An older gay man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this:
“First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, and still no luck.
“I went and asked my partner for help. Like me, he tried with his right hand, and then with his left. He even tried it with both hands at once.
“He then tried his mouth -- first with his teeth in, then with his teeth out, and still nothing.
“We even called up Ralph, the old gay guy next door, for help. Ralph had some new ideas… first he tried an armpit, and he even squeezed it between his knees, until we gave up."
The doctor was a bit shocked at these last details and said, "You asked your neighbor?".
The old man replied, "Yes, and none of us could get that jar open."