What do you think?
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« on: March 05, 2020, 07:59:11 am »

I have a story.

11 years ago I saw a boy (4 years younger), I thought that he was interesting. I have see him grow up from a distance and wanted to be his leader or leader with him

On the end of last year I asked him if he wanted to be leader with me so I could learn  who he was, he said yes. I Als asked if I may place my hand on his 8 pack, he then knew I was gay. He asket on this location and I was so surprised in that answer that I said no.

On the following camp I had another talk with him off my past, not about my feelings. On the end we 2 where going to town for food. There I had looked to deep in his eyes.

4 days later he did stop as leader, my world was growing down. After a month of texting (and telling him that I had strong feelings for him) I was placed in a mentel facility for my own protection. The boy took time to came to there and to work something out.

Now I have the chance to know him bether, we text many, we go to a movie, go camping, go eating, swimming,... And we talk a lot.

He is not gay but I may hope for a feature with him off him, He said that wood that he could do that. We knew each other now really for 4/5 months.

What do you think off the situation? He is 4 years younger than me (20 and 24).
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« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2020, 07:37:37 am »

Assuming "He said that wood that he could do that" should be "He would if he could do that”?

Either way... He has a reason for not pursuing. He may or may not be into men. He may simply want a friendship in spite of or because of his orientation. He may have his own issues that he is going thru which take priority over all else for him. The list goes on.

No one here knows this person so we can’t say give a definite to do list.

That being stated… you have a choice:


1.   Take a chance and tell him how you feel. This can go either way.

He can stay a friend, walk away, or end the friendship. It is all on him. You have absolutely no control over his reaction & decision.

2.   Resolve to be a friend without the expectation of more if that is what he wants.

3.    If you cannot handle #2 & that is as far as he can go… separate for the benefit of both of you.

Before all of that… do a honest self-evaluation (get help from someone who knows & loves you enough to be honest with you if need be) to determine if pursuing him or anyone is in your best interest at this point in time.

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« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2020, 06:36:02 pm »

I would definetely talk to him and be clear about my feelings towards him. If you are friends, you cannot hide those feelings forever.
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« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2020, 04:33:53 pm »

You say you spent a month texting him and telling him of your feelings. You don't say if he replied to any of your messages. If someone I wasn't interested in did that to me, I would think he was a stalker. Perhaps he reported you and that's why you were placed in an institution? In many countries this sort of thing happens.

The flag on your profile says Barbados, so I assume you are from there. Right now, same-sex is illegal in Barbados, and the culture not very understanding. So it sounds like you got away relatively easily - it could have been much worse. And it's good he is open-minded enough to be your friend.

It's fine to be his friend, but don't expect much of anything else. It's too bad you're in love with him, as it will only end in disappointment for you. If he is OK with hearing about how you feel, tell him, but realize that if he ever turns against you, he could cause a lot of problems. I would recommend telling him once, and leaving it at that; nothing is more annoying than hearing that sort of thing over and over again. You don't want him to feel you are pressuring him, especially since you are older than he. Be very careful and discreet.

I would never tell anyone to deny who they are, but I would advise you, if you are in Barbados, to be very careful. Take this from someone who has lived for many years in several countries where homosexuality is illegal and culturally taboo, and has seen some pretty bad things happen to people.

However, if you are, say, a Barbadian (is that the proper word?) living in the West, like the UK or Canada, I would tell you to go for it, but advise you not to make yourself a pest.

Good luck.
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« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2020, 09:30:03 am »

difficult situation. but who knows he may like you too. just be prepared for whatever outcome.
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« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2020, 02:22:14 pm »

difficult situation. but who knows he may like you too. just be prepared for whatever outcome.

Be prepared for every outcome!

 Smiley


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