Asking People Out (In Person) - A Lost Art?
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« on: January 12, 2019, 12:45:53 pm »

Is it just me or do people find that we don't ask each other out anymore in person?
I get the feeling that people are so used to being able to do it online (on Tinder or Grindr) that they just imply don't bother to gather the guts to go up to someone at a coffeeshop and ask them out.
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« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2019, 01:50:15 pm »

Is it just me or do people find that we don't ask each other out anymore in person?
I get the feeling that people are so used to being able to do it online (on Tinder or Grindr) that they just imply don't bother to gather the guts to go up to someone at a coffeeshop and ask them out.

I meet my husband way back then over a hotline (on phone) and he took my virginity after we spoke a short time. But after the first time he asked me out on a proper date. Witch, of course ended up with me in the backseat of his car..... Hug
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« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2019, 07:07:46 pm »

yeah technology ushered in an era of throw away society
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« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2019, 07:25:25 am »

Is it just me or do people find that we don't ask each other out anymore in person?
I get the feeling that people are so used to being able to do it online (on Tinder or Grindr) that they just imply don't bother to gather the guts to go up to someone at a coffeeshop and ask them out.

Agreed.
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« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2019, 11:01:18 pm »

This is right, technology has changed the way we flirt
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« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2019, 10:56:50 pm »

   In my opinion technology, phone apps etc. has had an extreme effect  -not only on asking someone out (which if you do do it, guys seem to be shocked and unable to process the question ha), but on cruising, bars, etiquette/manners, and yes, ill go there, is a threat to gay culture in general. Im sure I sound like octogenarian, (no offense meant) "in my day.....!" ha But not only do people not ask each other out, guys dont even cruise anymore. Maybe its just the cities ive experienced , but it seems to be dying out. People arent going out to the clubs and bars to meet people like they once did. They can do it on their phones. Cities like San Francisco that used to boast gay clubs or bars in every neighborhood (no matter how boring, -or for that matter dangerous, uptight or straight {anyone remember lion pub? ack!} the neighborhood) & having several gay districts (Folsom, Polk, the Castro, etc) now have nothing or at best a gay friendly bar. Parks and sidewalk that used to hum with sexual activity - forget sexual activity, just live people - now barely have anyone not staring at their phone.

 The part I think that is truly lost is how we act together, our interactions, our public/ collective consciousness, and the things that cannot be learned through a picture or stats, people dont know how to interact with one another. That I expect from straight people, but when we stop that amongst ourselves what do we have left other than sex? Gay culture is changing, I get it, i never wanted to get married, have kids, or join the army - ill even admit that this "zionist movement" has a place within the gay community..., but some of the best friendship i had made were from that public interaction. Sitting on a bench cheek to cheek with guys i didnt know often sparked kinship, friendship, or romance based on the things one has to observe in person to know about. Maybe it was the kindness shown to someone in an embarrassing situation...  The confidence shown in dealing with people, in public.... or even how funny a witty person can be... doesnt have to be catty t show intelligence.... those are the real things that are lost.  but I am just skipping across the topic.... :Smiley
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« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2019, 03:46:23 pm »

I’ve heard stories about gay people asking random people out and succeding. It seems to be a high quality science fiction. Where I live, you’d get a punch to your face just for that. But for straight people, it works like charm.

As for gay bars and clubs, I assume it does work for sex encounters. Otherwise 99.99% you’ll meet will be people you’ll have absolutely nothing in common. In that case you’ll actually have more success in finding your "soul mate" by chatting with random straight girls about weather than by going to a gay club.
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« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2019, 08:04:39 pm »

Try eye contact. it gives a clear message
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