, 2016, 07:45:58 pm »


What do you believe?

What does it mean to be gay?

And to extend the dialogue: is it a requirement that a guy be top, bottom or vers in order to be a card carrying homo?

Finally, does engaging in a specific sexual act make a person “gay”? If so, what is it?

All interesting questions on the psychological front – at least existentially.

Let us discuss them!

😋


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« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2016, 03:14:07 pm »

No and No what makes you gay is whether you have sexual / romantic attraction solely to men. Remember there are bisexual men and straight men who were bi-curious trying it out and decided it wasn't for them and there are also asexual gay men who simply do not like or have the desire for sex.
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« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2016, 03:37:36 pm »

The Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual–Homosexual Rating Scale, is used in research to describe a person's sexual orientation based on their experience or response at a given time. The scale typically ranges from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. In both the Male and Female volumes of the Kinsey Reports, an additional grade, listed as "X", was used to mean "no socio-sexual contacts or reactions". The reports were first published in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) by Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy and others, and were also prominent in the complementary work Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953).

Introducing the scale, Kinsey wrote:

Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories... The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. While emphasizing the continuity of the gradations between exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual histories, it has seemed desirable to develop some sort of classification which could be based on the relative amounts of heterosexual and homosexual experience or response in each history […] An individual may be assigned a position on this scale, for each period in his life. […] A seven-point scale comes nearer to showing the many gradations that actually exist.

— Kinsey, et al. (1948). pp. 639, 656)

The Kinsey scale ranges from 0, for those who would identify themselves as exclusively heterosexual with no experience with or desire for sexual activity with their same sex, to 6, for those who would identify themselves as exclusively homosexual with no experience with or desire for sexual activity with those of the opposite sex, and 1-5 for those who would identify themselves with varying levels of desire for sexual activity with either sex, including "incidental" or "occasional" desire for sexual activity with the same sex.

Rating   Description
0   Exclusively heterosexual
1   Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2   Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3   Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4   Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5   Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6   Exclusively homosexual
X   No socio-sexual contacts or reactions

Kinsey reports
Men: 11.6% of white males aged 20–35 were given a rating of 3 for this period of their lives. The study also reported that 10% of American males surveyed were "more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55" (in the 5 to 6 range).
Women: 7% of single females aged 20–35 and 4% of previously married females aged 20–35 were given a rating of 3 for this period of their lives. 2% to 6% of females, aged 20–35, were given a rating of 5 and 1% to 3% of unmarried females aged 20–35 were rated as 6.

A lil "behind the scenes" https://vault.fbi.gov/Alfred%20Kinsey
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« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2016, 03:40:36 pm »

Kinsey ignores the fact that some people are romantically attracted but not sexually attracted to anyone or have any desire for sex. I doubt we would find many such asexual people on a pornography tracker but they do exist.
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« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2016, 04:08:24 pm »

Statistically speaking those people were excluded from the search field.
He was able to reach people who wanted to talk about their sexuality in a not so canon manner.  blush
Other times, nowadays you can use something like the Amazon Turk just to increase your research sample.

You've just reminded me about the 草食(系)男子 issue Shocked
They do not know what they lost  Evil
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« Reply #5 on: November 04, 2016, 09:34:43 pm »

Being gay... basically you have emotional bounds to a member of the same sex exclusively...  and that is why you want to have sex with them, if you have an healthy psyche.

No you don't have to do anal to be gay... there's a lot to say about gouinage... so all the top/vers/bottom is not a member card to gaydom.

Why would you want to have sex with a guy, if you do not find him sexually atractive? So yes... while it does not define you as gay, it does take away the defenition of the straight hetero label... putting you in the fluid label of the kinsey scale from slightly bi to gay.
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« Reply #6 on: November 04, 2016, 09:52:08 pm »

Being gay is identifying yourself as gay, you don't have to do anything in perticular, and in the end only you now how you feel and which label, if any, you feel comfortable with. I have had romantic feelings for girls, I still call myself gay, 100% gay
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« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2016, 04:29:30 pm »

The main topic about being gay is the attraction about same sex people, forget about behaviour, it's the attraction and desire what spots you as gay.
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« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2016, 06:06:16 pm »

 my personal feeling about being gay means you can f*** a new partner every night  if you feel like it and you dont even have to tell him a word Smiley Younger when my job ended at 22h30 (10h30 pm) every night I went directly after to a place where you can do fun stuff : gym like workout then sauna then sex with some young beautiful stranger, and that everyday. that's nice for relaxing after work. In my town there are some places like that. It was cool. Of course now I'm too old for that Wink
I'm afraid to me that's only about sex. Feelings are more complicated for me. soo.. I had real boyfriends (like living together and all)  but I'm not sure I ever loved them.
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« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2016, 10:44:05 pm »

It maybe is just a label... but I feel that it might be who you fall in love with that matters....And even though love is spontaneous most of the time I think we subconsciously pick people with whom we can envision some sort of a future
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« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2016, 08:02:26 am »

For me, gay is another term to describe homosexuality. A sexual orientation in which you feel emotionally, sexually, romantically attracted to same sex individuals, nothing more, nothing less. I don't really consider people who have sex with the same sex but still romantically attracted to different sex as gays. Let's see a straight man have sex with another man. That doesn't mean they're gay. I deem it they just do it for the sake of pleasure, just two men having gay sex.

I think the reason most gays are viewed so negatively by the majority is because we are more strongly associated with sex, or rape. They think gays have nothing in their mind but to get other people of the same sex pants off. That's kinda sad for me actually...
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« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2016, 01:27:16 am »

I think it´s simply about feeling attraction to your same gender... you are not gay for being attracted to one guy, the same way you're not a vegetarian for eating vegetables just one day
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« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2017, 06:10:59 pm »


Kinsey ignores the fact that some people are romantically attracted but not sexually attracted to anyone or have any desire for sex. I doubt we would find many such asexual people on a pornography tracker but they do exist.

 Grin


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« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2017, 09:14:52 pm »


What does it mean to be gay?


Semantically speaking, the only thing "gay" means is "a person sexually and/or romantically attracted only towards people of the same sex with them, AKA a homosexual". However this is a widely discussed subject. For me, gay identity (or any queer identity for that matter) is a personal thing. Each one of us defines themselves in a different way, and thus gives the word "gay" a personal, extra-semantic meaning. For me personally, being gay means that I'm attracted towards masculinity, male characteristics, and the male physique, as well as the male way of thinking. For others. No matter how close or how far you are from the realistic, objective, semantic meaning, your personal opinion is valid as soon as it works for you and your identity.


Is it a requirement that a guy be top, bottom or vers in order to be a card carrying homo?


No. "top", "bottom", and "vers", as well as other labels given to gay male individuals (including but not limited to "bear", "twink", "effeminate", "pig", etc) are only optional and help putting people in categories, since this is exactly what humans in general are best at doing: putting people and things into categories of shared characteristics, organizing them properly and nicely. However, it is possible and very appreciated that a person might not want to identify with a label, any label. This might be because they don't like labels as they are strict definitions, or because they don't fit perfectly under a certain label, or simply because they cannot even define themselves with a particular label. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL AND DOESN'T MAKE YOU LESS OF A HOMOSEXUAL! The only thing that makes you valid is your existence and the way you define yourself. After all, sexuality, same as anything else natural, is mostly fluid and less static, and labels in a fluid environment might drift away! laugh


Finally, does engaging in a specific sexual act make a person “gay”? If so, what is it?


Again, it's not a specific act that makes you gay. A man might have casual sex with other men, but still consider themselves str8. You are gay if and only if you see yourself gay! Wink
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« Reply #14 on: January 26, 2017, 07:03:52 pm »

It means that you are attracted to another man... That's it.
There's no social implication attached.
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« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2017, 02:25:00 am »

It means that you are attracted to another man... That's it.
There's no social implication attached.

This's always been the definition I'd find.
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« Reply #16 on: August 17, 2017, 08:38:49 pm »

It means that you are attracted to another man... That's it.
There's no social implication attached.

This's always been the definition I'd find.

That's a good definition.  It's also interesting because males of every species of animal are larger, more attractive, and more colorful than the female.  I challenge anybody to name an exception to that rule.  Females without fancy clothes, jewelry, hairstyles, and cosmetics look terrible and quite plain.  They have terrible muscle tone and their skin tends to break down as they age.. leading to cellulite, wrinkles, sagging, etc. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gxg5HWTIAY   Do NOT miss the part at 2:10

This is interesting, because it shows how in movies, almost all voices and singing are dubbed in afterwards.  Another secret is that in modern movies, quite a bit of what you are seeing indoors and outdoors is not really there.. the actors are just standing in a plain room with green walls. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHWhCegE8-g

...and of course.. the classic William Shatner version..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5_K_pUKEJY

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« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2017, 02:55:54 am »

my personal feeling about being gay means you can f*** a new partner every night  if you feel like it and you dont even have to tell him a word Smiley Younger when my job ended at 22h30 (10h30 pm) every night I went directly after to a place where you can do fun stuff : gym like workout then sauna then sex with some young beautiful stranger, and that everyday. that's nice for relaxing after work. In my town there are some places like that. It was cool. Of course now I'm too old for that Wink
I'm afraid to me that's only about sex. Feelings are more complicated for me. soo.. I had real boyfriends (like living together and all)  but I'm not sure I ever loved them.

Um, ew, no!

Being gay is a SEXUAL attraction to someone of the same sex. Gays come in all shapes, sizes, colors, religions, attitudes, world views, perceptions, slutiness, prudeness, etc! Being gay is not about being a THOT - although many are x
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« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2017, 12:49:15 pm »

simply, being attracted to the same sex as you!
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« Reply #19 on: October 05, 2017, 06:36:17 am »

simply, being attracted to the same sex as you!

Being gay is not just about physical attraction, isn't it?

 angel


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