Oddly, someone pulled up a comment I made last year on Facebook about being sexually harassed in The Sports Connection (a gay gym in WeHo) and said I was against it because I must not have gotten any attention.
Quite the opposite.
I have such mixed feelings on this issue... I can't be the only one, so let's have a conversation about it.
By today's standards as to what constitutes rape (which I do not agree with) I have been raped multiple times. I said no. They persisted. I said no again lather, rinse, repeat -- and he's in my ass. (On an aside, this happens a lot in Asian culture, especially here in Japan.) With each one of my (ahem) rapes
, I could have easily fought them off. Had I turned violent, no doubt in my mind it would have ended. To call what happened rape is an insult to people who are held down and beaten into submission they can't easily get away from.
At the same time, the meaning of being sexually accosted takes its impact from how people around us feel about it. When I was fresh meat
in WeHo clubs, being touched was normal, something you laughed about later with your friends like, "did you see that troll grabbing my ass -- like if ever...".
I refuse to be told I'm a victim because someone acted inappropriately towards me. I will not do it. I think this attitude has dis
empowered people. When someone does something you don't like, just tell them. Twice or three times if need be. That was the learning curve when I came out in the late 80's early 90's.
On the other hand, I do understand the fuss. I don't want people jerking off to me (or near me) in the sauna. I don't care if it's in the gay part of town and you're aroused, put it away and take it to the showers -- or home.
Yeah, honestly I haven't firmly sorted out how I feel about this, so discussion is appreciated.
Here's the article Flozen posted elsewhere that got me thinking about it. https://www.gmfa.org.uk/fs162-consent-and-the-gay-community